5 Ways To Grow Closer To Your Spouse In 2014

 When the year began, many of us many resolutions to improve or change certain areas of our lives. But did you consider what you would do to get in better shape, relationally, with your spouse?

No matter your priorities, you must realize that you need to deliberately and intentionally invest in your marriage just as much as you are investing in other areas of your life.

This means setting tangible goals yearly in that area, too. You can initiate your goal-setting process by asking your spouse some of the following questions:

·        What did you most enjoy about our dating days?

·        What do you wish we could do as a couple that we rarely or no longer take the time to do?

·        What have you always wanted to do, as a couple, that we haven't yet done?

·        Where would be the ideal getaway for you and me to go someday?

·        What, specifically, would you like to see us accomplish together in the next year?

You need to continually set - and meet - relational goals. I encourage you to ask your spouse those questions above and then come up with some goals of your own for 2014.

But if that's too big of a step for now, or if you're frustrated at being the one who has to initiate a closer connection, here's a place to start - five simple goals for a closer connection in the next year:

1.         Start your day with a kiss.

Simple, but effective. Studies show couples who kiss each other daily (even a quick peck on the cheek) are happier, overall, than couples who don't.

2.         Say encouraging words.

It doesn't take a lot of effort, but it reaps marvelous results.  Think in terms of "I'm only going to say it if my spouse is encouraged by it." You'll notice, within days, how your relationship improves.

3.         Plan a regular date night. 

If you have children and can rarely afford a babysitter, find another couple in the same situation and exchange babysitting once a month so each couple can have a monthly date night. Dating was important before you were married and believe us, it's even more important after you're married.

4.         Read through a relationship-building book together. 

I know, it might sound like "work" to you or your spouse, but it can be fun, and a great investment of your time together. Maybe it will consist of you reading to your spouse before bed. Or taking turns reading a chapter to each other once a week. I tried for years to get my husband to read through a relationship book with me and finally he recommended one to me, himself, which we really enjoyed it. Working through a devotional book together will help you see deeper into your spouse's heart, as well as your own. 

5. Pray together regularly.

We've heard this advice as often as you have, but it took us years to get to that place. We will admit that, even as a couple in ministry (my husband is a pastor), it's difficult to find concentrated time to pray together.

But when we started spending just a few minutes praying together before work in the morning, we found that a short prayer also included a hand held, two hears shared, and a connection with God together that made all the difference in our day. If it's still a struggle in your marriage, pray about how the two of you can make time to pray together.

When it comes to setting goals for your marriage, take the first step, willingly and lovingly. It always pays!