A lot of folks
would go to any length to tend to their look and outward appearance. We spend
billions each year on our appearance. Gym memberships, dieting programs that
may or may not work, new clothes and more, occupy our minds. Yes, it is nice
that care how we look. But, what do our marriages look like?
More importantly,
where does our marital health rank on the list of To-Do’s? Instead of
our bodies and physical appearance being top priorities, what if we put that
focus on our marriages instead?
The hardest part
of parenting, that no one seems to want to warn you about, is the strain
children have on your marriage. Children can come between you and your spouse.
As the years go
by, the children naturally become our focus, making it easy to lose sight of
each other. We don’t take the time or energy necessary to stay connected.
But, this trend
can be stopped if you give your marriage a “check up.” I believe there are
seven words that, if applied to our marriages, have the power to make this year
the best year we have ever experienced as a couple.
1. Initiate: Remember the courtship? Make an effort to woo your
spouse all over again. So many marriages fall apart because people just stop
trying.
2. Prioritize: What is your top priority? It’s where you devote the
majority of your time or energy. Turn off the television and put down your
iPhone. Your email and updating your Facebook status can wait.
3. Communicate: In a successful marriage, you have to fight the urge
to sweep things under the rug. Don’t allow things to fester. Instead, keep an
open line of communication.
When we have
“sounding boards” who aren’t our spouses, sure, we might feel a little better,
but we are doing nothing to actually resolve situations or improve our
relationship.
4. Listen: The most important part of communicating doesn’t
involve speaking; it’s listening. Your spouse wants to be heard.
How can you know
what he or she is feeling if you don’t take the time to listen. All too often,
many of us are too quick to interject before the person is even finished
speaking.
5. Forgive: Don’t hold onto things. You only harm yourself. When
your spouse does something, refer to #3 and #4. Then, let it go. Forgive them
and move on.
6. Love: Without love, there is no marriage. And, that’s why
we must keep the spark alive.
This year, set
aside more time to date your spouse. And, when you are out, try your best to
make sure the kids or grandkids aren’t the primary topic of conversation. Spoil
your spouse occasionally.
7. Pray: It has been said that a successful marriage consists
of three people: husband, wife and God. Involve Him more, even in the so-called
“little things.”
Let’s resolve
together to focus on our relationships more than ourselves this year, and watch
how God will bless the efforts.
I am sure there
are other words you would add to this list!