Many
wives go about brooding about how their husband isn’t romantic. “My husband doesn't have a romantic bone in his body”.
“He hardly connects with me emotionally”. “He’s too rigid and
mechanically”,
Indeed
a lot of women put in a great deal of efforts to improve their connection with
their spouse. They go to marriage seminars and read marriage improvement books
and even pray and take the initiative to draw their husband’s heart closer.
But
a lot of these women remain frustrated because they seek to win their partners
rather than focus on what they can do for him, rather than the other way
around.
But if
you began to focus on how you can make your husband happier, rather than the
other way around, your relationship would improve.
Men
are really quite simple in what they need and want in a relationship if wives
could understand them. As a wife, know that there are keys that unlock your
man’s heart too. When you find them, he would respond a lot better and you have
less to worry about.
To
bring the romance fire back to your marriage, here are three things you should
focus on, and within a few days, you two might just be closer than ever:
1. Prove You are A Partner - A Team Mate
Every
man wants a team-mate, not just a bed-mate. He wants a partner – someone, a
trusted friend, to help him, share his burden, and lighten his load. As his
wife, that is your primary role. Even the Bible says so (Genesis 2:18).
When
a wife helps her husband with an attitude that wants to see him win, she
sends a simple message to him - "I believe in you. I want to partner with
you. I'm on your side."
You
can prove to be a partner asking your husband, "What can I do to make your
day go smoother?" and then sincerely do your best to make it happen.
Perhaps
you can ask, "How can I pray for you today in spite of my schedule?” (especially
if you are engaged with work too).
This
way, you shoe him that that your heart is with him, and willing to help him, no
matter what it takes. This encourages him, that you're on his team and you want
him to win.
2. Praise and Emphasis the Positives
A
lot of wives expect so much from their husbands. And if he knows or feels he is
disappointing you in some way he may pull back from you.
Men
are like hunters wired to want to win. And that means they want to succeed with
their wives. When a man feels like he's winning at home, he will want to be
there more often, and he'll feel like he can go out and win everywhere else,
too.
This
is why you must let him know what he's doing right. Praise him, instead of just
assume it is duty anyway, or taking advantage of it when he does something that
you needed his strength or wisdom or time for.
Let him
know the things you appreciate about him. Then go to the things you admire about
him. Talk about them.
I am
sure if your husband didn’t have some good qualities you wouldn't have married
him in the first place. But have you remembered to mention them lately?
When
you start praising the positives in him you'll find those positives become more
and more apparent. In other words, if your husband knows he's winning with you
at something, he'll keep doing it.
3. Give Fire For Fire
This
simply means you should respond to him eagerly. A man whose wife is excited
about the things that he's interested in, eager to try new things with him, and
positive about his suggestions can get closer to his heart.
This
does not suggest you have to agree with everything he says. But strive to be
more be positive and encouraging than being critical.
If
he prefers some things you're really not interested in such as TV sports, golf,
English Premier League, fishing, working out, electronics, computer games, etc,
try to build some interest. This will draw him closer to you than the neighbour
next door, at least for the period of the games or whatever activity he is
into. And you can build from there.
Your
interest - and enthusiasm - may take him by surprise, but it will be a nice
surprise. Reach to find what it is the two of you can share in common again and
then make it happen. It will be worth the effort.
4. Go
Back To The Old Days
Yes,
go back to being the woman you were when the two of you were dating. This simply means you should start
doing the things you used to do when you first started seeing him.
There
are certain things we "did at first" that attracted our husbands
to us and, even more importantly, that made them feel loved and desired by us.
Make
your husband feel attractive again. Show him respect like you once did.
Compliment him as often as you used to. Drop what you're doing, once again, to
take his calls, respond to his requests, and assure him that he's first in your
heart.
Just
like you, he's noticed that those things have fallen by the wayside through the
years. So pick them back up again and regain what you might feel you've lost.
Be
the woman your husband can't resist by being the woman he originally fell in
love with. Be the woman who treats him like you once did. And by doing so, you
may find that suddenly he, too, is the man you once knew. Go back to your first
love!
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