How To Handle A Spouse's Verbal Abuse

Marriage essentially brings two people together, perhaps two people of different background, values, training and temperament. Yet, these people must become one for the marriage to succeed.

But several homes are a battle field, battle fields where words are the main and initial weapons and arrows cast at each other by couples. And words can indeed kill.

Many people are “killed” by the words of their spouse. A whole lot of others are verbally abused daily by the ones who professed and confessed before many that they would love their spouse till death do them part.

If this is your, case, know that there is a way out of verbal abuse. Here are some simple tips on how to respond to verbal abuse from a spouse, your spouse.

1.         Don’t Always Accept That Everything Is Your Fault 

In dealing with verbal abuse in a relationship with your spouse, it's important that you don't feel like or accept that you are at fault. That's the purpose of verbal abuse - it's to make you feel less than you are, and to feel like you're at fault, guilty and worthless. 

2.         Set Up Clear Boundaries With Your Spouse

This simply means you clearly spell out what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. If your partner calls you certain names or words that are unacceptable make sure that you communicate that to him or her.

You may probably need the support of people to affirm your position; people who your spouse respect or trust; people who can stand up to him/her to ensure the changes are made to address the verbal abuse.

3.         Always Keep The Back Door Open -"An Escape Plan"

Always ensure that you have an escape plan, a way to get out if things get out of hand and if the verbal abuse gets dangerous or if you feel unsafe. It is important that you can escape, that you can leave the situation.  Even if it is just simply walking out of the room and going into another room, it's critically important that you have that in place

It is also important for you to surround yourself with a network of friends, family and colleagues who you can turn to. You need an air of positive words after been bombarded with negativity.

4.         Do Not Engage in the Verbal Abuse

Sometimes, a verbal abuse is intended to draw you into a fight. Don’t fall for it or don't buy in to the verbal abuse.  You don't need to engage with the abusing spouse and escalate the situation. 

You may think that you'll feel better when you engage in the screaming or the name calling or you give it back to your partner.  That just escalates the situation and makes it worse.

Yes, There is a Solution and a Way Out of Verbal Abuse!

Perhaps the most important thing you must realize is that there is a solution, that there is a way out, and that solution begins with you. 

It is very important that you take control of your life, and set up boundaries that you can enforce that will protect you from the verbal abuse.