Six Ways to Love Your Husband

It is been said that marriage without love is immoral, and no marriage can truly stand where love is absent. But how do you love your husband in the face of some many issues that come up in a marriage relationship?

Here are six way to show love to your husband in spite of who he is:

1.            With forgiveness

When it comes to “big things”, I think we all know that we are supposed to forgive our husbands. But little things aren’t always looked at in the same light.

When Hubby is late for dinner, I get miffed. When Hubby plays his XBox game for an hour instead of cuddling with me, I’m insulted. When Hubby responds with a biting remark, I’m upset.

It’s these little things that get under our skin. It’s when these little things are done or said, that bother us. And we think that we should “show him” by acting coldly and aloof. We punish him because we think this will help him to learn and NOT do it in the future.

Sometimes I think it’s okay to let Hubby suffer while I refuse to forgive him. I think that while he knows I am upset, he will think twice about his actions next time!

But is this right behavior? Is this what love truly is? 

“Charity (or love) suffers long…” This Bible verse tells me that I am to be l-o-n-g in spirit. A study of those words would show that suffering long or patient doesn’t just stop there. It means to not lose heart, to be slow of anger and punishment. It means to be patient in bearing the offenses of others.

That gives no room for letting Hubby suffer while I harbor bitterness against him.

Forgiveness looks like:

•             Acting as if Hubby didn’t do _____.

•             Showing kindness when Hubby has done ____.

•             Intentionally showing love when Hubby has intentionally done something to hurt.

2.            With patience

I see things that aren’t good and should be changed in Hubby’s life. But I can’t change him – only God can. I must be patient for him to learn and let God work.

Do you know how difficult that is for a woman?!? Many women get married thinking they can change their husbands. And they soon realize that their nagging won’t get anywhere!

“Charity suffereth long…” begins the list of those things that love embodies. I’ve always thought that this phrase simply meant patient, but it’s not just that!

In my marriage, I’m supposed to have a long spirit or temper. I must persevere patiently. I must be slow to anger and slow to punish. I must be patient in bearing the offenses of hubby.

Hubby and I are going to have disagreements.  Sometimes we may argue and fight about something. It’s just a “given” because we are two imperfect people who make mistakes. But it doesn’t mean that I should let that impatience of mine continue!

Having patience means:

•             Letting Hubby learn by himself. {you can build his confidence this way}

•             Not saying “I told you so.”

•             Not telling girlfriends of the unkindnesses of Hubby.

•             Allowing God time to work in Hubby’s life.

•             Praying for Hubby for as long as it takes.

•             Not being bossy & demanding Hubby change.

3.            With silence.

This goes hand in hand with patience. If you’re being a truly patient wife, then you will not be the proverbial nag that so many men abhor.

But being a nag is far from being silent. And learning to be silent when necessary can be sooooo hard for some women. {I don’t discount myself from this group here, because I too have learned that I can’t nag my husband into learning something or changing him.}

There are so many different situations in marriage and learning when and how to say something can be tricky.

Sometimes you must:

•             let Hubby make a mistake so he can learn.

•             keep your tongue and not say “I told you so.”

•             not try to beat into him information that you think is pertinent.

•             not force Hubby to do something he

4.            No tally sheet.

Did you know that you’re supposed to love your husband as if he’s never sinned against you?

“… [love] thinketh no evil.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

The words, “thinketh no evil”, actually means to keep no record of being wronged. If I did this, I would be acting as if Hubby had never done me any wrong at all!

Can you imagine the dynamic in your marriage if you did this? Can you image if:

•             You acted as if Hubby paid you all the attention you think you deserve?

•             You forgot about Hubby’s indiscretions?

Because we are flawed people, there’s no way we could actually accomplish NOT doing wrong. But doing our best to act like Hubby has done no wrong is possible! It may not be easy, but it’s doable!

Keeping no tally sheet means acting as if:

•             Hubby didn’t ignore me.

•             Hubby didn’t disappoint me.

•             Hubby didn’t insult me.

•             Hubby did romance me.

•             Hubby show me attention.

5.            Intentional kindness

Kindness isn’t a feeling; it’s an active attitude or action.

So Hubby could be acting terribly to you, and you’re still supposed to show kindness. Although you may not feel like it is due, you are still supposed to show it!

“Charity…is kind.” 1 Corinthians 13: The word, “kind”, means helpful, useful, benevolent, not with-holding kindness.

It’s hard to show kindness to someone, when we feel they don’t deserve it from us. And it can be hard to show it too! But what a great testimony you will be showing! What a great example of Christ-likeness!

Intentional kindness is:

•             make lunch for Hubby.

•             have his laundry done.

•             make time for Hubby.

•             compliment Hubby.

•             hug & kiss Hubby.

•             be intimate with Hubby.

6.            With untouchiness

Women are known for being touchy. Any little thing can set us off.

•             Hubby comes home too late.

•             Hubby forgets to pick up ____ at the store.

•             Hubby is too sweaty or dirty for cuddling.

•             Hubby spends too much time on video games.

•             Hubby forgets to take out the trash.

•             Hubby isn’t sensitive to my needs.

But love isn’t touchy, cranky, bad-tempered, hypersensitive or irritable.

If Hubby is so worried about hurting my feelings, there’s a problem. If Hubby is constantly worried I’m going to “blow a gasket” becaue of something he says, there’s a problem.

I don’t want Hubby to be afraid that I’m going to get upset when does something little.  I don’t want him to feel “unfree” to be himself around me.

Be intentional about your marriage today! Begin to make marriage better right now!

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