Easy Money-Saving Changes (For The Everyday House-wife)

       One of the most obvious and easy ways to save some extra cash is to change some of the way you use products and items in your everyday life.  The key is to make minor changes. 

       For instance, always buy the cheapest hand soap you can find.  The quality doesn’t necessarily go up with the price and you can use it in place of ‘bath soap.’ 

       Always use the whole product.  Turn bottles upside down and drain to get the last bit from them.  Tear open sugar and flour sacks to get everything; squeeze or cut open tubes to use it all before running out to buy more.  You’ll be surprised at how much there really is left! 

            Also, never use more than you need.  Just because it says on the box that you need a full cup, doesn’t mean that you really do it need it.  Half a measure of laundry detergent and a half teaspoon of dish soap are examples of what are usually enough, rather than what the manufacturer or adverts says. 

       To save some cash, you can use some of the things in your house in some unique ways.  Instead of spending lots of money on the fancy floor cleaners, try using ammonia.  It does a great job, and you can use plain water in between times.  If your furniture needs some polishing, mix equal parts of white vinegar and vegetable oil and rub on the furniture.  Buff with a cloth until it shines. 

       For a freezer bag, use empty chip bags and close with masking taps.  Also try a bowl with a lid, such as a margarine tub. 

       If your skin is feeling a little dry, there are several substitutes for expensive lotion.  Petroleum jelly rubbed into your hands at night after a warm water soak, mayonnaise (rinse with cold water after), or any other oil based food.  Just be sure to put it on immediately after your hands have been in water.

        To save some money on laundry, dissolve a bar of hand-soap in water to replace laundry detergent.  Add three gallons of hot water; mix thoroughly and add a cup of washing soda. 

       Sure, these are small changes, but added up, they can put some extra change into your pocket throughout the year!

      

SIMPLE WAYS TO AVOID INFIDELITY

Marriage involves a day by day devotion if it is to survive the challenges of life. Yes, our wedding day vow was of remarkable significance; but our commitment needs to be renewed and kept afresh on a daily basis.

This responsibility is shown in the way we regard each other as a couple and in our commitment to stay devoted to our partner in our dealings with other people.

1.         The greatest protection to drive away the intrusion and temptation of a strange partner and the lure of going into an affair is to maintain a rewarding and enjoyable marriage which satisfies the needs of both partners.

2.         Where does infidelity start from? It is usually from the moment when two persons not married to each other begin to share intimate personal frequently instead of confiding in their own spouses. That “strange” ear that is ever open to you could soon become a shoulder to lean on, and a bosom to lie on. People are bound to make mistake and feelings of intimacy are sometimes uncontrollable.

If you are someone troubled by feelings of loneliness, rejection or anger towards your spouse yet have an increased excitement about seeing “the stranger” you repeatedly confide in, then you are bound to fall.

3.         Generally a lot of affairs arise from poor communication between couples. A lot of people assume their partners want sex just as they do. They expect their spouse to think like them and expect the partner to always know what the other wants. This is wrong and opens one up for temptation.

When one partner feels their needs aren't getting met or they desire more attention, yet the other spouse assumes everything is all right and doesn't pay attention to the spouse on time, the needy spouse may stumble upon someone at work, in the neighborhood or at a social gathering who shows them attention. If this trend is not stopped, such a person will shortly find him/herself looking for support from somebody outside the marriage, and this will unavoidably lead to infidelity since the seed of an affair have been sown.

4.         As career people are more vulnerable to fall for flirtatious advances, it is essential for spouses with career partners to define what limits should be set to avoid unnecessary exposure to temptation. Remember that just a meal could mean more to the other fellow. This is why ordinary situations such business trips, official dinners / business parties, field work with team member at the office and other general work setting could create avenues for temptations.

As a rule, an essential limit would be to avoid going to lunch or dinner alone with a colleague or associate of the opposite sex. Drinking of alcohol or consuming stimulating foods when your spouse is not present is equally dangerous. Avoid it!

A simple precaution would keep you away from compromising situations that may encourage temptations even if not intended. Some co-workers or associates may consider your stand strange. But it is easier to explain to them that you and your partner are devoted to keeping your marriage safe, and have deliberately opted for these limitations than for you to contend with a spouse that is suspicious of you and end up with a broken home.

5.         An unhappy sex life is at home makes a married person more open to temptations and sexual advances from others. This is an unfortunate reality which couples must accept. It is therefore imperative that spouses create quality time for romance and sex, and they must be open to communicate and share their sexual needs to their partners.

6.         It is strongly advised to that you let each other know if you are feeling threatened by any situation that is capable of going in a direction that may not be to handle. Talking with your spouse about ways to protect your marriage and keeping it strong will help you gain strength and confidence to say no to any intruder. It will help you bolt your heart from amorous and sexual advances.

7.         Marriage is like a cloth. It can only be sewn with thread and not cellotape. And trust is that thread which binds marriages together. Trust is an essential element that keeps all other attributes of successful marriages intact.

It keeps out fear and jealousy, and it enhances hope, commitment, and peace. Marriage is easier where there is trust. This places a responsibility on spouses to do everything possible to maintain and shun things that may dismember their marriage and commitment to their partners

8.         When it comes to social networking with the opposite sex not known to you spouse, RUN AWAY! It is better to face reality than let Facebook ruin your marriage. That insignificant comment or chat may seem harmless; but it could potentially develop into an affair. Flee from it.

Without mincing words, any online association with the opposite sex is an extremely dangerous venture. It denies your spouse and marriage useful devotion; concentrated attention, time, energy and perhaps sincerity.

Last Word:

Expectedly, marriage is not a bed of roses neither is it merely two legs in bed. Marriage is a place of forbearance and commitment. Although ones needs may not be total meet by ones spouse, there are indeed several ways to resolve marital issues, and infidelity is certainly not one of them. Running to have an affair because of challenges in marriage or lack of commitment form your spouse equally shows your lack of commitment to your marriage. Stand up to fight for your marriage!

COPING WITH AN ALCOHOLIC HUSBAND

So Chelsea won the UEFA Champions League Cup. And your husband stayed out all night drinking till dawn. This is not his first time. He is a habitual drinker. He drinks 10 to 16 beers a day but he his is not convinced about his drinking habit. He says only drunkenness is a sin and he believes he hasn’t gotten to that point.

I believe having or gulping ten or sixteen beers a day is alcoholic. But most alcoholics hardly admit that they have a problem and rationalize their behaviour. They usually vehemently refuse the idea that they have a problem. Some resist attempts by friends and family to even discuss the issue or counsel them until some form of crisis emerge. But strangely too, some don’t see anything wrong with themselves even in the face of depression, hangover and other disorders. So what do you do as a wife?

First, you need to understand his denial that he has a problem is a face saving attitude, because many addicts including alcoholics consider doing so as a weakness. You must face this reality or you will become part of the problem and reinforce it.

Was he an alcoholic before you married him? If yes, there must have been a reason why were you attracted to man in the first place. Was it because you had a parent and siblings that were alcoholics and you are now just repeating a pattern? Or you just felt you needed to be loved irrespective of the personality involved? Or did he become a drinker after you got married?

Whatever the reason is, you need to begin by look at yourself and consider your part in the problem.  You can’t change your husband; but you can you. And as you change, he is most likely to change. The average man wants his wife to take care of him, perhaps put up with is attitudes, and in doing this you might as well be his saviour.

Second, you need to apply tough love and confront your husband with reality, with the truth. As a wife, this is the most loving thing you can do to your spouse. This is why tough love is truly tough.

Even if there is no guarantee that this would work, you need to exercise tough love. You need to lovingly explain to your husband that his drinking habit is affecting your relationship, that he needs to see it as a problem and explain why he needs to get help.

Third, seek outside help. Don’t try to tackle the problem alone. Seek a qualified trusted counselor who can guide and help you. This is necessary because your husband is most likely going to refuse to face reality and continue his drinking habits.

If he refuses to get help or begin a recovery program, you may at some point give him stern warning that his habit would affect your relationship. If you don’t take a stand, you would probably head for greater problems ahead.

Fourth, and most important of all, seek God’s help. Ask God every day to help you become the best wife you can be to your husband in everything you do and say. Ask God to help you see what you are contributing to the problem and help you to overcome it. Ask Him to help you to be firm and loving when in conflict and where tough love is needed.       

And pray that your husband see goodness and godliness in you and want the same for himself.

WHO BATHS THE BABY - MOTHER IN-LAW OR NURSING MOTHER?

One of the earliest sources of troubles in many homes is the arrival of the first baby, and here comes the mother in-law or your mother to bath the newborn.

It is a common truth that besides financial issues and poor sexual intimacy, one of the greatest source of problems in marriages, especially that of younger couples is outside interference, mostly of in-laws. And of the in-laws, the mother in-laws hold the greatest influence.

So how do we keep such influences away, reduce them or at best, make them positively work for our marriages?

Is it really possible to keep either couples mother away? When are they expected to come, and how long should they stay?

One very widely accepted time mothers and mother in-laws come live with married couples is when a newborn arrives. Yes, they come to bath the baby until the nursing mother is able and ready to assume that responsibility. And such stays could stretch for weeks. This is usually long enough time for any fault finding mother in-law to make attempts to shape things the way she desires. And many frictions in homes begin this way.

But must either mother of the couple stay with the couple for the role of baby bathing? Can’t nursing mothers take the challenge of learning how to bath and tend their babies before they arrive?

These are some questions we put before some married couples and the recurring issue was the inability of nursing mothers to bath newborns together with the desire of the extended family to share in the joy of childbirth and parenthood.

According to Mrs. Shedrach, a business owner and a mother of 4, “It is good and right for mothers or mother in-laws to come visit and bath newborns.

A woman that newly gives birth is usually not strong at that particular moment, and it is the mother of the woman who can take care of the baby very well. You can’t ask the father of the newborn to bath him.”

She continues, “Usually, it’s the mother of the nursing mother that takes this role; but when a woman’s mother is unavailable, she and her husband can arrange for the husband’s mother to come over”

In Mrs. Shedrach’s opinion, “The nursing mother learns from her own mother by watching the process of bathing the baby to enable her continue the task when ‘Mama’ is gone. We can’t entirely rule out this ‘Granma’ role because it has become a culture. The tradition would continue because it is a thing of joy”

On the issue of probable interference, she says, “It happens only where there is lack of understanding.”  To her, where there is the fear of God, problems would not arise.

For Mr. Lewis, a man in his 40’s, he wouldn’t want mothers or mother in-laws to come spoil the peace in his home. Hear him,

“Let them stay where there are! Let them remain in their own homes. They can come for only for a couple of days and return to their husbands. The entrance of women’s mothers has polluted many hitherto peaceful marriages. If I have my way, I want intruding in-laws to stay away and only come during naming ceremonies or baby dedications.”

Could he be speaking from experience? Is his position strange or valid?

He added, “My wife had been the one bathing all our five children, and if God gives us another one, she would do the same. Thank God she is even now experienced enough.”

On her part, Mrs. Kolade, an educationist and a mother of three, vehemently objects the stance of Mr. Lewis. According her, “It is very necessary, if not compulsory, especially for the firstborn because we have seen incidences where nursing mothers’ negligence and inability to handle such newborns have led to death of infants”. 

She added, “Mothers and mother in-laws have experience and are in the best position to bath newborns. Though other persons such as a nurse could undertake this role, but it’s the joy of the family and grandmothers to see and nurse their own grandchildren. Some grandmothers even travel abroad for this purpose”.

Not yet done, Mrs. Kolade goes on to state emphatically, “For me, I pray to bath my own children’s children. Besides, some mothers wouldn’t stay for too long. Those that are educated usually run back to their own homes and husbands within a short period.

But it is good for a nursing mother to have experience in baby bathing before she delivers her baby. I have seen women who are even afraid of handling their own babies in the first few days because the newborn is fragile. So for me, I totally support mothers and mother in-laws coming to bath newborns.

Whether the issue is with fear of the slippery baby, ignorance, lack of understanding, sheer negligence on the part of nursing mothers, or whether you or the bay like the bath or not, the baby must be bathed. It is therefore advisable that every woman (perhaps dads too) should learn how to make bathing your newborn a safe and enjoyable experience.