5 Ways To Be Happy As A Childless Couple

The need by couples to find the happiness children bring to a home cannot be over emphasized.

The absence of children makes many couples to groan in pain as though the world is coming to an end.

A woman, Mrs. X, shares, “I love my husband with my whole heart, but I just cry and cry every time I think about being a childless couple. I don’t want to see a counsellor but it may come to that. I just don’t know where to begin to accept it.”

One way to be happy as a childless couple is to focus on the positive! If it feels like something is missing in your marriage, take time to examine it. Kids won’t necessarily fill that void; only complete honesty can do that.

Here’s how to live with both childlessness and happiness…

1.         I Accept I May Be Sad That We Are A Childless Couple

The sadness of childlessness never, ever goes away for many women – including me. It’s like mourning my grandmother’s death or my sister’s choice to cut me out of her life – I’ll always be sad about the losses I’ve suffered. 

To be happy as a childless couple, you need to accept that you’ll always feel pangs of heartache, pain, sorrow, and even regret. Everyone has burdens to bear, crosses to carry. For some of us, childlessness is our biggest, heaviest burden.

“Growing up, I always dreamed of having kids; being able to watch them grow and going to sport/school events,” says Mrs. X.

Being a childless woman isn’t easy for anyone – and it’s especially difficult for women who yearn for kids! But, happiness in life isn’t about getting what you want; it’s about figuring out what you can give others and how you can brighten their lives.

2.         I Stay Emotionally And Physically Healthy

If you’re prone to the blues or depression, you’ll have a hard time with finding ways to be happy as a childless couple. I’m one of those lucky people who are naturally happy, positive, and optimistic. But I work at it – I do strength training and cardio almost every day. I eat healthy foods, and avoid sugar, fat, and anything that makes me feel heavy and sluggish. And, I try to get eight hours of sleep a night. 

You’d be amazed at how your health affects your mindset! And one benefit of childlessness is that I’m free to get as much sleep, exercise, and free time that I need.

I also focus on finding meaningful things in life to be passionate about!

3.         I Focus On The Benefits Of A Childless Couple (And There Are Lots!)

 According to Mr. X, “I’m trying to see the positives of being a childless couple, yet I break down when I do. Maybe it’s because I spend so much time around family/friends who do have kids and I wish I could experience what they talk about.”

Yes, it would be awesome to experience the joys and pains of having kids! I would love it – I am not childless by choice.

But, for some reason, I can easily and happily focus on how lucky and fortunate I am to experience aspects of life that I wouldn’t get with kids. I’m free to pursue whatever goals and activities I want, I love my job, and I love my freedom. That’s the biggest way to be happy as a childless couple: keep focusing on what brings you joy.

4.         I Stay Connected With My Husband – And We Have Fun Together. 

One way to be happy as a childless couple is to reconnect with your spouse. Travel together, go boating, fishing, shopping, go on hikes with pets, and do some volunteer work together in charities or other organization or churches.

According to Denice Arthurton, “One of the main reasons our childless state has turned out so successfully for us has been our strong relationship. Whenever something has come up we have talked about it no matter how uncomfortable this may have been for one or other of us. We still do this from time concerning not having kids, knowing that the demons of resentment get killed off if you bring them out into the open….What counts however is whether you can move on and build from these times. We did.”

5.         I Accept God’s Will For My Life – And Sometimes I Think He’s Protecting Me. 

You need to remember that God does things for a reason. Maybe you aren’t meant to have kids now; what if you did and they had medical problems, then it wouldn’t be like you dreamed it would either.”

If you believe God is watching out for you, you have found the most important way to be happy as a childless couple.

For me, sometimes my hubby and I think we are a childless couple because God is saving us from something. Schizophrenia and mental illness runs in my family, so maybe we’re being protected from that? Or, maybe it’s not about God holding something back from us. Infertility has reared its ugly head in my husband’s siblings as well…so maybe childlessness isn’t something God has “given” to us.

Maybe the best way to be happy as a childless couple is to accept that our infertility is just part of living in a fallen world, and all God’s children all got their messes. What do you think?