I caught My Husband Sleeping With His Own Mother… Now He Wants Me Back. What Must I Do?

My husband and I have been married for close to six years and we have three children. Our home was peaceful and we were like every other happy family. 

But a few years back, I began to notice that m husband was excessively close to his mother. It worried me but never aroused any suspicion that anything strange could be happening.

My husband is kind, gentle, loving, quiet and very shy. He never engages you in a quarrel or argument. Even if he is right, he would rather admit guilt to make peace reign.

Before we got married, I noticed he was fond of his mother and both of them spent time together always, talking, and he helps her with household chores. Well I thought this was natural as he was the last born and a mummies’ boy. And I was glad then that at least my husband to be loves dong dishes and spending time in the kitchen, that he would always help me too and be good to me.

When we got married, the first sign I saw that made me curious was that he never liked sea and I was the one initiating all the love making. When we did, he quickly reclines and sleeps off as though I was a stranger. But with this his reserve sex nature (so I thought), God blessed us with three children.

But after our last child, I noticed that my husband has completely withdrawn from our bedroom. I thought all those while that he wanted me to deliver first and recover well from maternity. However, I noticed that he now spent more time at his mother’s and comes home late and sits in the parlour studying until about 2am when I am fast asleep and tucks into bed. 

Severally, I pretended to be asleep to watch his reactions and he never moved to touch me. I initially felt he had a girl-friend outside; but I knew he was not that kind of man. So I began to monitor him.

When I discovered that his late nights were spent at his mother’s place, I suspected the young girl living next door to his mother’s flat. 

One fateful day, my younger sister came to visit us and I begged her to spend the night with us and help with my kids and I drove to my mother in-law’s house. I parked some metres away and walked to the house. Somehow the gate was open and the dogs didn’t bark as I was one of their best friend. As I approached the apartment, rather than go to the front door, I went round to move close to the apartment of the young lady to eaves drop whether or not my hubby was there. But I could only hear gospel songs. 

As I hurriedly moved to the window leading to my mother in-law’s flat to avoid being seen from the girl’s apartment, I suddenly heard my hubby laughing gleefully, holding his mother’s waist as they entered the kitchen. They were too playful to notice me. They hugged one more time and scampered into the parlour. 

Lost for words and for breathe, I almost collapsed not knowing what to do. I fought back the tears and resisted the thoughts that my hubby is sleeping with his own mother. Who would believe me? Since I didn’t see more than a hug and tug, how do I prove anything? In my confused state, I trekked back home, forgetting to pick the car where I parked it.

When he returned home, I confronted him that I wanted to know who he was having an affair; but I didn’t tell him what I saw. His usual serene mien, gentleness and quietness melted the rage inside of me. Though I was bitter, I couldn’t stand his controlled, calm temper as though he was ice-cold. 

Yes, that is my husband. You never get him upset, ruffled, or make him lose his cool. He refused to say anything but calmed me down that I felt I was the fool for suspecting an innocent guy.

The next morning, I still could not fight back the thoughts and I called my pastor and requested to see him. I also asked for a casual leave from work. When I got to the pastor, I narrated my story (as I am doing here).

As a father, and our pastor, I expected him to react differently, but he only said I should be calm and that we would pray. I felt I was hearing my husband speak through hm.

And the trend continued. My hubby kept on with his mother and I pretended all is well, until one day when their wickedness back fired! Whether it was the prayers of the pastor or my husband’s foolishness, I don’t know. But they brought their evil love affair to our matrimonial bed.

My aunt and I were to travel to Ibadan for a relative’s wedding but because of the heavy traffic caused by a broken down petro tanker on Ibadan expressway, my car engine began to overheat and it eventually breakdown. I put several calls to my hubby, but he didn’t pick as he apparently put the phone on silent.

Not being able to reach him, the vehicle was towed back to the mechanic workshop in Lagos. And since it was late, my aunt and I resolved to go to her house and leave our kids at her place while see escorts me home. My hubby was expected to be home alone.

But instead of going to his mother, he brought mama home. I got home at 10:30pm with my aunt. Since we weren’t driving, we didn’t arouse attention. Not suspecting anything, I decided to go through the backdoor since I had the keys with me. As I opened the door, in the dim light, I heard snoring from the living room and I immediately motioned to my aunt to be quiet. For six years, my hubby never snored. Why now?

When we stepped into the living room, my naked hubby lay fast asleep on his back on the sofa, and his equally naked mother lay on top of him snoring. They were perhaps over sexed or induced to sleep by the strong drink on the centre table and they didn’t even notice us.

I had to use my gele to gag my weeping aunt. She never believed me until now. I quietly took her to the guest room and silently came back to watch mummy and son.

Since there was power supply I quickly went to the kitchen and plugged the kettle. In a few minutes the water was ready and with tears in my eyes and hatred I never knew, I stumbled to the parlour and stood over them to cook the alive. But my aunt suddenly came out and as she screamed “don’t”, the kettle fell on the edge of the settee and some splashed on the three of us – my hubby, his mother and I (not as I wished though).

As they screamed I took the kettle off the floor and hit my hubby in the head and he fell in disbelief. But before I could get my evil mother in-wickedness, my aunt caught hold of my arm and wrestled me to the ground. 

The woman escaped with little burns and by this time neighbours had gathered. But that was the end of my marriage of six years. I moved away from the house in the morning and I never returned. 

The weeks following were hell for me. My aunt and husband had to ferry me to a neighbouring country for a couple of months and shield me from the emissaries of my husband’s family. I even lost my promotion at my work place due to my absence.

Now I am back. My Husband and her mother have begged for forgiveness. Yes, I have forgiven them.  But I said I can’t go back to that home again. My love for him is dead. It died years ago, but was buried when I caught them.

Now, even my pastor says I should forgive him completely and go back. But can I marry a man I don’t love? Can he ever come out of his mother’s grip again? Will he overcome his love for his mother and her breast? I don’t want the sin or guilt of incest to be transferred to me and my kids.

However, my kids, not knowing what is going on are crying everyday that they want to see their daddy. Presently, they don’t know the mess we are in. 

What more can I do?