1. Aggressive tone or loud voice
Men and especially husbands, sometimes care so much about being right that they don't realize that they often sound threatening and overwhelming to their spouse.
2. Condescending comments
Phrases like, "Don't worry about it" or "It's not a big deal" are big mistakes because it does not acknowledge the feelings of your wife.
3. Interrupting her with arguments that invalidate her feelings or correct her observations
A typical comment would be "You shouldn't feel that way." Instead of taking time to reflect and saying something like, "I understand you think that…"
4. Expressing frustration with the pace of the argument
This is when a man will say in frustration, "Why do we have to go over this again and again." A better approach is for a man to say, "I have to take a time out so I can better absorb what it is you are saying."
5. Offering solutions rather than asking more questions.
It is such a common pattern for men: rather than listening,
they offer solutions. He might think he is being helpful, but to her, he is
simply being dismissive.
6. Having to get in the final word
Whatever she says, her man comes back with, "So once again everything has to be the way, everything you want to be such a big deal." Statements like these often stem from a male's sense of frustration that his partner has more accomplished verbal skills. Getting in the final word is simply taking a verbal swipe that says, "I refuse to let you think that you have won this argument."
7. Tit for tat
When she complains, you raise her complaint with more complaints of your own. Chalk it up to a man's competitive nature, but in truth, it's no way to make peace and move beyond your argument.
8. Giving in to what she wants, but with the message that you are doing so even though she is
being unreasonable6. Having to get in the final word
Whatever she says, her man comes back with, "So once again everything has to be the way, everything you want to be such a big deal." Statements like these often stem from a male's sense of frustration that his partner has more accomplished verbal skills. Getting in the final word is simply taking a verbal swipe that says, "I refuse to let you think that you have won this argument."
7. Tit for tat
When she complains, you raise her complaint with more complaints of your own. Chalk it up to a man's competitive nature, but in truth, it's no way to make peace and move beyond your argument.
8. Giving in to what she wants, but with the message that you are doing so even though she is
This is no way to make peace. All this approach will accomplish is to set both of you up for future fights.
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