5 Ways To Offer forgiveness in Marriage

 

The goal for every married person is to have a happy home devoid of resentment, bitterness, quarrels, and ultimately regret. But this goal is usually a dream to many couples simple because they do not understand the role of forgiveness in marriage. 

Here are five ways to build an enduring home where peace and love thrives:

 1.        Offer Compassion

Not all of what your spouse says is an attack or reflection on you. Don’t take everything so personally. 

Yes, you may not like how he responded when you asked him for a favor. Perhaps he is tired, or has something else on his mind he’s worried about. 

Are you tired of how angry or defensive your wife acts when you ask if she needs help getting dinner ready? Consider how the rest of her day has been, and what other issues she may be dealing with or thinking about. 

When someone is abrupt or rude, it’s usually an indicator of something else that’s going on, and it may have nothing to do with you. So show some compassion towards your spouse.

2.         Offer Kindness

It is true that we are more willing to show kindness to someone at the grocery store than we are than with the person we’ve committed our lives to in the name of love. 

When was the last time you did something deliberately kind for your spouse, like open the door for her, or bring a drink to him? 

Being married doesn’t discount us or exclude us from being kind to each other. When we develop an attitude of intentional kindness towards our husbands or wives, we can find it much easier to overlook or let something go which our spouse does unintentionally.

3.         Offer Humility

The hard truth about marriage is that our spouses know us better than anyone – including all of our imperfect flaws and failings. So why pretend we are the ones who have it all together and our spouses are the ones with all the problems? 

When we come to our spouses with humble attitudes – and not prideful ones, intent on winning at all costs – we’re contributing to what can be a beautiful, authentic marriage, one built on honesty and trust and the knowledge that both of you support and love one another regardless of your faults. 

Apologizing and asking for forgiveness are an extension of a humble heart, and evidence of a secure relationship with your spouse, and with God.  

4.         Offer Gentleness

The Bible says “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1)

If your spouse reacts with a harsh word or a sharp tone about something, resist the urge to respond with the same. Instead, speak gently. Show concern instead of anger. Look for the reason behind his response instead of responding with your own reaction. Find ways you can be a peacemaker for your marriage and not an instigator.

5.         Offer Patience

Sometimes the things our spouses do that drive us the most crazy has less to do with their actions, and more with our own limits in patience. 

When our hearts are more patient, our actions are more forgiving. So if you find yourself ready to scream at the amount of time your husband is taking to fix the car like he promised, apply a little self-control and compassion.

 Remember, “A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19:1)