Can Sleep Affect My Husband’s Fertility?

“Can sleep or the lack of it affect my husband’s fertility?” That was the question a newly wedded wife asked her counselor. And I guess it is the same question bothering many couples. And answer to the question is a big YES! 

 

Not sleeping well, too little or too much can indeed affect a man's ability to impregnate his wife. This is the findings of latest research.

The "sweet spot" appears to be 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, said study author Lauren Wise, a professor of epidemiology at Boston University School of Public Health.

Among the 790 couples the researchers followed, "we found both short and long sleep duration - less than 6 hours or 9 or more per night - were associated with a reduced probability of pregnancy," Wise declared.

Using 8 hours of sleep as the reference point, men who slept less than 6 or more than 9 hours a night "had a 42 percent reduced probability of conception in any given month," she added.

The main explanation is most likely hormonal, Wise said. Fertility experts know that testosterone is crucial for reproduction and the majority of daily testosterone release in men occurs during sleep, she explained.

Total sleep time, in turn, has been positively linked with testosterone levels in several studies, she added.

All of the couples in the study were trying to conceive, and they had been trying for no more than six menstrual cycles. The couples answered questions about sleep patterns and whether they had trouble sleeping. Those men who had trouble sleeping more than half the time were also less likely to impregnate their partner than those who didn't, the researchers found.

While the study found only an association between sleep and fertility, "it can't prove cause and effect," Wise said. 

But the link held up even after she took into account both the men's and women's ages, their body mass index, their frequency of intercourse, and other factors known to affect fertility. More research is needed, Wise noted.

"It is possible that poor sleep duration could contribute to an unhealthy lifestyle, decreased libido, a decrease in sex, but we tried to control for all those factors," she said.

The finding is welcome news to Dr. Peter Schlegel, vice president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

"There is very little data about how men's sleep may affect fertility," he said. "We know any stress can affect fertility for both women and men. This study strongly suggests that for men, aiming for the 7 to [less than] 9 hours of sleep helps to optimize their fertility and their chances of contributing to a pregnancy."

Based on this new research, doctors counseling couples should talk about how much sleep the men are getting, Schlegel said. As for women and sleep, "we don't know for sure," he said.

Other research suggests that eating more fruits and vegetables yields better production of sperm than meats and fats, said Schlegel, who is chair of urology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City. Men who are at a healthy weight generally have better fertility, too.

One limitation of the study, Schlegel said, is that the researchers did not measure sperm counts. "But they looked at time to pregnancy," he said, and "most would say the chance of a pregnancy occurring is probably the best measure."

The findings were to be presented Wednesday at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine's annual meeting, in Salt Lake City. Research presented at medical meetings is considered preliminary until it is published in a peer-reviewed medical journal.

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6 Ways To Get Closer To Your Spouse When Work Interfere With Your Marriage

A wonderful holiday period has just past, and another is coming around. Yes, this should be a time when couples spend time together, but unfortunately, finding time to enjoy moments and seasons as a family is usually the problem.

This is true because so many things are demanding for our time. From football matches to other games; from homework and class projects to school plays, church programmes; and on top of the everyday chores and to-do lists at work, people tend to get and feel distant from their spouses – because they are pulled in a million different directions.

For married people, this is certainly cause problems. This leads to loads of worldly pressures and anxiety.  

When your holiday and other schedules, which seem to be dominated by the demands of parenting, stretch our marriages and spiritual lives, it’s time to take a closer look. Yes, it is a problem; but it’s not one without a solution. 

Here are six things to consider to fine tune your life, for the sake of your marriage and to have a sound spiritual life and good career.

1.         Sometimes, it's okay to say no:

Most of us extend ourselves beyond capacity. That’s because it can be hard to say no. Often our hearts are in the right place. We are doing good things. But sometimes we need to make sure we are saying yes to only the things that are truly important, and declining on the things that are ultimately inconsequential. 

This could also mean saying no to your children. You obviously can’t spend your days visiting every playground in town just because your holidaying kids want to do so.

2.         Prioritize and guard dinner time:

There should be a time each day in the life of your family that is sacred. For many, late sports practices or games, hectic work travel schedules and more can keep this from becoming consistent. But, there’s not a much better way for a family to grow closer together than to have the consistency of breaking bread together around the same dinner table.

3.         Make Date Night important:

To remain connected to your spouse, date night has to be a priority. This can be easier said than done. It doesn't happen near enough in our house. But, if you are able to get out of the house together, it’s a beautiful time of reconnecting with each other. 

It enables a couple to see each other as husband and wife, not the roles we play as dad and mom the rest of the time.

4.         Keep Conversations alive:

Any growing relationship has to be watered, and there’s no better nourishment than conversation. 

Interpersonal relationships are built by communication, same as marriage. When we lack communication, it’s hard for us to truly know each other. Spend time daily conversing with your spouse and your children, and with God.

5.         In Marriage, compromise is King:

If the rule in your house is “it’s my way, or the highway,” then you might need to hitchhike your way to a better plan. 

You can’t always do what YOU want to do. This means, you have to take your daughter to her friends’ birthday parties when you would rather be watching football. 

For the wife, it means she occasionally watches football when she’d rather watch a soap opera. And for the kids, it means they have to go home early from the park so their baby brother can take a nap. 

Compromise isn’t a bad word; it’s mandatory in a happy home!

6.         Don’t be fixated; unplug:

We are so connected to the world around us, and this easily gets us disconnected from the home we live in. 

We are constantly checking our phones for new emails, updated news headlines and sports scores. This certainly doesn’t bring us closer to God and our spouse. 

What we read today on Facebook or Twitter, or see on Instagram or Pinterest, isn’t going to drastically change our lives for the better. Every minute you spend playing games online is a minute you could pour into your spouse or kids. 

We need to regularly force ourselves to disconnect from the electronic devices, and connect with our families instead.

There’s no doubt that family problems, busy schedules and everyday concerns can pull you away from God and your spouse. Don’t let the hectic nature of life – especially your work schedules - lead you to burnout, both at home and at work!

Adapted form Brent Rinehart ‘s

“I don’t Love My Spouse Anymore“

Sometimes, some couples just seem to get to a point where they fall out of love with their partners. But could this really happen? Could we really just wake up and find ourselves “falling out of love” with the person we vowed to love forever?

A lot of couples who fall out of love somehow can’t really tell the particular reasons that cause their feelings for their spouse to wane. But does falling out of love just happen gradually without us knowing?

One of the commonest things that kill love in marriage is when couples wrongly make the tasks of everyday living their priority – instead of nurturing their love for one another.

The Key to Staying in Love:

So how can you cultivate a loving relationship with your spouse that will stand the test of time? What are the steps to building a love that lasts?

Take your focus off of how much you want to be loved by your spouse. 

A common trait among some women is the obsession with longing to feel loved. But this makes a person to become more preoccupied with self-satisfaction than with building a happy relationship. And this surely undermines the health of your marriage.

You may be surprised to learn the secret to loving your spouse also lies in learning to love God sincerely. This is true because when your love for God is genuine, He gives you His supernatural ability to love others selflessly, especially your spouse.

Learning to love God greatly teaches us to love our partners too. For instance, the all-out love which Jesus talks about is the best way to grow intimacy.

He said you are to love God: with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, all your strength. It holds nothing back. And it involves every part of your being--your emotions, your inner self, and your thoughts. This kind of love seeks to grow closer to God and know Him intimately.

That’s how you fall more and more in love with someone--by getting to know them.

Growing more deeply in love with your spouse requires spending time with them. And this calls for more devotion, open communication, romance, sex, selflessness and deeper commitment to make your marriage grow.

Adapted from RhondaStoppe

5 Unfailing Truths That Can Completely Save Your Marriage

There are countless homes and marriages experiencing one crisis or the other and it is as if, as a woman once asked me, “Can’t marriages ever be without problem?”

As strange as it may seem, the everyday couples we find today are seemingly in two categories – those in marital crisis; and those about to get into crisis. In fact marital struggles are everywhere and they are not unique to certain people.

But does it mean there can never be joy in marriage? Can marriages be immune from crisis or how can they be salvaged?

Here are five proven truths that save marriage:

1.         Your spouse does not have the capacity to meet all your emotional needs:

The surest way to court disaster in marriage is for a wife to expect her husband to be the all-in-all is a formula for disaster. 

A lot of women marry with the intent of shifting the burden of life and living onto their husbands. Your spouse is not an expect route to challenges of life.

Do your spouse a favor and look to God to be your "spiritual husband" and take some of that load of his shoulders. This will take a tremendous load of expectation off of him and it will help you be a confident, capable wife who can get through whatever life and marriage brings your way. 

2.         Marriage is not only about happiness:

I am sure you married because you believed your partner would make you happier than if you remained single. This is basic assumption many people enter into marriage with. 

But God's original intention for marriage is more about sacrifice than making you happy. Marriage is a place where daily practice dying to self. It is a theatre of sacrifice and compromise. It is a field in which we can practice love, even when we don't feel like it. 

Happiness is not a result of how someone else treats you. Your level of contentment is a choice that must be made by you or a heart condition that must be altered. 

Marriage is the training ground for sublime and total love and self-effacing character. And the best person to teach you how to love another unconditionally is the partner you are living with in very close quarters.

3.         Disappointment is inevitable because we're all incomplete and not perfect

This is one of the most realistic perspectives to marriage. Nobody can essentially make you complete or perfect. Only God can fix us. It is beyond a new life, a new wife or a new perspective; and not even a new you. 

Imperfections will always remain in us. We would keep hurting and disappointing one another in marriage because with all the new, there's still the same old broken you. 

Just as your spouse has disappointed you, you, too, have disappointed your spouse. It goes both ways. That's why grace is the glue that holds the two of you together. 

Once you realize you are just as much an imperfect fellow or sinner as your spouse, you will extend grace toward him or her more easily. 

4.         Divorce is not always a solution. The grass is NOT greener on the other side:

We tend to look at other situations that are less familiar to us and imagine the best. I am sure you too would have looked at your fiancé years ago and imagined the best possible scenario with him. Then reality happened. 

Your spouse has flaws. So does the nice-looking man or woman across the street or the recently divorced woman in your office or the very capable single mom or dad you met in the school parking lot. 

Doesn't it make sense to continue to invest in the person you've invested years in than to start all over with someone else's issues, baggage, past, and problems?

5.         Integrity always pays off:

Are you a person of your word? Did you say "forever"? Did you promise commitment even in sickness and in health? Alzheimer’s and dementia are a sickness. So is addiction. 

So, even if your spouse doesn't remember you or isn't behaving the "same" as when you married, or is truly trying to stop a destructive behavior but can't, you still made a promise. 

Even if the two of you have grown apart, you still made a commitment. Even if your heart doesn't feel the same you still made a vow before God and witnesses to be in this "'till death do us part." (And that doesn't mean "death" of your feelings.) 

I'm so glad God doesn't drop us when we begin acting differently than when we first committed to him. Grace is undeserved favor. And God expects us to show it to others in the same degree it has been measured out to us.

Of course, there are certain behaviors that are absolutely unacceptable in marriage, such as abuse and sexual unfaithfulness. Some of the most powerful marital testimonies I've seen and heard have been those who started to walk away because of "irreconcilable differences" but then saw the God of reconciliation bring them back together....once they extended grace and love of another kind (and in many cases when counseling and a repentant heart helped reverse some destructive behavior).

Inasmuch as it depends on you, are you willing to forgive, extend grace, and do what is necessary for the marriage to work? God always honors the man or woman "who keeps his word whatever the cost". And I know, my friend; sometimes it hurts.

Marriage disappoints at times, just like any relationship. But God never disappoints. Put your hope in him - and his promises - and see what he can pull you through.

And if your marriage is one that couldn't be saved - or you are dealing with behaviors that are destructive to the marriage, or your spouse was not committed to making it work as you had hoped - God can still redeem the pieces of your life and turn your story into something beautiful.

Adapted from Cindi McMenamin 

Victim Gives Bill Cosby A ‘Present’ After He Allegedly Raped Her

Andrea Constand told a detective in 2005 that she gave Bill Cosby a sweater as a present during months after she claimed the comedian sexually assaulted her.

Katharine Hart, a former detective for the Montgomery County District Attorney’s Office, testified at a preliminary hearing in the criminal case against Cosby in court on Tuesday. A judge ruled that the sexual assault case against Cosby will move forward. If convicted, the 78-year-old comedian could face as much as 10 years in prison.

Constand claims that Cosby sexually assaulted her inside his Philadelphia home in January 2004. A year later, she was interviewed by Hart where she laid out what she said happened between her and Cosby. (Hart read mostly from a transcript in court that Constand reviewed and edited following the interview.)

After testifying for the prosecution, Hart was cross-examined by Cosby’s attorney, Brian McMonagle. His strategy is simple: discredit Constand by questioning her behavior after the alleged rape.

“Is it the case that [Constand] told you she brought her family to his show, and brought him a present, a sweater?” McMonagle asked Hart as he directed her to that portion of Constand’s transcript.

“Yes,” Hart replied.

McMonagle then moved to undercut Constand by contrasting her account of what happened immediately prior to the alleged assault that she first gave to police in Canada before she spoke to American authorities.

Constand, who was living in Toronto when she first reported Cosby to police in January 2005, told them that Cosby had “taken her out to dinner and out in [Philadelphia’s] Chinatown,” according to a police report read in court. Constand later told Hart, according to the transcript, that she had driven herself to Cosby’s home.

The prosecution objected to McMonagle’s questions as being irrelevant to whether or not Constand was assaulted.

No matter how they got to his home, Constand recalled telling Cosby she did not feel well soon after they arrived. Constand said that’s when Cosby briefly left the room they were in and returned with blue pills, which he said were “herbal” and would “make you feel good, make you relax.”

“I said to him that I trust him,” Constand said, according to Hart, and she swallowed the pills. Cosby insisted she try the wine he’d poured for her, Constand said, though she’d declined because she said had not eaten.

“OK, you can drink it or you can nurse it,” Cosby told her, according to the interview transcript.

Constand told detectives that she began to feel dizzy and afraid soon after ingesting the pills.

“I said to him ‘I can’t even see, Mr. Cosby,” Hart recounted Constand as saying.

“I’m going to lay you down on the couch and let you relax,” Cosby said, according to the interview.

Constand told Hart she lay on the couch, unable to move or open her eyes.

“I wasn’t aware of any sounds. I don’t know where Mr. Cosby went,” Hart said Constand recalled.

Then Constand said she was very much aware of Cosby when he put his hands on her breasts and his fingers inside her vagina. Constand told Hart that Cosby lay behind her on the couch and reached into her pants from behind. Constand said Cosby took her right hand and placed on his penis, which was erect. 

Constand says she fell asleep and found her shirt pulled up and her bra backwards when she woke up at 4 a.m.

“The snap was in the front not the back — I couldn’t have done that myself if I wanted to,” Constand said, according to Hart. Cosby then gave Constand her a mixed-berry muffin and tea before she left, she recalled.

McMonagle said he objected to Hart’s testimony in its entirety, arguing it was hearsay and that the accuser herself, Constand, should be required to appear before the court and “answer questions like: ‘Why did you wait so long to report?’”

Judge Elizabeth A. McHugh agreed with the prosecution that she could not consider questions of credibility during the preliminary hearing and dismissed McMonagle’s attempt to compel Constand to take the stand on Tuesday morning.

Constand met Cosby at Temple University, where she was the director of the women’s basketball team and he was a prominent booster for the university. 

Following Constand’s report to authorities in 2005, Montgomery County D.A. Bruce Castor said he found insufficient evidence to corroborate her story and indict Cosby. Ten years later, however, D.A. Kevin Steele reopened the case and indicted Cosby thanks in part to his deposition in a civil trial brought by Constand. 

In the deposition, Cosby admitted giving other women quaaludes before sex. (Cosby said this sex was consensual; several dozen women have said it was not.) A judge unsealed the transcript said last year because Cosby had “voluntarily narrowed the zone of privacy” he was entitled by by donning “the mantle of public moralist,” the judge wrote. Constand and Cosby settled out of court for an undisclosed sum of money. 

Source:

7 Words That Will Change Your Marriage

A lot of folks would go to any length to tend to their look and outward appearance. We spend billions each year on our appearance. Gym memberships, dieting programs that may or may not work, new clothes and more, occupy our minds. Yes, it is nice that care how we look. But, what do our marriages look like?

More importantly, where does our marital health rank on the list of To-Do’s? Instead of our bodies and physical appearance being top priorities, what if we put that focus on our marriages instead?

The hardest part of parenting, that no one seems to want to warn you about, is the strain children have on your marriage. Children can come between you and your spouse.

As the years go by, the children naturally become our focus, making it easy to lose sight of each other. We don’t take the time or energy necessary to stay connected.

But, this trend can be stopped if you give your marriage a “check up.” I believe there are seven words that, if applied to our marriages, have the power to make this year the best year we have ever experienced as a couple.

1.         Initiate: Remember the courtship? Make an effort to woo your spouse all over again. So many marriages fall apart because people just stop trying.

2.         Prioritize: What is your top priority? It’s where you devote the majority of your time or energy. Turn off the television and put down your iPhone. Your email and updating your Facebook status can wait.

3.         Communicate: In a successful marriage, you have to fight the urge to sweep things under the rug. Don’t allow things to fester. Instead, keep an open line of communication.

When we have “sounding boards” who aren’t our spouses, sure, we might feel a little better, but we are doing nothing to actually resolve situations or improve our relationship.

4.         Listen: The most important part of communicating doesn’t involve speaking; it’s listening. Your spouse wants to be heard.

How can you know what he or she is feeling if you don’t take the time to listen. All too often, many of us are too quick to interject before the person is even finished speaking.

5.         Forgive: Don’t hold onto things. You only harm yourself. When your spouse does something, refer to #3 and #4. Then, let it go. Forgive them and move on.

6.         Love: Without love, there is no marriage. And, that’s why we must keep the spark alive.

This year, set aside more time to date your spouse. And, when you are out, try your best to make sure the kids or grandkids aren’t the primary topic of conversation. Spoil your spouse occasionally.

7.         Pray: It has been said that a successful marriage consists of three people: husband, wife and God. Involve Him more, even in the so-called “little things.”

Let’s resolve together to focus on our relationships more than ourselves this year, and watch how God will bless the efforts.

I am sure there are other words you would add to this list!

Adapted from Brent Rinehart’s

5 Things Not To Do To Keep Your Marriage Happy

Marriage essentially brings two different people together and fuses them as one. And because many people in marriages are people with different backgrounds and upbringings, experiences and expectations, frictions and frustrations sometimes occur.

Hardly would we find a marriage not filled with repentance and apologies along with deep intimacy and companionship, because misunderstandings and feelings of being hurt, bitter, and sometimes anger are necessary baggage of marriage.

Indeed, many couples go through tough times in marriage; but rather than destroy them, such times helped them to discover themselves and made the get more committed to each other.

In the midst of everything, they were able to pull through, essentially because they avoided five things that kill happiness in marriage.

Here are five things not to do to keep your marriage happy: 

1.         Don’t stop praying for your spouse

We only pray for those we wish well. Even when we’re hurt, we don’t stop praying for the one we want to succeed.

Praying for your partner affirms your commitment to them and your belief that together you can forge ahead as a team. It’s in the praying that power is released.

Find creative ways to pray for your spouse and his/her career.

2.         Don’t bear grudges

A grudge is just persistent resentment towards a person due to pain or hurt. And, that grudge can grow and fester until it bleeds even more hurt into a marriage.

Yes you may be the one who is right and offended. But it is better to be one and together with your partner than being right.

3.         Don’t deny your partner sex

Don’t say no to the pursuit of making love in your marriage. Making love together is about a whole lot more than physical intimacy, but physical intimacy is the coming together, the coupling, the connecting. 

You can “make love” by making a cup of tea for your spouse, but making a cup of tea and creating space to physically connect results in different emotions, a different level of uniting.

Making love is like a gift you give to your spouse. And we know that when we give a physical gift, we give it to our partners for them to use as they please.

The reason why many spouses, especially wives withhold sex is perhaps because they are still afraid their husbands will misuse their willingness, and make them feel used. This thinking is wrong in a marriage union.

4.         Don’t take the leadership or feelings of your spouse for granted

Even when we feel like our spouses are lacking, we shouldn’t underestimate the innate abilities God has deposited in them.

If your spouse chooses to follow a direction you are not primed for, hear him/her out. Sometimes, submit to the leadership of your partner.

If you find yourself feeling like you can’t trust your spouse’s decisions, because you feel he or she has misled you in the past or you don’t believe he or she is not just up to it, then I’d suggest you back to point number one: don’t stop praying.

5.         Don’t kill your home with negative talk

We can speak life over our spouses, not calling out their flaws, frustrations, and weaknesses, but calling out the gifts and the goodness that God has deposited within them.

We can speak hope and life, goodness and faith over them instead of death, darkness, and destruction.

Rather than complain, you could say something like, “You always remember to return our movies or feed the fish; you have such a gift of responsibility.”  

When you compliment spouse’s strengths, rather than sing about their shortcomings, it empowers and encourages them, and makes them feel supported.

Adapted from Holly Mthethwa’s  

What Does Water Do To You And Your Family?

There is a strong connection between the human body and water. Water is so basic to the human body that the well-being of your life and that of your spouse and family may well depend on it

·        Did you water makes one feel good?

·        Did you know drinking water brings relieve if you have a craving, a headache, are constipated, hungry, etc.

·        Did you know that water compliments a clear, youthful skin

·        Did you know that actually your brain is 90% water?

·        Did you know your body is about 70% water? The majority of your blood and every cell in your body are composed of water.

Therefore, you need water to function properly. Water is so beneficial, so easy to use, yet so easily overlooked.

But water isn't just water. You need quality water such as Purh2o Natural Spring Water to get the best benefits in drinking water! And who says your family doesn’t deserve the best?

Indeed, in the world of drinks and drinking, water can be your can be your drink of choice!

10 Reasons You And Your Family Should Drink More Water

Water is so basic to the human body and its well-being. It is so beneficial, so easy, and so free. But have you considered why you need more of water?

Your life and that of your spouse, kids and family is precious and you need quality water to ensure your health and body function properly. Indeed, quality drinking water such as Purh2o Natural Spring Water can be your drink of choice! 

Here are Top 10 Benefits of Drinking Water:

1.         It Increases Energy & Relieves Fatigue:

Since your brain is mostly water, drinking it helps you think, focus and concentrate better and be more alert. As an added bonus, your energy levels are also boosted and top-notch!

2.         It Promotes Weight Loss:

Water removes by-products of fat, reduces eating intake (by filling up your tummy if consumed prior to meals), reduces hunger (hello natural appetite suppressant!), raises your metabolism and has zero calories!

3.         Flushes Out Toxins:

Water gets rid of waste through sweat and urination which reduces the risk of kidney stones and UTI's (urinary tract infections). Wouldn't you rather be healthy?

4.         It Improves Skin Complexion:

Water moisturizes and lubricates your skin, keeps it fresh, soft, glowing and smooth. It gets rid of wrinkles. It's the best anti-aging treatment around! A partner you can trust!

5.         It Maintains Regularity:

Water aids in digestion as water is essential to digest your food and prevents constipation.

6.         It Boosts Immune System:

A water guzzler is less likely to get sick. And who wouldn't rather feel healthy the majority of the time? Drinking plenty of water helps your system to fight common cold, flu, cancer and other ailments like heart attacks.

7.         It Natural Headache Remedy:

Water helps relieve and prevent headaches (migraines & back pains too!) which are commonly caused by dehydration.

8.         It Prevents Cramps & Sprains:

Proper hydration helps keep joints lubricated and muscles more elastic so joint pain is less likely. This is good for the elderly too.

9.         It Puts You in a Good Happy Mood:

 When the body is functioning at its best, you will feel great and be happy!

10.       Save Money!

Water is FREE! Even if you choose bottled/filtered water, it's STILL cheaper than that high sugar and fat-filled latte!

Cheers to your good health! Welcome good living!