Couple On The Rise - Mr. & Mrs. Bunmi Davies

Bunmi Davies is the Managing Director, Afrotainment. He is also the organizer of Stand-Up Nigeria comedy show. He is married to Motunrayo and they talk about their union.

How did you meet?

Bunmi: I met her in 1998. Then, we were both students at the University of Lagos. She accompanied a mutual friend to an all—night rehearsal my drama club was having. At a point, I noticed she was cold due to the chilly atmosphere at the venue. So, I pulled my shirt and gave it to her.

Tunrayo: I studied mass communications and he read banking and finance. When he gave me his shirt, I thought he did that because I was a friend to his friend. I did not know that he had another motive.

Was there another man?

Bunmi: Oh yes. I would have thought she had a problem if there was none. But I knew I was the best man for her.

Tunrayo: I was dating somebody else before I met him but I grew to like Bunmi more than the other man.

When did you decide that she was going to be your wife?

Bunmi: I made the decision from the first day.

Can you talk about the marriage proposal?

Bunmi: At a point, we just knew we were going to get married; the question was when? There was no kneeling down or offering of rings.

Tunrayo: When he proposed, I said yes immediately.

Were there any opposition from your parents regarding the union?

Bunmi: No. Our parents were even wondering when we were going to get married because we had been friends for six years.

Did the long period of friendship help the marriage?

Bunmi: Yes. We have one thing in common and that is our desire to have people around us at all times. It has contributed a great deal to the success of the marriage. Before I got married, my house was like a boarding house where comedians slept when they closed late from shows.

Tunrayo: The marriage has been fun. Bunmi craves a hug every morning when he wakes up from bed. I know that every morning, I have to cuddle him before he gets out of bed. There is no woman who would not be happy with such a man.

Do you have children?

Bunmi: We have a beautiful daughter, Azeema.

How was the initial period of pregnancy for both of you?

Bunmi: Before we got married, we had agreed that we were not going to be a large family. We settled for two kids. We also agreed that the first one year would be for ourselves before the arrival of the child. The period of her pregnancy was fun. I joked that she should carry the pregnancy for five months and allow me carry it for four months.

Tunrayo: Bunmi was wonderful. He acted as if he was also pregnant. I stopped him from using his perfumes because I could not stand the smell at the time. I did not cook because I could not also stand the smell of food, so Bunmi cooked for all of us. At night, I woke up several times to use the toilet and he always accompanied me.

Bunmi: The reason was because she was afraid of the dark.

Do you ever quarrel?

Bunmi: Yes. We quarrel. It is a function of what kind of quarrel it is. If it is a quarrel about her watching a movie that I don‘t want to watch, that one is easy to settle.

There is also the quarrel about picking up our child from school early. That one is a bit more difficult to settle. She also does not like it when I refuse to wear an outfit that she has picked. That could sometimes cause tension in the house.

Tunrayo: We have not had any major quarrel. Judging from my background, when parents fight, the mother does not cook because the father will not eat her food. I thought it was normal to be like that. When I got married to Bunmi and we had a misunderstanding, I was very happy and I did not cook. But when he came back, the first thing he asked for was his food. I had to quickly prepare his food. I knew then that it was impossible to keep malice with him.

How do you settle quarrels?

Bunmi: We have had two or three disagreements. In the past but they just fizzled out. We would have done one or two things before realising that we are supposed to be fighting. My daughter likes to sleep in our room. She likes to stay between us in bed and engage both of us in her conversation. Since we would not want her to know that we are quarrelling, we would just join in the discussion. But as soon as she leaves, we would go back to our fight. At other times, we would discuss our differences and arrive at a compromise.

What do you do to make each other angry?

Bunmi: She bottles up her feelings and when she flares up, I start wondering. If she has something on her mind, she may not say it until she is pushed to the wall. When she starts talking, she would link the current offence to the one I committed earlier.

Tunrayo: The house floor has carpet and everybody removes their shoes before entering except Bunmi who insists he is wearing new shoes and cannot remove them.

How do you End time to bond as a couple?

Bunmi: The job we are doing is fun. She comes around to talk about the show and point out things that were not done right. That way, we are bonding. Sometimes, we go to an eatery. I do not go to events to catch fun. This is because I have noticed most times, when I go to events, I end up being part of the crew. I don't like to travel but she likes to travel. She has initiated our daughter into the travelling syndrome.

Tunrayo: We don't go out like other couples because he does not like to go out. He does not also like to travel and that leaves me with the choice of travelling with my daughter.

What pet names do you have for each other?

Buumi: She calls me all sorts depending on her mood. She calls me Babe, Baba or Bunmi. What she calls me depends on what she wants to ask for. I call her 'Iurayo or Mojor. I also call her V-mama. But most times, I call her Turayo or Tunri.

Tunrayo: I call him Ajani mi or BB of life. When I am upset I call him Bunmi.

How do you handle your finances?

Bunmi: Knowing this to be a weakness, I have appointed an accountant to handle my money. When I want money, if it is beyond our budget, I need to convince him before he can release the money. At the home front, my wife is the accountant.

Tuurnyo: We don’t have a joint account. I tell him my money is my money and his money is our money.

Is she your fan?

Bunmi: She is my personal adviser, not fan. She will tell me what I did not do well when other people are cheering me on.

Culled from Consumer Guide Nigeria