It true
that the wife or (the woman) is the subject of marriage and it was designed for
her and to cater to her.
But it is
equally true that it takes two people to make a marriage and the husband has
his needs and aspiration. A man don’t just marry for the sake of having a woman
beside (or behind him as they say); but he has personal desires that necessary
for a marriage to thrive and be enjoyable.
Here are 7 of the greatest needs of
a husband.
1. Respect:
This is number one and it would
always be number one.
Husband may use different words to
describe it, but this is what they really want!
If the man must assume his leadership
of the home, respect is essentially. Even the bible affirms this in Ephesians
5:33. It says,
“However, each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”.
God is not the author of confusion.
If anybody would disrespect a man, it shouldn’t be his wife. This is true
because the man is wired to demand respect and honour. This is why most men feel
the internal pressure to excel.
And where the man needs to feel to be
successful the most is at home. He may be a slave outside, but he need to feel
the king in him at home. Sadly, a lot of women do not realize this:
- If a man can’t feel that respect at home, he will find it somewhere else.
As a wife, if you want your husband
to love you completely, you must be ready to respect him unconditionally.
Wives need to perhaps make
themselves extremely “lovable” by showing respect to their man; because you
would be loved less when you aren’t at your “best”.
2. Admiration:
Wives may be the ones who perhaps
run after latest fashion trends; but men want to be desirable to their wives
both physically and in other ways too.
The man wants to feel he is strong
enough for you. He wants to sense he meets all your expectations in a man.
As a wife, if you are always
applauding and referring to the sexier man in the movies or the more
successful man in the world, you certainly make your man feel not admired.
For instance, if a family is going
through financial struggles and the wife complains about it all the time, what the
man hears from the wife’s complain is, “I’m not good enough.”
A man greatest assurance of fulfillment
comes from the wife. When men don’t sense this feeling, they often quit trying
or giving their best.
3. Peace
and Harmony:
A quiet home helps men to prepare
for the world; they want a place where they could relax and hide from the
stress outside.
This may seem funny and strange, men
want their wives to be their wives, and not their mother! Remember you grow up
to your mother!
This is crucial because nagging never
accomplishes what the wife hopes it will. Rather, it sends opposite
signals to the man. Yes, sometimes it could you what you wanted done, but it is
never with the heart or attitude you hoped to go with the action
Wives, let your home be a place of
peace and calmness. Someone once said, “The wife/mother is the thermostat of
the home”. If that’s true, how comfortable are you and your spouse living?
4. Commitment:
Men want commitment just as wives
do. They want to know they are number one with you. Men don’t want to see
their wife looking at other men or hear them commenting on how wonderful
another man may be.
Men don’t want to see their wives chatting more with
other men or spending more time in telephone conversations with other men.
Men want to know that their wife is faithful
only to them. Men may be macho; but they have petty and fragile egos too.
- Wives, does your husband know he is number one to you - that no man could ever take his place?
- How are you committed to your man? Do you show it?
5. Acceptance/Participation:
Wives, don’t
expect to change your husbands or make them change age-long hobbies. Rather, appreciate
their hobbies and interests, especially if they are not harmful habits.
You may not
know much about football or don’t like Man-United and Chelsea, but at least
know some of the rules and when to scream “it’s a goal!”
If you hubby is
going to be sitting at home and not the club or game centre to watch his game,
he would need someone to share in the emotions, and your man is more times hoping
that someone is you.
- Wives, are the biggest fan of your husband?
6. Leading
The Home:
Leading is not always as easy as
some wives see it, and a lot of men don’t just know how to take the lead.
But a good wife should allow her
husband to make some mistakes and not criticize him just because he can’t do
something as well as she can (and these things are indeed many!).
If your hubby washes your dishes,
don’t go behind and clean them because he didn’t wash them well.
If he takes the effort to fix the
bed, don’t go back to straighten it complaining “Haa, just a simple bed spread
can’t be spread?”
When a man notices he can’t compete with
the wife in an area, he readily quits trying.
A better way is to commend what he
does right, and he would try harder to please you. But if he is booed, they
would be no motivation to really do more or even to succeed.
- Ladies, are you allowing your husband to sense your satisfaction in his abilities to lead?
- Wives, are willing to let him lead? Are you willing to follow if he does?
7. An
emotional Release:
This seems to be the hardest!
Most men do not know how to function
in a highly emotional situation. So, when wives are upset, they panic. They move
into a “fixing” mode, which is usually counter-productive.
As a wife, when you are emotionally
upset, for whatever reason, and you know it isn’t your his fault, it’s helpful
if you can just let him know the two of you are okay, he didn’t necessarily do
anything wrong, it’s not his fault, and there is nothing he needs to do to fix
it.
- Wives, does your husband ever feel responsible for your emotions that are completely out of his control?
This list is just a personal
observation. Men, what would you add to the list?
