Should Couples Use Texting To Resolve Marital Conflict?

 

Resolving marital conflict requires that couples talk things over. Issues cannot be resolved without communication. This is why good communication is vital to a healthy marriage.

But with the advent of telephone and advancement of information technology, more couples now turn to using their smartphones and other internet devices to communicate when issues arise at home.

Couples now spend more time texting than talking. You could argue that if both the husband and wife are doing this, then what’s the problem?

The problem is, while most couples would agree that good communication is vital to a healthy marriage, they still opt to have important conversations via text. Texting certainly has its place, but there are a few problems with texting that deserve consideration.

Many couples use text as a means to resolve conflict. While there are merits to having an opportunity to think through your words before saying them, texting allows for rapid fire responses and incomplete sentences that leave room for confusion and false interpretation.

This typically has one of two results: 

• the conflict is left unresolved and allowed to fester
• or the resolution is misunderstood and creates new conflict.

 Texting also allows you to keep your emotions to yourself rather than allowing your spouse to see the pain in your eyes and the strain in your voice. In reverse, texting protects you from having to personally deal with these same emotions from your spouse.

Recognizing and owning the pain you’ve caused someone is vital in any relationship. Allowing your spouse to adequately express their pain is vital to their healing.

Why should couples who go out to dinner both immediately pull out their phones when they are seated? Are they avoiding each other? Are they more comfortable sitting in silence than engaging in actual conversation? Could it not be they are possibly being unfaithful?

Truly, couples should more often than not put down their smartphones and talk before it is too late. They need to get smart!

Talk to your spouse and ask them what you’re currently doing, or what you could potentially do that would make them feel threatened, left out or not catered for. Talking and not texting is the smartest way to resolving marital crisis!