Does Your Partner Consider You Attractive?

Many married people fell in love at first-sight with their partners and then other things fell in place that culminated in wedlock. However, many of such couples tend to lose the charm that attracted their partners to them in the beginning.

 

I have argued severally that love at first-sight began with the very first couple on earth - Adam and Eve.

 

To create the woman, the first man was put to sleep and the woman was formed out of his ribs. When he woke up from the sleep, did he reject or run away from the woman that was presented to him?

 

Of course no! It was love at first sight! The simple reason for this was the charm they both exuded.

 

They were both charming and attractive and there was a compelling attraction, beauty far beyond any other consideration. However, they did not lose this charm and lived many years together.

 

The question to married people today is: why do we lose our charm after marriage? Why do we fail to make our partners to continually crave for the sparks they saw in the beginning? 

·        No matter the job you do, always freshen up. Use perfume or deodorants if you have body odour.

·        Look good and presentable.

·        Shave those beards and cut those nails.

·        Untidiness is not a sign of humility.

·        Check your weight, eating habits, and other things that might put off your partner.

 

If your spouse dislikes your appearance, he/she will despise your presence. It is extremely dangerous for your other-half to be uncomfortable in your presence.

 

Humbly ask your partner to give you a list of what they wish you correct in your appearance and personality.

 

Your partner must be confident with you around. If you are a woman, note that if your dressing and appearance is a reflection of whom you belong to or represent. Don't misrepresent your husband or wife in public.

 

This is why couples are proud to show off their partners at ceremonies and social gatherings and they sometimes tell their partners to change their attires to conform to their taste or expectation.

 

No matter how long you may have been married or how old you are, make yourself attractive and charming to your partner. This is important because if a person runs away from one thing, he or she finds comfort in another and clings to it.

 

Don't be repulsive to your wife or husband. Don’t drive your beloved away! Do all you can now to refine your appearance to put a fresh spark into your marriage. 

Be attractive!

 

“We are Incompatible…” (Resolving Marriage Issues)

 

A popular adage says, “Love is blind”. Yes, this might be true. Love may be blind; but (marital) life isn't! The marriage setting is a place for reality. It comes with complexities and it is filled with tales of the unexpected.  

Note that automatic and inevitable stages of change emerge within the marriage union because when two people come from extremely different backgrounds, there are bound to be compulsory re-adjustments of values, character, and expectations. The ability and willingness to make these adjustments even as the couple remains sweet and loving will determine the success of the marriage. 

When couples get married, they necessarily come from two entirely different families. And even though we seek to marry partners we are compatible with, it is very unlikely that you find someone with no differences at all. 

Some people get married to those whose stardom, opulence, affluence and or beauty infatuated them, yet they do not share the same beliefs and values.  Some are forced to wrongly marry spouses, to cement or sustain family ties, even when the couple not compatible.

 So how would such marriages work; how would they resolve their differences?

If you perhaps suddenly realize that your spouse is not who (or what) you bargained for, do you just run away or give up? Or do you just fold your arms and conclude that whatever will be, will be? No!

 According to John Fischer, “The success of marriage comes not in finding 'the right' person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married!” This is very crucial.

 As married person, you must realize that when you focus on your spouse's weaknesses, you would end up weakening your marriage relationship. You must be determined to blend your differences rather than forcing your partner to become like you.

 It is important to note that men and women think differently. Women are usually moved by feelings or intuition while men focus on depths of issues. There is therefore bound to be differences in the way husbands and wives act or react to things.

 No matter how bad your beginning may be or how incompatible you are, you can turn things around and become successful lovers. Indeed, “What counts in making a marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility”

 Understanding, compromise and acceptance will help you overcome your differences. This can be achieved firstly through communication and sharing information with your spouse. 

·        What is it that makes your partner tick?

·        What loving thing can you do to make your partner react and relate with you positively? 

What are the things your partner will responds to? These could involve:

·        Spending time together

·        Helping at home and other personal tasks

·        Giving each other gifts

·        And verbal appreciation 

        

Another strong way to handle incompatibility is that you must realize that, loving your partner is a choice. You have to develop the will to love your partner and communicate this to them.

 Communication enhances change. It opens a person up for correction, education and direction. It enables you to carry your spouse along and get her (or him) to believe in your values and goals. 

Communicating with your partner will enable you to candidly and honestly resolve issues, which will definitely emerge.

 As a couple, you need to patiently take time to identify such issues or problems, and resolve them promptly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIVORCE CASE: "My Husband Feels I am Am Burden..."

A couple from Kogi State living in Mararaba, Nasarawa state have set for the dissolution of their five year-old marriage.

Sadinatu Adamu, married to Yakubu Abdulmajid, approached the Upper Area Court in Mararaba on Thursday that her husband perceives her a burden on him.

Mrs Adamu in her divorce petition accused Abdulmajid of battery and maltreatment.

“My marriage brought me no peace and happiness.

“I married Abdulmajid in April, 2017 according to Islamic Laws and customs of Ankpa in Kogi and we have two children.

“He beats and humiliates me at the slightest provocation. I cannot take any longer. I am afraid that one day he’ll kill me.

“He refers to me as a burden,” she told the court.

She alleged that he flogs her with sticks and his waist belt.

“I told my husband’s family, but they did not get him to change rather, he threatened to kill me,” she said.

The petitioner pleaded with the court to dissolve the marriage and to compel the respondent to allow her move her remaining belongings from his house.

The respondent, who was present in court, did not object to the allegations levelled against him.

The judge, Mohammed Jibril, however, adjourned the case until Dec. 7 for ruling or consideration of settlement

NAN

"I Don't Control My Husband.."

Popular comedienne, Anita Asuoha, aka Real Warri Pikin, has opened up on the challenges she faces being a public figure.

Real Warri Pikin and husband, Ikechukwu

She disclosed that people often insinuate that she controls her husband because of the support he gives her.

Speaking with Saturday Beats, Anita said, “They say I am controlling Ikechukwu. They should leave my husband for me. Once a marriage is happy, people will say the husband is a ‘mumu’ (fool), and that the woman is controlling the husband. I hear that a lot of times.”

Noting that her husband and children completely support her brand, she said, “My husband and my children support me a hundred per cent. If my husband does not support me, I would not grow. Seeing that it is what makes me happy, he supports me.”

Regarding those who give her unsolicited advice about her marriage, she said, “If the person is older, I would just say ‘thank you’. But, I would go ahead to do whatever I want to do that I know is right. But if they are younger, I might insult them. If a man wants to be part of his children’s life, let him. It mustn’t be the woman’s responsibility alone.”

The comedienne, who made a social media post during the week referring to some married women as single mothers, emphasised what she meant. “Many married women are single mothers because they are left to take care of the children alone with little or no support from their husbands,” she said.

Proffering suggestions on how women can get their husbands to help them, she said, “Women should stop being enablers. If your husband does not support you with chores and childcare, or if he used to support you and stopped, especially if the two of you are both working, you need to communicate with him about it. Two people are working but only one person comes back to do the chores; that is wickedness. If you are a housewife, that is an entirely different situation.”