What Do Wives Really Want From Their Husbands?

 

Yes, someone said, “wives want quality time, help around the house, leadership, and affection”. But this is rather simple and seemingly too straightforward because of a truth, life tells a very different story. What do women really want from their husbands?

When J. D. Rockefeller was asked “How much money is enough?” his prepared answer was simply, “Just a little more.”

And life, real life has made it expressly clear that this is what wives want from their husbands? “Just a little more!”

Consider this case: A husband without a good paying job yet sold-out to alcohol would have his wife constantly praying and pressing him to change and step up. But through personal determination, threats from the wife and the grace of God, he is able to turn things around.

You would expect the wife to be satisfied. But you are wrong! 

Against all odds, the man secures a fairly well paying job which helps the family to make ends meet and avoid debts. He is his family is able to eat dinner every night. His now regarded in his neighbourhood. 

What next? Now she imagines, “my husband should look better than he does”. Pressed by this, the man changes his wardrobe, hers and the kids too.

And here she goes again, “it would be great and nice if we had more money so the kids could take piano lessons or so we could eat out once in a while”. 

This story is what seems to happen in different ways in so many marriages every day. It is as though, wives repeatedly shift the goal posts and widening the target.

And I ask again, what do wives truly want? “Just a little more!” 

Yes, as a woman you might want to say “I am satisfied with what my husband is genuinely able to achieve”. But are you satisfied too:

•     with time you spend together?

•     with the way he helps around the house

•  with his leadership, and affection he gives to you?

Truly, there is no perfect answer to what wives want from their husbands. And if this is true, shouldn’t we reverse the question and begin to ask, “What do I want FOR my husband?”

•     Wouldn’t you want freedom and wholeness for him?

•     Wouldn’t you want his heart to trust confidently in you?

•     Wouldn’t you want him to lack nothing of value

Be reminded that husbands enter marriage as humans, and, as humans, they bring baggage along too. How can I help him to find peace and wholeness and freedom from his past failures? Yes, this should be a primary concern.

And what do I want for myself? I want him - for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, from this day forward. I want him. And yes, that means I’ll attack anything that has the power to take him away from me. 

Addiction steals spouses, so I’ll confront addiction. Debt robs marriages; I’ll attack debt. Obesity kills; I’ll take on obesity. Neglect damages; I won’t let too many evenings go by with us not getting close. But may the attacks always be leveled against the real enemy - the marriage thieves, not against my husband.

What am I willing to do to get what I want? To get what I want for him…What will I do? 

•     I’ll watch my tongue. It has the power of life and death.

•     I want him to be free and whole. Freedom and wholeness cannot co-exist with bitterness, nagging, and manipulation.

•     I want him to be confident. Confidence is smothered by belittling and slander.

•     I want him to lack nothing of value. I’ll be industrious. I’ll use our resources wisely. I’ll keep my financial expectation in check.

So from now on lets bury the “Just a little more” expectations. And may the question of what wives want from their husbands be silenced eternally.

Adapted from a Marie Wellmond story, MarriageHelper.com