As A Husband, Would You Follow Your Wife Into The Labour Room?

Many wives want their husbands to be with them in the labour room. To many, this is a sign of love and oneness. To some, it is perhaps for the man to at least witness the pains of child bearing.

But is this practice really ideal? Can every man stand it?

While some men may enjoy and cherish the experience, it also causes postpartum depression for others based on the trauma they are exposed to.

To Martin Daubney whose wife, Diana's endured a three day labour and caesarian birth, it was a traumatic time that affected even his sex life afterwards.

Hear him:

“During this time, she endured endless internal examinations, was fed a cocktail of powerful inducement drugs and attached to drips which made her arms balloon to twice their size. 

Then, of course, there was the agony. I hated watching her suffer.

At 7am on the fourth morning, after 36 hours of nil by mouth that left Diana so weak she could barely open her eyes, I told the nurses I was giving her a drink of Ribena whether they liked it or not.

I returned from the nearby shop to find Diana fitting and an emergency team of doctors crowding round her. It was the most terrifying experience of my life. I thought Diana might die, taking our unborn baby with her.

An hour later, an obstetrician revealed that - after all that struggle with labour - an emergency Caesarean was the only option after all. We were exasperated, exhausted, but relieved when four hours later Diana was whisked into theatre.

I’d been keeping a video diary of our journey to birth, from the moment we left our house. And for some reason - probably to give me a sense of purpose and focus - I filmed the Caesarean. Looking back, it was a step too far.

I won’t go into the gory details, but suffice to say the sight of a surgeon elbow-deep inside your wife’s abdomen isn’t something you forget in a hurry.

I felt guilty; I had made her pregnant, so surely I was to blame. That’s what made me terrified of love-making — I didn’t want to put her through that trauma again”.

The effect of seeing his wife in theatre affected Martin negatively. And when their child was weaned, expectedly the wife would attention.

“Diana started wanting cuddles and I realised getting close to her in a non-sexual sense made me tense. I was terrified to touch Diana for fear of what it might result in…

Witnessing the trauma of childbirth, coupled with the toll it takes on their partner’s body, can have a devastating impact on a man and his approach to sex.

So, as a man, would you follow your wife into the theatre or labour room? And as a wife, would you want your husband to be by your side? What is your take?