How to Serve Your Husband - The Way He Wants to be Served

 

I have been blessed with an amazing husband who will literally do anything for me. I chose this photo because it illustrates how willing he is to serve me so well.

We were in Chicago, waiting to get on a train to go into the city to watch the Chicago Symphony. I realized it was a little bit nippy out, and I had left my coat in the car, which was parked pretty far away. 

All I had to do was mention that I was bummed that I left it, and he was off to fetch it for me. It was a good thing the train was late, or we would have missed it because of his gallantry! And if we had missed the train, we would have been late to the concert, and for The Maestro to risk missing a Chicago Symphony concert it has to be something big.

True love. That's pretty big.

Seriously, he serves me so much and so well, that I feel like a spoiled princess half the time. Did I mention he'll do just about anything for me? He loves me that much and is just that kind of guy.

I, however, do not serve him as naturally as he serves me. It isn't that I don't want to serve him, though. It's that I have a tendency to get so overwhelmed and wrapped up in my own stuff that I don't see his needs or notice the many ways I could serve him. So this serving my husband thing is something I am always working on.

Serve your husband the way he wants to be served.

As I have worked on it, I have realized that serving him the way he wants to be served doesn't have to be difficult at all. In fact, if you just pay attention, you'll know exactly what your husband needs.
 

Observe him.

You can learn an awful lot by just watching. I can tell whether The Maestro is stressed about something at work or if he is overwhelmed with grading (husbands get overwhelmed, too!). When I notice these things, I try to think of something I can do that will help ease his load a little bit. Maybe it's taking over dinner duty (that's his job at our house) or maybe it's showing up at his office with his favorite Subway combo. It could be something as small as cleaning up after the little messes he makes without complaint, too. Just watch, and you will start seeing hundreds of things you can do to make your husband's life easier.
 

Listen to him.

Are you really hearing it when your husband tells you what he needs? My husband often recites all of the things he needs to get done when he is stressed. I could just be sympathetic and go and do my own thing, but I could also really hear what he's saying. He is saying "This is what I have to do, is there any way you could do something on this list for me?" He may not even realize that is what he is saying, but you can read between the lines. And you should read between the lines.

Yesterday was Bria's birthday and she had requested a German chocolate cake. I came home for lunch and found The Maestro frantically working on his rehearsal for that night and the cake not even started. He then ran down his list and he said he didn't know how he would get the cake done. I will admit, I was a little bugged because I had to work and I didn't know how I would do it either!

But after lunch I realized that what I needed to do was cancel a lesson so I could go home and do the cake for him. And that is exactly what I did. It was a sacrifice on my part, but one I was willing to make for true love.

Ask him.

If all your observation powers fail you, just ask. There's nothing wrong with that! And the best part is, you'll know exactly what he needs and there will be no guesswork involved. A simple "What can I do to help you today?" goes a really long way towards improving your marriage relationship. It also helps you both learn to communicate better.

Thank him.

I know that not all husbands are as willing to serve their wives as mine is. But when your husband does serve you, you should thank him. I have sometimes taken all the princess pampering I get for granted and it has hurt my husband's feelings that I wasn't grateful. It's amazing what a simple "thank-you" can do!

A couple years ago I texted my husband and thanked him for something I had noticed he had done in the house. Later, he told me that the text made him feel so appreciated and loved that he couldn't wait to do something else for me.

I know that showing gratitude doesn't seem like a way of showing service to your husband, but it is. The thanking doesn't have to be for things he does out of the ordinary, either. Try sending him a text telling him how grateful you are that he goes to work each day to provide for the family. Stick a note in his lunch thanking him for being such a great father to your kids.

Service goes both ways, and a happy marriage includes a lot of it.

What do you to to serve your husband?

Lara Neves

How To Choose A Breast Pump

It is true that returning to work for nursing mothers is always tough since they have to cope with continuous feeding the baby and being at work. The way around this challenge for many mothers is to use the breast pump.

Breast pumps are generally used to ensure continued production of breast milk when you cannot feed your baby - whether you are back to work, traveling, taking medication, or just out of town. 

Milk production in the breasts work on the same principle of demand and supply. The more breast milk your baby consumes, the more your body will need to make. 

Basic types of pumps

Breast pumps can either be battery operated, hand operated, semi automatic electric, or even self cycling electric.

1.         Hand pumps

Manual hand pumps are designed to use the strength of your hand or arm muscles for pumping one breast at a time.  You can also get pumps that will use the leg and foot muscles for pumping both breasts at one time. 

Mothers that with carpal tunnel syndrome may want to consider using a pump designed for the arm or leg muscles or even an automatic model.

2.         Battery operated pumps

Pumps with battery operation are the best for women who have an established supply of milk and want to pump once or even twice a day.  These pumps use batteries to create suction, minimizing any type of muscle fatigue.  Most battery type pumps are designed for pumping one breast at a time and are recommended for occasional usage.

3.         Electric pumps

Even though electric pumps are more efficient than hand or even battery operated pumps, they also tend to be more expensive.  You can however, rent them if you need to.  Electric pumps can normally plug directly into an outlet and are designed for pumping both breasts at a time and even frequent use.

Hospital grade pumps are the most efficient for initiating and maintaining milk supply, and are available for rent or purchase, even online (Amazon).

How To Use A Breast Pump So You Can Resume Work

Cope with the challenging of resuming work while still breastfeeding is always tough for many nursing mothers. How can they manage tending their baby and still cope with the responsibilities of work?

One possible solution is pumping to store breast milk for the infant. But many young mothers find it hard to use the pump.

Just like breast feeding, pumping is a skill that you learn.  When first trying a breast pump, most mothers are only able to express a few drops of milk. With proper practice and knowledge, the mother will be more efficient at pumping.

Preparing the breast pump

1.         Read all the instructions in the kit very carefully.

2.         Every part of the breast pump will need to be sterilized before you begin using it.

3.         After use, all the parts of the pump will need to be washed in warm, soapy water, then rinsed with hot water and drained on a clean towel.  The plastic tubing doesn't need to be cleaned unless you get milk into it.  If you do wash it, it should be hung to allow time to dry and drain thoroughly.

4.  If your doctor feels the need, the entire kit can be sterilized every day.

5.  When you first start with an electric pump, the suction level should be on the lowest possible setting. 

How to begin

• Warm compresses, gentle massages of the breast and gentle nipple stimulation will help to stimulate a quick let down.

• You should always relax while doing breast massages during pumping.  Some mothers prefer to close their eyes then think about nursing the baby, imagining the baby in their arms. The more relaxed a mother is, the better let down she'll have and the more milk will be dispensed.

• Your first attempts at pumping should be considered practice sessions with learning to use the breast pump as the goal, not how much milk is actually dispensed.

• When you use a hand pump, quick, short pumps at the start is stimulating and will imitate more closely the way a baby breast feeds.  Once the let down occurs and milk starts to flow freely, long, steadier strokes are more effective and less tiring.

• When you learn to pump, you should practice for 5 minutes on a side at least once or twice a day.  Always pick the least stressful part of your day for pumping. 

Relaxing and realizing that the pump is your friend is the single most important thing that a mother can do. 

There are several things that a mother can do to help herself relax, such as putting a picture of the baby on the pump, playing cards or a game with friends, watching television, read books, or talk on the phone.

Simply watching the collection bottle is not helpful and will probably put more stress on you than you actually need.

Breast pumps and breast pump bras can be bought from your regular mother-care shop or get them online (especially from Amazon) delivered to you.

Coping With Breastfeeding As A Working Nursing Mother

 

One of the most challenging times for working nursing mothers, is when the return to work after their maternity leave is over. At such times, the baby still needs breast milk, which must come at regular intervals.

Many husbands would want their wives to stay at home to tend their babies; but for a career woman, she must resume work after the maternity leave. And she must contribute her quota to the sustaining the home and maintaining her career.

How then do career women cope with this challenge?  How do they return to work and still continue to breast feed?

As a nursing mother, if you live close to work or have an on-site daycare, you may be able to breast feed during your breaks.  But if that isn't possible, there are two choices you might consider:

1.         Keep your milk supply by using a high quality automatic electric breast pump to express milk during the day.  Save your milk that you collect for your baby sitter or nanny. 

2.         If you don't want to or can't pump at work, you can gradually replace daytime feedings with formula while you are not at home but still continue to nurse at night and in the morning. The milk your body produces may not be enough to keep your baby satisfied, even if you only need enough for 2 feedings.

Advantages of pumping at work

Pumping at work will help stimulate your production of milk, so you'll have plenty available when it comes time to feed. You can also collect the milk you pump, so your baby will have the health and nutritional benefits of breast milk even when you aren't there. 

To make things better, pumping can be an ideal way to feel a connection to your baby during the work day.

Although it can seem like a hassle, many mothers find that the benefits of breast pumping far outweight the inconvenience.

To manage pumping at work, you'll need to have the following:

1.         Breast pump, preferably a fully automatic electric pump with a double collection kit so you can pump both breasts simultaneously.

2.         Bottles or bags for collecting and storing the milk.

3.         Access to a refrigerator or cooler to keep the milk cold until you return home.

4.         Breast pads to help protect your clothes if you start to leak.

Make sure that you get used to pumping before you return to work, so you'll know what to expect and how it feels.  You'll be much more confident with pumping at work if you already know that you can produce enough milk. 

At work, you'll want to have somewhere that's away from everyone else when you pump, such as an empty office or empty room. This way, you'll be away from everyone else and you can have the quiet tranquility you need to pump.  In most offices, this shouldn't be a problem.

For the time frame, you'll want to pump every 2 - 3 hours if possible.  If you can't, every 4 hours or so will have to suffice.  After you have finished pumping, store the milk in the bags or bottles, clean yourself up, then go back to work.  When you return home, you can feed the milk to your growing baby.

Keeping Your Maiden Name

In my generation, it was a given that if you got married, you took on your husband's name. If Mary Jones married John Smith, Mary Jones dropped her maiden name and took on her husband's last name and Mary Jones became Mary Smith or Mrs. Mary Smith. Many of these women chose to omit their own name completely and took on the full name of their husband so that every legal document was signed Mrs. John Smith.

Then, for a long while, hyphenated names became popular. Mary Jones, after she was married, became Mary Jones-Smith letting the public know that she now had a husband. But, that was in the days when women didn't change husbands as often as they changed underwear. With the divorce rate being so high, hyphenated names can get confusing. If a woman has been married four or five times, she can end up with a name like Mary Jones-Smith-Forrester-Thompson-Kelly-Griffin.

There are many reasons that women want to keep their own last name and it has nothing to do with feminism. In many cases, it has more to do with the fact that women are getting married later in life and they have spent more years as a single woman than a married woman and they want to keep their identity. Or it could be less complicated for the children with several stepfathers when they register for school.

In other cases, women have gone into careers and have built up a reputation under their maiden name and it's too confusing to try to get the public to get accustomed to their new name. If an author has built up a solid reputation as Mary Jones, her readers will keep looking for her books under that name. It wouldn't occur to the average reader to look her up under any other name so they wouldn't be buying her newer books.

In the entertainment industry, Elizabeth Taylor remained Elizabeth Taylor no matter how many husbands she accumulated through the years. The men didn't become Richard Taylor or Eddie Taylor and she didn't become Elizabeth Burton or Elizabeth Fisher, and yet no one batted an eye, so why is it such an issue with couples who aren't in the entertainment industry?

Then, there's the matter of a credit history. If the woman has a great credit history and her husband does not, she could be denied credit based on her husband's bad credit.

For whatever reason, it seems as though more women are opting to keep their maiden name than ever before and, in time to come, it may become the accepted norm.

By Connie H. Deutsch

Source:

Breastfeeding For New Mothers

If you are a new mother, a mother to be, or if you have a wife, then you must read this. The experience of breastfeeding is special for so many reasons: the joyful closeness and bonding with your baby, the cost savings, and the health benefits for both mother and baby.

Every woman’s journey to motherhood is different, but one of the first decisions a new mom makes is how to feed her child. Here, you’ll find facts about breastfeeding and get practical tips on how to make breastfeeding work for you while getting the support you need.

Q:        Why should I breastfeed?

A:        Breastfeeding is normal and healthy for infants and moms. Breastmilk has hormones and disease-fighting cells called antibodies that help protect infants from germs and illness. This protection is unique and changes to meet your baby’s needs. Some reasons to breastfeed are:

• Breastfeeding offers essential nutrients and a nutritionally balanced meal
• Breastmilk is easy to digest.
• Breastmilk fights disease

Q:        How long should I breastfeed?

A:        The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least 12 months, and for as long as both the mother and baby would like. Most infants should drink only breastmilk for the first six months.

Q:        Does my baby need cereal or water?

A:        Until your baby is 6 months old, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends feeding your baby breastmilk only. Giving your baby cereal may cause your baby to not want as much breastmilk. This will decrease your milk supply. You can slowly introduce other foods starting around 6 months of age.

Q:        Does my baby need more vitamin D?

A:        Most likely, yes. Vitamin D is needed to build strong bones. All infants and children should get at least 400 International Units (IU) of vitamin D each day. To meet this need, your child’s doctor may recommend that you give your baby a vitamin D supplement of 400 IU each day.

Q:        Is it okay for my baby to use a pacifier?

A:        If you want to try it, it is best to wait until your baby is at least 3 or 4 weeks old to introduce a pacifier. This allows your baby time to learn how to latch well on the breast and get enough milk.

Once your baby is breastfeeding well, you should use the pacifier when putting your infant to bed to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Q:        Is it safe to smoke, drink, or use drugs?

A:        If you smoke, the best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is to quit as soon as possible. If you can’t quit, it is still better to breastfeed because it may protect your baby from respiratory problems and SIDS. Be sure to smoke away from your baby, and change your clothes to keep your baby away from the chemicals smoking leaves behind. Ask a doctor or nurse for help quitting smoking!

You should avoid alcohol in large amounts. An occasional drink is fine, but the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting two hours or more before nursing. You also can pump milk before you drink to feed your baby later.

It is not safe for you to use an illegal drug. Drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and PCP can harm your baby. Some reported side effects in babies include seizures, vomiting, poor feeding, and tremors.

Q:        Can I take medicines if I am breastfeeding?

A:        Most likely. Almost all medicines pass into your milk in small amounts. Some have no effect on the baby and can be used while breastfeeding. Always talk to your doctor or pharmacist about medicines you are using and ask before you start using new medicines. This includes prescription and over the-counter drugs, vitamins, and dietary or herbal.

For some women, stopping a medicine can be more dangerous than the effects it will have on the breastfed baby.

Q:        Do I still need birth control if I am breastfeeding?

A:        Yes. Breastfeeding is not a sure way to prevent pregnancy, even though it can delay the return of normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. Talk to your doctor or nurse about birth control choices that are okay to use while breastfeeding.

Q:        Does my breastfed baby need vaccines?

A:        Yes. Vaccines are very important to your baby’s health. Breastfeeding may also help your baby respond better to certain immunizations, giving him or her more protection. Follow the schedule your doctor gives you. If you miss any vaccines, check with the doctor about getting your baby back on track as soon as possible.

Source: