Marriage involves uniting two
different people with the expectation of facing life’s challenges together as
one. This is God’s expectation for you and your spouse.
But for couples to essentially overcome
life’s obstacles, they must first be a team. The ability of you and your spouse
to overcoming issues and becoming fulfilled is tied to how close you are to
each other and to God.
This may seem hard, but it is the key
to happiness in marriage and you can achieve it.
Here are a few ways
to build a lasting marriage and overcoming life’s obstacles
together as a couple:
1. Pray
Together Regularly
Praying together helps in taking away
some pressures of your shoulders, especially for the husband and helps everyone
align their expectations.
Establish and maintain a habit of
praying with your spouse for wisdom, direction, and strength in your marriage –
and to communicate with God concerning specific issues that each of you have.
If circumstances (such as distance,
nature of work, etc) do not permit you to pray face-to-face, pray over the
phone together or arrange a time and pray over itemized issues.
2. Don’t
Fight Over Every Issue
Disagreements
would surely come in marriage; but choose your battles wisely. Don’t let
minor irritations in your relationship grow to become problems.
Note that you both have personal
habits, idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and you need to allow your spouse some
space and grace. Use time and energy only on disagreements about major issues
that you all really need to work through and resolve for the health of your
marriage.
3. Encourage
Each Other’s Dreams And Goals
Spouses ought to help themselves bring
out the best in each other by encouraging each other to pursue their God-given dreams.
Don’t compel your spouse to follow
your path if he or she is not cut out for that. Don’t let one spouse’s dreams
get neglected. Strive to allocate your shared attention, time, energy, and
money so that both of you can pursue your God-given dreams to bring the best
out of your union.
4. Kill
Anger
“Till death do us part…”we normally
say. But a lot of spouses kill each other daily with their mouths and actions.
Be careful not to hurt your spouse
through the ways you express your anger (such as by speaking harsh words or
throwing objects).
Ask God to give you the self-control
you need to direct your anger in healthy, productive ways (like motivation for
solving problems) rather than in destructive ways.
When you’re arguing with your spouse
and are having trouble controlling your anger, take a break and resume
discussing the issue later when you’re not too tired or stressed.
5. Always
Remember Your Commitment To Each Other
Please note that love is never
constant. It fluctuates. As your marital love matures, the intense romantic
feelings you had for each other initially will fade, because they’ve already
accomplished their purpose of getting you all to focus on each other.
How do you then progress in marriage?
You need to build your love on the commitment you and your spouse made to each
other, which is much more reliable than your feelings. Fall back on your commitment when your feelings seem to falter.
6. Grieve
When You Lose; But Hold Hands Still And Don’t Quit
Marriage is
simply not a bed of roses. Challenges would inevitably come. Expect to experience
some difficult losses and disappointments together sometimes in this fallen
world.
But whenever that happens, deal with
each other gracefully, supporting each other with whatever you all need to
grieve in your own ways while relying on God to help you through the process.
Don’t jump ship when the times are tough!
7. Keep
Learning, Growing, And Adjusting Together
Marriage is a school, an institution
where no permanent solutions are found. It is a union where you keep refining
and re-shaping yourself.
During every new day of your marriage
that God gives you and your spouse, choose to follow God as He leads you on new
adventures, so you both can become the people God intends you to become.
