Yes, someone said, “wives want quality time, help around the
house, leadership, and affection”. But this is rather simple and seemingly too
straightforward because of a truth, life tells a very different story. What do
women really want from their husbands?
When J. D. Rockefeller was asked “How much money is enough?” his
prepared answer was simply, “Just a little more.”
And life, real life has made it expressly clear that this is
what wives want from their husbands? “Just a little more!”
Consider this case: A husband without a good paying job yet
sold-out to alcohol would have his wife constantly praying and pressing him to
change and step up. But through personal determination, threats from the wife
and the grace of God, he is able to turn things around.
You would expect the wife to be satisfied. But you are wrong!
Against all odds, the man secures a fairly well paying job which
helps the family to make ends meet and avoid debts. He is his family is able to
eat dinner every night. His now regarded in his neighbourhood.
What next? Now she imagines, “my husband should look better than
he does”. Pressed by this, the man changes his wardrobe, hers and the kids too.
And here she goes again, “it would be great and nice if we had
more money so the kids could take piano lessons or so we could eat out once in
a while”.
This story is what seems to happen in different ways in so many
marriages every day. It is as though, wives repeatedly shift the goal posts and
widening the target.
And I ask again, what do wives truly want? “Just a little more!”
Yes, as a woman you might want to say “I am satisfied with what
my husband is genuinely able to achieve”. But are you satisfied too:
- with time you spend
together?
- with the way he helps
around the house
- with his leadership,
and affection he gives to you?
Truly, there is no perfect answer to what wives want from their
husbands. And if this is true, shouldn’t we reverse the question and begin to
ask, “What do I want FOR my husband?”
- Wouldn’t you want
freedom and wholeness for him?
- Wouldn’t you want his
heart to trust confidently in you?
- Wouldn’t you want him
to lack nothing of value
Be reminded that husbands enter marriage as humans, and, as
humans, they bring baggage along too. How can I help him to find peace and
wholeness and freedom from his past failures? Yes, this should be a primary concern.
And what do I want for myself? I want him - for richer, for poorer, in
sickness, and in health, from this day forward. I want him. And yes, that means
I’ll attack anything that has the power to take him away from me.
Addiction steals spouses, so I’ll confront addiction. Debt robs
marriages; I’ll attack debt. Obesity kills; I’ll take on obesity. Neglect
damages; I won’t let too many evenings go by with us not getting close. But may
the attacks always be leveled against the real enemy - the marriage thieves,
not against my husband.
What am I willing to do to get what I want? To get what I want for him…What will I do?
- I’ll watch my tongue.
It has the power of life and death.
- I want him to be free
and whole. Freedom and wholeness cannot co-exist with bitterness, nagging, and
manipulation.
- I want him to be
confident. Confidence is smothered by belittling and slander.
- I want him to lack
nothing of value. I’ll be industrious. I’ll use our resources wisely. I’ll keep
my financial expectation in check.
So from now on lets bury the “Just a little more” expectations.
And may the question of what wives want from their husbands be silenced eternally.
Adapted
from a Marie Wellmond story, MarriageHelper.com
