5 Ways Small Changes That Lead To Big Connections In Marriage

 

A lot of couples live in marriages where there is persistent unhappiness because there is a long history of discouragement and distrust. Left to fetter, this grows to become sources of resentment, bitterness and separation.

But a lot of issues troubling marriages are what could be resolved with change of attitudes and habits. In most couples, small changes in attitude lead to big changes in bonding and how they connect.

Here are some additional truths that may be helpful to you as well. 

1.         Discouragement Is A Natural Reaction To Longstanding Relationship Problems:

Many people are discouraged by feelings of discouragement. Discouragement is a natural byproduct of longstanding problems. 

Many people have a history of distrust that is hard to overcome. Inertia is strong and must be overcome. While discouragement and distrust can be overwhelming feelings, we don’t need to be thrown off course by those feelings. 

2.         Believe You Could Go Through The Process Of Change:

Have you ever taken piano lessons? I’m reminded of the process of piano lessons. If progress was measured on a week to week basis, most piano students would quit. However, if you stick with it over time, you’ll see positive changes. The same is true of emotional and spiritual growth. 

A lot of bad habits would not change over night. Trust the gradual process of change. Trust the process! 

3.         Notice The Positive Changes Over Time:

Again, using the piano lesson analogy, ‘perfect practice makes perfect.’ Stick with it. Find a good marriage counselor and follow their lead. 

Disrupt those old patterns that caused connection disruption and practice new skills that lead to healthy connection. Small changes, over time, create big feelings of connection.

4.         Invite God Into Your Feelings Of Discouragement:

While your mate will fail you, Father God can offer you strength and encouragement to sustain you in the change process. 

God is like a wonderful father to us, encouraging us and sustaining us during difficult times. “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (I John 4:8).

5.         Celebrate The Small Victories:

 While there are times of discouragement, notice those times of victory.

•    What small changes is he making?

•   How is she working to make positive connection to you?

Catch each other doing things right - this increases the likelihood that they will happen again!