Sunday 27 December 2015

The Lie That Turned Moms Into ‘Murderers’



 

It started with an excuse for being late -a 10-year-old said a homeless man had hit him. Then his mother, two friends, and several teens allegedly retaliated with a deadly beating.

Three Philadelphia women will face a judge next week for the murder of a homeless man whom they allegedly attacked in the most savage manner imaginable, with the assistance of several children, because one woman’s son falsely accused the man of hitting him.

Video shot by a surveillance camera at a Sunoco in the north Philly neighborhood of Olney on April 7 shows a minivan pull into the gas station parking lot, where a group that police say included Aleathea Gillard, Shareena Joachim, and Kaisha Duggins, as well as three unnamed teenagers, attacked Robert Barnes just outside the door of the convenience store.

The three women and three juveniles have been in custody since they were arrested in April for the gang assault on Barnes, who remained in a coma until he died Nov. 25. The death was ruled a homicide by Alexander Balacki, chief medical investigator for Montgomery County, who said Barnes died of “complications from blunt impact to the head.”

Authorities say the vicious, sustained assault was prompted when Gillard’s 10-year-old son, who did not participate in the beating but competed with Barnes pumping gas for tips at the Sunoco, told his mother Barnes had hit him during an argument at the gas station.

It was later revealed that the boy had fabricated that assault to explain an injury he received falling from his bicycle—he had argued with Barnes earlier in the day but concocted the story as an excuse for coming home late.

The brutal attack ended when the woman seen in the video wielding a chair leg and who inflicted the most obvious damage, who police say is Gillard, retrieved a boy who had returned for a few more kicks. She pulls him to the waiting minivan and the group makes a very professional-looking getaway.

At the height of the brutality, the woman, allegedly Gillard, crouches over Barnes, who is cowering on the sidewalk, to directly and repeatedly strike him in the head with her salvaged furniture bludgeon. Her alleged accomplice Duggins, police say, beat Barnes with a hammer, the first blow from which toppled Barnes to the ground, while Joachim allegedly bungled her role in the ambush, accidentally pepper-spraying Gillard’s 13-year-old son (this can been in the video when the young man begins yelling and jumping around the parking lot).

The alleged assailants, many of whom were wearing clothes spattered with Barnes’s blood, were arrested after they took the boy to an emergency room for treatment.
Last June, Gillard’s 13-year-old son, her then-12-year-old daughter, and a 14-year-old male friend who participated in the attack pleaded guilty before a Family Court judge to charges of aggravated assault and conspiracy, in exchange for the DA’s dismissing attempted murder charges.

The DA’s office says homicide charges are now also probable for the teens but have not been formally filed. A source close to the investigation says those charges are likely to come in the next few days.

People who knew Barnes, including the monsignor at an area parish, say that what little the homeless man had he was always willing to share with others.

“We’re the same age for a month,” Barnes’s sister Diane told The Daily Beast. “I turned 51 Nov. 27, two days after Bobby died. He used to tell people I was his twin sister.” He would have been 52 this coming Monday.

“They just didn’t give a shit, these people, I mean, it’s obvious. The cameras were right in their view and they didn’t care.”

Diane Barnes learned her brother had been critically wounded when her stepbrother, a Philly cop, called her about the incident when he saw it reported on the news.

She recognized her brother in the video by the boots she had given him.

Barnes said her brother was still conscious when paramedics arrived. “He told the ambulance driver that he was just jumped by five black girls and beat with a hammer, so he knew what happened to him. And then when he was brought to the hospital that’s when he fell unconscious from bleeding on the brain. At that time they raced him into surgery and removed a great portion of his skull to alleviate the pressure, and of course when I went in to see him, I just lost it.”

Her brother had been on the streets on and off for two decades and was estranged from many family members due to his alcoholism, she said. He worked occasionally with his father as a roofer.

“There were times that he lived with my father, when he was alive in Olney… he would live with my father and do well and work with him, and not drink, but occasionally he would tell us all to go to hell and start drinking again… that’s what caused him to stay on the streets, ultimately, because there were no rules for him.”

Robert and Diane Barnes have a sister, Debbie, who lives in Connecticut, and a half-brother, Steven, who lives in Philadelphia. Diane said Debbie will be in town next week, and both will attend the Dec. 30 appearance in court for the three women accused of killing their brother. They want to keep the pressure up.

“I want this mother that did this, I want her to get the death penalty,” Diane Barnes said. “I really do, I just think it’s terrible what she did, she brought all those people down with her, she initiated it all. And you know, she went there equipped with everything she needed to do this. She knew my brother, she knew him well, they all knew my brother.

“When he drank he could be mouthy, but he was harmless,” she added. “He would never hurt anybody, he would never hurt a child, he just ran his mouth sometimes. I don’t know whether he said something they didn’t like, maybe he urinated on their property, he did a lot of that over there, you know. I don’t know... they only lived a block away. You could tell they went there with a lot of anger inside them.

“They just didn’t give a shit, these people, I mean, it’s obvious. The cameras were right in their view and they didn’t care.”

Barnes started an online fundraiser to help pay for the costs of her brother’s funeral. She said she hopes to raise extra money to give other homeless men the same gift that meant so much to her brother: boots.

“We’re going to work with Payless Shoes and purchase a ton of work boots and donate them to a homeless shelter,” she said.




4 Ways To Enjoy The Christmas And New Year Holiday As A Couple



 
The holidays can bring out such intense sides to people’s personalities. We gather to malls and store aisles to wrestle one-another like gladiators for deals. The shopping hustle and bustle continues for another six weeks, stretching over Christmas and finally to the New Year. 

For couples and for marriages, the rush, the expectations, the schedule and the buzz can really be stressful and capable of becoming explosive.  

Many people wish their spouse turned magically into Mr. or Mrs. Clause and have a solution to all of life’s issues and settle them once and for all during the yuletide. At least it is a time for celebrations!

Indeed, a lot of marriages and families struggle with the extremes these celebrations bring out of. But can have a great season in spite of the stress it brings. 

Here’s a few tips to help you have an enjoyable season as a couple:

1.         Listen to each other:
Whenever frustrations are bubbling near the surface, mentally slow-down and choose to engage in actively listening to each other. 

More often than not, the most frustrating part of a conflict is not that we see things differently, but that we feel un-heard and misunderstood.

If she’s buying too many presents, listen to her heart and find out why. If he’s want designer blazer, there is a reason. Listen to each other and search out each other’s motivations and heart behind the issues. 

Listening might actually help your spouse understand why they are doing certain things. 

2.         Remember you are partners - a team:
Commit to being more committed to your spouse than to your plans, expectations or yuletide dreams. 

Stop comparing your spouse or have desires you find in other people for Christmas or New Year holiday. You married a unique person who can only be who God made them to be! 

No matter how fascinating our yuletide wishes may be, they don’t measure to the value of our spouse and our relationship with them. 

This season holiday shouldn’t be a time to misplace your treasure by valuing plans over people and relationships, especially with your spouse.

3.         Plan together:
While we want to avoid putting plans above people, we can steer clear of unnecessary headaches by coming to an understanding and agreement about holiday plans. 

A husband may have his own expectations for the New Year season while the wife may have a completely different one. And it is so easy for the hustle and bustle to begin and before you know it, the calendar is full and no one knows how it got that way! 

The best way to go is to sit down and make a prioritized list of time and budget plans. 

Making plans well ahead helps you cut unnecessary costs, prevents accidental debit overcharges and keeps out disagreements over the Christmas spending. 

A simple counsel in the bible asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (Amos 3:3, NIV)

4.         Stay focused:
If we choose to celebrate Christmas as the birthday of Jesus, then HE should be the highest priority in how we budget our time, finances and Christmas activities. 

This simply means too your celebration and priority should reflect His love, joy and peace than: my spouse didn’t fix the house or clean the furniture; that the cookies turn out just perfect or that all my presents are wrapped to perfection.

Disappointments may come; but look for the good, look for the positives, look for the good of your family, and practice letting go of the little things.

Don’t let small disappointments - like the potluck dish that spills all over the back seat, like the cake got messed up or the family squabbles over who hosts Christmas. 

The Christmas season offers ample practice to overlook our disappointments and stay focused on providing joy for our partners and loved ones.

May your marriage shine bright with the love, joy and peace that come from knowing the One we truly celebrate!


Thursday 17 December 2015

My Wife Is The Secret Behind My Premier League Success – Jude Odion Ighalo



 
It is true that just having a wonderful job does not bring ultimate fulfillment. If your relationship is in turmoil, you would not have the heart or peace to enjoy the success or proceeds of your labour.

Having a stable marriage, especially to a loving spouse whom one cherishes, is one of the best tonics that propel people to become successful in their career. This is why having a great career and a wonderful marriage is perhaps one of the greatest dreams of many young people.

And you would not be to say Odion Ighalo is living his dream.

The Watford FC star has attributed his success in the ongoing English Premier League (EPL) to his wife, Sonia. He praised and acknowledged his wife’s role after scoring his eighth goal of the season in Watford's 3-2 victory over Aston Villa on Saturday November 28.
 
As the ball hit the inside of the net, Ighalo turned, with hands up and fingers pointed towards the heavens, in acknowledgement of the divine in his now familiar celebration style.

However, what the 26-year-old has never spoken about, until now, is the impact of a settled homestead as the reason for his success.

Related Story: Was it Marriage That Spoiled Osaze Odemwingie?

 

The striker told Goal that his marriage to beautiful Sonia, which clocked six years a few days ago, has made him a complete person and put him in a good state of mind.

The Nigeria forward and his wife have three children.

“I want to say that my marriage which marked six years recently has made me to be a complete man,” Ighalo said.

“My wife has been very crucial to my impressive career. She has been able to build a good home and she makes me and the children happy. She is everything to me.”






Wednesday 16 December 2015

The Threat of Office Relationships To Marriages

 
Relationships, especially marriages, require time and true commitment for it to thrive and for those involved to become fulfilled and get the best of it. This is akin to the commitment we show to our jobs or career.

And one of the ways to stay committed to your relationship is to fend off little, or perhaps seemingly insignificant but dangerous intrusions especially at the workplace.

The workplace is a potential setting for flirtatious advances from the opposite sex since colleagues tend to see themselves more often, perhaps than one’s partner, and amorous feelings could develop secretly in the heart of an admirer.

This is why a lot of organizations indeed prohibit office romance solely because it has the potential of putting their staff off balance. Perhaps this is why many such relationships are kept secret too.


But as a person who is committed to keeping your marriage safe, you must essentially guide against anything that would unnecessarily expose you to temptation or cause trouble for you and your partner. 

You may be striving to build a wonderful career; but you may not know the true intent of the next fellow in your team. Some may not be truly interested in their job, and are merely marking time. 

For some, the sole ambition is to get enough eating and drinking money to get along. For such people, the stakes are fairly low and would do anything to make their stay at that office worth the while. Don’t let anybody use you as an extra bonus! Don’t be the reason why that fellow’s job, whether full time or part time, becomes more interesting. 

It does not make sense if you are a great manager at work yet you can’t manage your relationship. Or don’t you think it is a waste of talent if you head a human resource department in a big organization yet you can’t keep your relationship at home on track?

Simple precautions would help keep you away from compromising situations that may potentially damage your relationship.

Remember that it is not just having a wonderful job that brings fulfillment. If your relationship is in turmoil, you would not have the heart or peace to enjoy the success or proceeds of your labour.




Having a great career and a wonderful relationship is perhaps one of the greatest dreams of many young people. But whilst working or having a career is essential in building ourselves and in providing the basic necessities of life for our families and loved ones, your work could be a potential threat to your relationship if the dynamics are not properly managed.

Monday 14 December 2015

Philippines – A land Where Divorce Is Banned!




With attacks raging everywhere against the marriage institution, with divorce rate almost competing with the number of those seeking jobs, it is amazing to hear that there is a nation where divorce is not tolerated.

But is the ban on divorce capable of making marriages better and enjoyable?

The legal “ban” on divorce definitely does not guarantee successful Filipino marriages and of course not everyone is happy. 

On the legislative front, we note that since the Family Code’s publication, that is from the Eighth to the Fifteenth Congress, and up to this day, separate bills were filed singing the same old song: we want a divorce law! 

Other anti-marriage bills have also been abundant. Several legal techniques to liberalize marital law have been forwarded. More exit mechanisms were proposed: a more liberal recognition of foreign divorce, the amplification / re-definition of legal separation, and the liberal legal definition of psychological incapacity.  

Since the dissolution of the bond is not a legal possibility, some couples have resorted to either an annulment of marriage or a judicial declaration of its nullity.  The former invalidates an otherwise valid marriage based on limited grounds while the latter is a proclamation that there was no valid marriage right from the start.  

Among the grounds established is the provision for declaration of nullity based on psychological incapacity of one or both of the spouses. This is the most widely-used ground. 

The Supreme Court has been consistent in stating that the invocation of psychological incapacity is not like divorce as in other jurisdictions, but we note that its very liberal consideration in some lower courts could be contrary to this. 

It even reached a point where it was described as the most liberal divorce law in the world after a judge made a nullity decision grounded on psychological incapacity and cited conjugal differences!

Sure, not every Filipino marriage is a happy marriage.  But there are provisions for a legal separation, with the marriage bond still intact. 

What divorce law supporters really want is to allow the possibility of remarriage. But won’t this completely change how Filipinos understand what marriage is all about?  Is it worth changing the rules for difficult marital situations, thus destroying the dream of what marriage is as a lifetime commitment? 

Isn't this what Pope Francis intimated when he recently told Filipino families that it is "important to dream in the family" and "beware of the new ideological colonisation that tries to destroy the family"?  He actually encouraged Filipinos to look beyond the difficulties that their families experience because they are the country's "greatest treasure", thereby worth protecting.  

As the debates ensue, we need to spend time reflecting on these words and think of what lies ahead.




The Secret Britain's Longest Married Couple




 
Over the years, a lot of people have wondered what the secret of the longevity Karam and Kartari Chand marriage is.

The couple, who are 110 and 103 respectively, are believed to be Britain's longest married couple.
The Bradford pair is celebrating their 90th wedding anniversary on Friday.

They tied the knot in India in 1925 during the British Raj and moved to England 40 years later.

And one of the secrets to the success of their marriage is that they never ever argue. If only couples could borrow this and learn from Karam and Kartari Chand.

Perhaps marriages would be better if we talk or argue less. But how is that possible in a world where we talk 10 times more than the world knew.

And it is said, that the way the average old school Indian women treat their husbands is worth copying. They don’t argue with their husbands.


Thursday 10 December 2015

A Father’s Special Moment – When David Beckham Was Replaced By His Son, Brooklyn At Old Trafford



 
One of the greatest joys of any parent is to see his child take after him or her and be good at it. For the Beckham’s, it was a dream come true as both father and son lived their dream.

During the second half of his Unicef Match for Children at Old Trafford, the former England captain made way for teenager Brooklyn before later coming back to play alongside him. What could be better than things?

David Beckham enjoyed a special moment on Saturday as he was substituted during the Unicef Match for Children - with his own son, Brooklyn, coming on to replace him.


The former England captain was leading the Great Britain & Ireland XI at Old Trafford as they beat a Rest of the World side 3-1 to help raise money for children worldwide.

The question in the minds on many of the Beckham faithful and sports followers is, “Is this the birth of a star or just another script from a fairy tale?”


The game indeed produced a touching moment in the second half as father made way for son - who was released by the Arsenal academy over the summer. Beckham later came back on to play alongside Brooklyn.

Teenager Charged With Defiling 2 Minors



16-year-old teenager, who allegedly defiled two minors, was on Monday December 7, docked before an Ikeja Magistrates’ Court in Lagos Nigeria. The accused, a student, who lives at Oke-Ira, Ogba, a suburb of Lagos, is facing a four-count charge bordering on defilement and assault.

The prosecutor, Sgt Jimah Iseghede, told the court that the offences were committed on Nov. 12 at the accused residence.

“The accused lives with his parents in the same house with the victims and so it was easy for him to defile the girls, aged: two and six.

“It was the cry of the two-year-old girl that attracted her mother and the accused was apprehended,” the prosecutor said. The offences, according to the prosecutor, contravene Sections 137 and 259 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2011. Sections 137 and 259 stipulate imprisonment for life for the offender if found guilty.

The accused, however, pleaded not guilty to the charges. The Chief Magistrate, Mr Tajudeen Elias, granted the accused to a bail of one million naira with two sureties in like sum. As part of the bail condition, the magistrate ordered the accused to deposit N250,000 into the court registrar’s account and adjourned the case to Jan. 6 for mention.