5 Things Not To Do To Keep Your Marriage Happy

Marriage essentially brings two different people together and fuses them as one. And because many people in marriages are people with different backgrounds and upbringings, experiences and expectations, frictions and frustrations sometimes occur.

Hardly would we find a marriage not filled with repentance and apologies along with deep intimacy and companionship, because misunderstandings and feelings of being hurt, bitter, and sometimes anger are necessary baggage of marriage.

Indeed, many couples go through tough times in marriage; but rather than destroy them, such times helped them to discover themselves and made the get more committed to each other.

In the midst of everything, they were able to pull through, essentially because they avoided five things that kill happiness in marriage.

Here are five things not to do to keep your marriage happy: 

1.         Don’t stop praying for your spouse

We only pray for those we wish well. Even when we’re hurt, we don’t stop praying for the one we want to succeed.

Praying for your partner affirms your commitment to them and your belief that together you can forge ahead as a team. It’s in the praying that power is released.

Find creative ways to pray for your spouse and his/her career.

2.         Don’t bear grudges

A grudge is just persistent resentment towards a person due to pain or hurt. And, that grudge can grow and fester until it bleeds even more hurt into a marriage.

Yes you may be the one who is right and offended. But it is better to be one and together with your partner than being right.

3.         Don’t deny your partner sex

Don’t say no to the pursuit of making love in your marriage. Making love together is about a whole lot more than physical intimacy, but physical intimacy is the coming together, the coupling, the connecting. 

You can “make love” by making a cup of tea for your spouse, but making a cup of tea and creating space to physically connect results in different emotions, a different level of uniting.

Making love is like a gift you give to your spouse. And we know that when we give a physical gift, we give it to our partners for them to use as they please.

The reason why many spouses, especially wives withhold sex is perhaps because they are still afraid their husbands will misuse their willingness, and make them feel used. This thinking is wrong in a marriage union.

4.         Don’t take the leadership or feelings of your spouse for granted

Even when we feel like our spouses are lacking, we shouldn’t underestimate the innate abilities God has deposited in them.

If your spouse chooses to follow a direction you are not primed for, hear him/her out. Sometimes, submit to the leadership of your partner.

If you find yourself feeling like you can’t trust your spouse’s decisions, because you feel he or she has misled you in the past or you don’t believe he or she is not just up to it, then I’d suggest you back to point number one: don’t stop praying.

5.         Don’t kill your home with negative talk

We can speak life over our spouses, not calling out their flaws, frustrations, and weaknesses, but calling out the gifts and the goodness that God has deposited within them.

We can speak hope and life, goodness and faith over them instead of death, darkness, and destruction.

Rather than complain, you could say something like, “You always remember to return our movies or feed the fish; you have such a gift of responsibility.”  

When you compliment spouse’s strengths, rather than sing about their shortcomings, it empowers and encourages them, and makes them feel supported.

Adapted from Holly Mthethwa’s  

10 Health Lessons Men Can Learn From Women

1.       Catch More Sleep

Women usually get more sleep than men. Many log at least 8 hours of shut-eye on weeknights. Both genders need between 7 and 9 hours a night. To help you nod off, make sure you room is dark and cool, and leave devices like phones, tablets, and TVs in another part of the house.

2.       Keep Up With Your Buddies

Looking for a reason to get a group of guys together for poker night? How about this? It could add years to your life. Women tend to have more friends. Having a group of pals you can have fun with and trust can be quite healthy.

3.       Kick the Habit

About 20 out of every 100 adult men smoke, while only 15 of 100 adult women light up. Whether you go through a couple of packs a day or only smoke every once in a while, it’s time to talk to your doctor about how to stop.

4.       Back Away From the Bar

Ladies know when to say no better than guys do. They’re only half as likely to abuse alcohol as men. That’s not the only bad news - dudes are also more likely to binge and to stay drunk longer.

5.       Play It Safer

Guess which gender takes more risks. Guys are usually the ones who don't wear seat belts, drive too fast, or make all-out war out of a friendly pickup basketball game. Slow down and think twice before you act.

6.       Keep Your Skin Safe

Men spend more time in the sun. But they're less likely to use sunscreen correctly, if at all. Use enough to fill a shot glass, and reapply every 2 hours.

7.       Watch What You Eat

The healthy eating award goes to the gals. Guys eat more meat, while women eat more fruits and vegetables. Men are more likely to eat runny eggs, raw oysters, and nearly raw beef. The fact is, some guys just don’t want to eat their veggies. Don’t be that guy.

8.       Wash Your Hands

Don't touch that bathroom door handle. Way more women wash their hands more often (and better) than men - especially after they use a public restroom. That gets rid of germs that can cause disease. Plus, women are much more likely to use soap than men. 

Bottom line: If you don’t want to catch a cold, the flu, or something worse, scrub down!

9.       Get Checked Out

One way to stay healthy: Go to the doctor. Men are about twice as likely as women to say they haven't seen a doctor in the past year. 

Don’t tough it out. Ask the doc how often you should come in and what tests he suggests for someone your age. Then make an appointment and get it over with.

10      Keep Your Mind Healthy

While women may be more likely to get depressed, there's also a better chance they'll get help for it. Guys, the first step to shaking off the blues is to see a doctor or a mental health expert. The sooner you get started, the faster you’ll feel better.

Culled:

Marriage: Love Is Not Enough!

It is true that we have different strokes for different folks. To many people marriage is all about love and loving each other; and that’s all that counts. But there are a lot of married couples who would disagree with that, saying that love won't be able to pay the bills, nor will it feed hungry mouths.

However, when it comes to marriage relationships, love is always in the centre. But, love is not the only thing that keeps couples together.  It requires much more to keep a relationship healthy and flourishing.

Here are a few qualities partners should seek to maintain::

1.         Always trust each other

This means having faith in your partner's loyalty even if you know he's surrounded by a lot of temptations.  This is, believing that your partner loves you enough not to cheat on you. 

It is normal to feel jealous; however, it is how a person reacts to that emotion that will count. Acting on impulse because of jealousy will only bring you down and will not be healthy for your relationship.

2.         Always respect for each other

Your significant other should be able to give you the same respect he/she expects from you. This is respect for your individuality, for your unique personality – your sense of humor or the weird way you laugh.

This also entails a sense of respect for your decisions. Accepting your decisions and understanding it. Simply put, mutual respect in a relationship means that you value each other’s differences and understand, not try to change the other person’s personality.

3.         Be fair to each other always

Relationships are never one-way street.  It should always be give and take. This may be something as simple as choosing a location, or a movie to watch. This means establishing mutual consent on whatever the couple wants to do, instead of making the decision making process a battle to be won.

4.         Always communicate. Be open

Be free to express how you feel openly and honestly to your partner without fear of being ridiculed or misinterpreted. Having the initiative to speak what’s on your mind shows your partner that you are comfortable enough to open up to him/her. 

This is, of course, provided you’ve given it enough thought to know that what you say will be taken in a good, constructive way.

5.         Have a sense of honesty

This goes together with trust as trust is based on how honest and faithful your partner is to you. The problem lies in how a person can trust his partner if that partner can’t be honest with him/her.

6.         Be a partner or help-mate

This simply means offering your support to your partner when they're down or problematic.  They also need your support during times of happiness and triumph. 

It's nice to know that someone's with you when you're in the mud. But it's also nice to have someone to share your sweet success with.

7.         Remember you have separate Identities

Though you are one as a couple, there will be compromising situations where there is a difference in interest. This doesn’t have to end up with one losing his identity just to give way to the other person. Both partners should still be able to maintain time for their own interest like when they started with the relationship.

Marriage is sweeter when we strive to keep it healthy and happy, and do our best to make it flourish.