1. Wax.
2. Talk about his rotten parallel parking skills.
3. Clip her toenails. (Think: Should he do it on the couch? Ick.)
4. Pee.
5. Take a number 2.
6. Put in a tampon. Or (and at this point, this should go without saying), take one out.
7. Watch The Business of Being Born if they haven't had kids yet. He doesn't need the visual of a baby crowning any earlier than necessary.
8. Compliment her best friend's husband's body. Like, "Wowza, Jerry's been working out, huh?"
9. Talk to her girlfriends about former boyfriends—even if she's remembering how awful he was.
10. Say exactly how much that new handbag cost.
11. Dye her roots. They really don't know about the gray hair.
12. Wonder aloud if his mom ever made anything that didn't come out of a can.
13. Say "again" when he says the reason the DVR didn't tape her favorite show is because it's broken.
14. Laugh when he swears the reason he can't put the IKEA bookshelf together is because there are pieces missing.
15. Any chore he thinks he did perfectly just a minute ago.
16. Talk about that one time she had that amazing orgasm with that college boyfriend…
17. Bend over if you are not in the mood—even if it's just to put something in the dishwasher. Sadly, their brains are still stuck in sixth grade when it comes to some things.
2. Talk about his rotten parallel parking skills.
3. Clip her toenails. (Think: Should he do it on the couch? Ick.)
4. Pee.
5. Take a number 2.
6. Put in a tampon. Or (and at this point, this should go without saying), take one out.
7. Watch The Business of Being Born if they haven't had kids yet. He doesn't need the visual of a baby crowning any earlier than necessary.
8. Compliment her best friend's husband's body. Like, "Wowza, Jerry's been working out, huh?"
9. Talk to her girlfriends about former boyfriends—even if she's remembering how awful he was.
10. Say exactly how much that new handbag cost.
11. Dye her roots. They really don't know about the gray hair.
12. Wonder aloud if his mom ever made anything that didn't come out of a can.
13. Say "again" when he says the reason the DVR didn't tape her favorite show is because it's broken.
14. Laugh when he swears the reason he can't put the IKEA bookshelf together is because there are pieces missing.
15. Any chore he thinks he did perfectly just a minute ago.
16. Talk about that one time she had that amazing orgasm with that college boyfriend…
17. Bend over if you are not in the mood—even if it's just to put something in the dishwasher. Sadly, their brains are still stuck in sixth grade when it comes to some things.
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