Signs Of An Abusive Marriage And How To Protect Yourself

Here are signs that demonstrate that you are in an abusive relationship:

Financial Abuse

If you share your finances, you should both have a say in how you invest and spend your money, where it goes, etc.

You are in an abusive relationship if your spouse will not let you work or takes the money you earn away from you. If he or she will not allow you to further your education or gives you a small allowance that is not enough to live on, then he or she is using money to control your whereabouts and your ability to leave him or her more easily.

Emotional Abuse

Most people are guilty of calling their spouse a name or two in the middle of a heated argument. But if your husband or wife is constantly belittling you – referring to you by offensive names, degrading you in front of others, criticizing your housework or behavior, putting down your appearance, and making you feel badly about yourself, then you are a victim of emotional abuse.

Wearing you down emotionally might make you feel as though no one else will ever love you and that you deserve to be treated badly. No one deserves that.

Stalking/Harassment

Some jealousy in a relationship can be healthy. It’s understandable if your husband would rather you didn’t e-mail your ex-boyfriend now that you’re married. But if he checks all your e-mails and interrogates you about the men with whom you work, friends, or even relatives, then there’s something more sinister going on.

Certainly, if he begins following you to work, the gym, etc. or calling constantly to know exactly what you’re doing, then you have a problem. This is a sign that he wants to control your every move and that he doesn’t trust you. A marriage – or any relationship for that matter – without trust lacks true love and is broken.

Threats to You or Your Family

When your spouse is threatening to hurt you, your family, or your children, you must take it seriously – even if you don’t think he or she would actually follow through.

People would not threaten you if they didn’t want to scare you, which is abuse in and of itself. Plus, what if he or she did make good on the threat? After all, he or she said it. Is that a risk you really want to take?

Sexual Abuse

Fewer people come out and talk about sexual abuse in their romantic relationships and marriages. But it happens. Many boyfriends or husbands force their partner to perform sexual acts that are painful, violent, or make them feel uncomfortable, she adds. If your spouse forces you to do something you don’t want to do, it is abuse and it’s another way to control the relationship and you.

Physical Abuse

Some people say that the abuser did not leave a mark or only lightly slapped them, and he or she apologized and won’t do it again. This is still abuse. And it will probably happen again, she adds.

If your husband hit you once, he’ll likely do it again. You alone can not help him. You must first think about your own safety.

Still, it’s difficult for some people to know when they are in danger.

About 25 percent of 172 couples from Los Angeles who participated in a recent study on couples during their first five years of marriage admitted to getting physically aggressive with one another. Although the researchers in that study explained that what they were researching was not domestic violence, this research makes it easy to see how blurry the line can be.

If you feel threatened or harmed in any way, you need to seek help as soon as possible. Period. That goes for women and men who are abused. It’s rarer – at least in part because of the stigma – but men seek help too.

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Top 7 Warning Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble

In most cases, especially in divorces, one spouse is caught off guard when the union finally breaks. That is why it pays, to pay attention to what is going on in your marriage.

Getting comfortable with the status quo and taking things for granted is one of the biggest mistakes married couples make. Below is a list of warning signs of a marriage in trouble.

1. You no longer, have anything in common.

Do you and your partner spend hours together under the same roof, at social engagements or performing routine errands, yet rarely engage in meaningful conversation? Living in silence is a primary symptom of major marital problems.

2. You Are Always Wrong.

Do you feel like your every action is being watched and criticized by your partner? Can you do no right in their eyes? Do you feel intimidated or afraid because of your partner’s constant criticism? Too often partners will funnel larger relationship issues into negative criticism of day-to-day tasks.

3. You are the last to know.

Is you partner no longer sharing information with you about his career, personal problems or personal achievements? Is your partner sharing this information with a friend and you hear it second hand? When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge breakdown in communication.

4. Indifferent About personal appearance.

Over time, your comfort level will inevitably end that desire to look "perfect" for every encounter with your partner. However, a drastic decline in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse could be a sign of they no longer care or, are happy in the marriage.

5. Hiding Away From the problems.

If the television is on constantly, you both sit with your face buried in a book or you always have something else that needs to be done there may be a problem. It is common for individuals to find such distractions to avoid dealing with a troubled marriage.

6. Repeated Arguments Over trivial issues.

If your arguments become routine with all the same issues and no resolution, then your marriage is either standing still or dying fast. You may need the assistance of a counselor to help find solutions to the problems that don't seem to go away.

7. Intimacy no longer matters to you.

A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife. If your partner is showing no or very little interest intimacy with you then they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband/wife.

Can Separation Save A Marriage?

Sometimes, married life may become extremely stressful and the couple may find it miserable to live together. When this happens, some couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the difference between both the partners.

In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart though legally remaining married. The question is, can separation save a marriage and does it really work?

There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts.

A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.

Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.

Along with these options or after trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder can separation save a marriage; is it an appropriate way to save a marriage?

Yes, it may be helpful as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.

During the period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, think over it and then take the final decision. This separation period gives you ample time to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married life and ways to resolve them.

An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be an effective answer to the question -can separation save a marriage?  

Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep trying.

The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationships.

For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down, cool off and pray focused prayers. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.

In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time-line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both you should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period.

The answer to the question ‘can separation save a marriage’ lies within the person himself/herself. It is personal. You need to realize how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her.

“Help, My Partner Is Cheating on Me”: How Can I Save My Relationship

Cheating of one or both partners can strongly affect a martial relationship. An extra-marital affair is always a heart-breaking and embarrassing situation for both the partners, and it indicates the failure of companionship and married life.

The most important base of any marriage is trust and faith which may get weakened due to the extra-marital affair.

This may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which when it crosses the limits can result in separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both partners. You should try to save your relationships after cheating.

It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations. Remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationships after cheating.

It is quite obvious that you would get angry with your partner. But cool down and try to know why your partner is cheating on you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situation, you can grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.

Whatever may be the reason of cheating, you ability to ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating.

When you realize that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out about his/her willingness to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her realize how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.

If you are successful in developing a deep love for each other, then the problem can be easily solved. The important step you should take to save your relationship after infidelity is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things which gets your partner hurt.

Plan to spend vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.

If you are the partner who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is significant when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.

If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond to him/her in a positive way. You should also express deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need him/her and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will surely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.

When both of you make efforts to save your relationship after a case of infidelity, it becomes easier to successfully improve your relationships and live happily together.

How Can I Alone Save My Marriage?

Marriage is one of the happiest happenings in our lives. But marriage involves a day by day devotion if it is to survive the challenges of life. Yes, we may have wedded a partner but we need to be committed to keeping our marital vows afresh on a daily basis.

The unfortunate question asked by many couples today is, “Can I save my marriage alone? This is true because many couples are facing so many problems in their married life.

The first few years of married life are usually cheerful. But after some years, problems may arise due to conflicts, bitterness, misunderstandings or unfulfilled expectations.

Generally, nobody directly thinks of breaking a marriage as it is hurting to both the partners. Every couple tries to find out some ways to resolve the problems in their married life and save their marriage.

Once you agree that there are some problems in your married life, you may need to think and find the reasons why. Of-course, it will be just like a one-way traffic and it is quite difficult that you alone should try to improve your relationship.

Your partner should equally respond to your efforts to save your marriage. However, you must make some efforts to find out the problems in your home and develop some qualities within you to maintain a better relationship.

The first step you may need to take in order to save your marriage is to bring back the spark in your relationship again. It is very important to spend time with each other. You may use this time to relax and enjoy in each other’s company and recall the moments that you had spent together.

This may help to remove the misunderstandings and resolve the conflict, if any. You should show deep love for your partner and make him/her feel how much you need him/her.

Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple bound together. You may send a romantic message to your partner or arrange for the romantic outings.

Self-assessment is a very important solution to the question can you save a marriage alone. You should be able to realize your mistakes and develop ways to improve your behavior. Avoid the things that may hurt your partner. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings. Hence, you should kill your ego and should take the initiative to resolve the problems in your married life. You should be ready for the compromises it demands.

Good communication is a very important factor for developing healthy relationships. You should share all your problems, expectations and feelings with your partner. Communication is not limited to just talking with others, but you should be able to listen to your partner and understand him/ her. The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner and have faith in your relationship.

Keeping the marital relations alive is very challenging. Always remember that during the course of time, both partners may change. It is also very important to learn how to deal with these changes. Of-course, it requires efforts and cooperation from both sides. But, endeavour to take the initiative and start to work on the problems in your home.

If you are still wondering, if you can save your marriage alone, the answer is yes! You can save a marriage alone if you are ready to put in some efforts first.

“Jennifer Garner Ruined Her Marriage Even Before Ben Affleck Cheated With The Nanny”

According to Matt Damon, the marriage of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner had been nearly over even before Affleck cheated on her.

Sources said that Garner also had her share in ruining their marriage, and Damon believes that Affleck is better off with another woman.

“Matt believes Ben’s marriage was in shambles way before the nanny; there was too much anger there. If she had just loosened up a bit, things would have been different.” Apparently, Affleck affair with their kids’ nanny, Christine Ouzounian, was just part of their marital issues and had been the last straw that led to the split.

But despite their rumored miserable separation and upcoming divorce, Garner and Affleck still continue with their co-parenting.

Previously, reports said that Garner wanted Affleck out of their house, but recently, sources said they are still spending time together at their family home.

“Nothing has changed,” a source told PEOPLE.

The source added that while Affleck is no longer living in the main house, he is staying at a rental home nearby, making it easier for him to see Garner and the kids.

In fact, Garner and Affleck went to church service last Sunday with their kids, Samuel, Violet, and Seraphina. They were also seen shopping in a local farmers market on the same day after which they also had dinner together.

“They are working together and are keeping it amicable,” another source close to the couple previously told PEOPLE. “This is something they have been working on for over a year – and they continue to be strong unit.”

Although things might have been nasty between them after the cheating scandal broke out, Garner and Affleck continue to remain friendly not just for the children but for themselves as well.

“It’s not just for the kids – it’s also for them,” a source adds. “They care about each other.”

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