9 Ways To Lower Your Cancer Risk

 

These lifestyle choices may make cancer less likely.

You’ve seen the hype-filled headlines: “The Cancer Prevention Diet!” “Slash Your Risk of Cancer in Half in Just Minutes a Day!” Is it true that you can cut your cancer risk with simple choices you make every day?

Well, there’s nothing magic about cancer prevention, no “killer app” that can instantly keep you healthy. Genetics play a big role in cancer, so even if you try to live a perfectly healthy life, it’s possible that you may develop cancer.

But experts estimate that at least a third of all adult cancer cases are linked to lifestyle, which is within your control.

With every healthy choice you make -- and every unhealthy habit you drop -- you’re chipping away at your cancer risk. Here are eight of the healthiest habits you can develop to help prevent cancer (plus a ninth one that experts are still cautious about).

What Are Your Cancer Risks? Find Out Here

1.         Be Smoke Free.

Lung cancer kills more women and men in the U.S. than any other cancer -- 28% of all cancer deaths, or about 160,000 people every year. The vast majority of those deaths are due to smoking.

And that’s just lung cancer. Smoking has also been linked to more than a dozen other cancers and accounts for 30% of all cancer deaths overall.

That's why many doctors will tell you that the biggest anti-cancer step you can take is to stop smoking, or never start. But even if you’re having trouble quitting entirely, you can reduce your cancer risk significantly by just cutting back.

A study that appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2010 found that smokers who cut back from about 20 cigarettes per day to less than 10 per day reduced their lung cancer risk by 27%. It’s a good first step, but don't stop there; quit completely for your health's sake.

Even if you’re a nonsmoker, don’t assume smoke isn’t permeating your life. About 3,000 cases of lung cancer each year occur as a result of exposure to secondhand smoke, and there are strong indicators that other cancers may be linked to secondhand smoke as well.

 “If you’re in a closed bar or nightclub and 100 people in there are smoking, you might as well be,” says Mack Ruffin IV, MD, MPH, a professor in the department of family medicine at the University of Michigan and an expert in preventive oncology. “If you leave a bar and your clothes smell of tobacco, you’ve inhaled a lot of cigarette smoke.”

So think twice before spending regular nights out in smoke-filled clubs, or letting your child ride home regularly with someone who smokes in the car.

2.         Don't Weight.

Many people probably know that carrying too much weight around isn’t good for your heart, but did you know that it’s a major risk factor for cancer as well? Obesity is the culprit behind some 14% of cancer deaths, and more than 3% of new cancer cases, every year.

“Our No. 1 recommendation for cancer risk reduction is to stay as lean as possible within a healthy weight range. This may be one of the most important ways to prevent cancer,” says Alice Bender, MS, RD, manager of nutrition communications at the American Institute for Cancer Research (AICR).

In November 2007, the AICR put out an expert report summarizing how food, nutrition, and physical activity affect cancer and cancer prevention. Being overweight, according to the AICR report, is linked to a wide variety of cancers, including esophageal, pancreatic, gall bladder, breast, endometrial, and kidney cancers.

3.         Bust a Move.

All forms of physical activity help to prevent many forms of cancer, according to the AICR Expert Report. You may not get six-pack abs with 30 minutes of moderate exercise every day, but a number of studies have found evidence that just this much physical activity can cut your risk of many common cancers by 30% to 50%.

“It doesn’t matter that much what kind of exercise you do, or when - just do it,” Ruffin says. “Let’s correlate it to smoking.

If you can cut your weight down to a healthy range, increase your physical activity, and increase your fruit and vegetable intake. That’s the equivalent to stopping smoking if you were a smoker. People don’t understand how important these factors are, because they creep up over your life span.”

4.         Plant Your Plate.

There are a number of different foods that may help to prevent certain types of cancer. “For example, tomatoes, watermelon, and other foods containing lycopene have evidence showing that they probably reduce the risk of prostate cancer,” Bender says.

But if you’re aiming to slice your risk of many cancers across the board, load your plate with plants, particularly non-starchy vegetables and fruits. That’s why the AICR report’s No. 4 recommendation is to eat mostly foods that come from plants -- at least 14 ounces every day.

The Mediterranean diet, St. Tropez diet, and the green diet all are based on a diet rich in fruits and vegetables. Diets that tend to prevent cancer are rich in plant-based foods.

AICR’s “new American plate” plan offers an easy cheat sheet on eating to prevent cancer. Fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains should cover two-thirds of your plate; the other one-third should contain lean meats, fish, and low-fat dairy.

5.         Drop the Drink.

When it comes to health, alcohol wields a double-edged sword. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that light alcohol consumption, especially red wine,may be beneficial for heart health.

But on the other hand, it appears that any alcohol consumption can raise your risk of cancer.

“For cancer, there is no safe level of alcohol,” Bender says. “It’s a dose response: The more you drink, the greater the risk, especially for certain cancers like those of the mouth, throat, and esophagus.” And if you smoke, too, the combined effects of drinking and smoking shoot your risk for these up even higher.

What to do? Both the AICR expert report and the American Cancer Society recommend that women limit alcohol consumption to no more than one drink per day, and men no more than two.

6.         Shake Off Stress.

“People always want to know if stress can raise your cancer risk,” Ruffin says. “There’s no convincing evidence that, by itself, stress is an independent risk factor for cancer.

But what it cando is lead people to engage in unhealthy behavior in an effort to cope with stress. If you’re overeating, drinking, or smoking to self-medicate your stress away, those behaviors all raise your cancer risk.”

So instead, Ruffin recommends finding healthy ways of coping with stress, like exercise (which helps to reducecancer risk), meditation, and journaling.

7.         Pull Down the Screens.

Many screening tests for various cancers, like mammograms and prostate-specific antigen (PSA) testing, don’t actually prevent cancer -- they just catch it at a very early stage, when it may be more treatable.

But other tests, like Pap tests and colonoscopies, can help detect precancerous changes that, if left untreated, can turn into cervical cancer or colon cancer.

There are many confusing messages about what screening tests different people should use, and when. Instead of trying to figure it out on your own, Ruffin says, talk to your doctor about your individual situation.

Take screening mammograms, for instance. The question isn’t “Should women under 50 get mammograms?” but “Should I, given my own personal situation and family health history, start mammograms before 50?”

“And don’t think one conversation is enough,” Ruffin says. “Things about your health situation change, and so does our knowledge about cancer and screening. Ask your doctor about it this year, and next year, and the year after that.”

8.         Dig Your Roots.

Ruffin advises all of his patients to learn their family health histories in detail. “Family history is where we can really create a personalized strategy for cutting cancer risk and catching it early,” he says. “But it’s a piece I don’t think people bring up nearly often enough.”

So next time you have a family reunion, make it a project to gather information on who’s had what health condition and when. “Gather on Skype or Facebook or face to face and talk about this,” Ruffin says.

The Surgeon General’s Family Health History Initiative lets you create a personalized diagram that you can download to keep on your own computer, or copy and share with other family members to keep the info flowing.

9.         Aspirin -- Maybe, and with a Dose of Caution.

Should you take aspirin to prevent cancer? The jury’s still out, but at least some evidence points that way.

A large study published in 2010 found that daily use of low-dose aspirin can cut the risk of death due to certain cancers (primarily lung, colorectal, and esophageal cancer) by as much as 21%.

But regular aspirin use can come with side effects, especially stomach bleeding and irritation. Most experts say it’s way too soon to recommend a cancer-fighting aspirin a day.

“We’d all like preventing cancer to be as easy as taking a little pill, but the fact is that you’ll reduce your cancer risk much more by maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, and eating fruits and vegetables than you will by taking aspirin,” Ruffin says.

Talk to your doctor before you start taking aspirin on a regular basis for any reason.

Culled:

15 Cancer Symptoms No Man Should Ignore

You eat pretty well (some days) and work out (most days). But if you’re like a lot of men, a trip to the doctor isn't on your to-do list. That can be bad if it means you brush off early signs of cancer.

One of the best ways to fight the disease is to catch it in the early stages, when it’s more treatable. The problem is that the warning signs for many kinds of cancer can seem pretty mild.

Take a look at these 15 signs and symptoms. Some are linked more strongly to cancer than others, but all are worth knowing about -- and even talking over with your doctor.

1.         Problems When You Pee

Many men have some problems peeing as they get older, like:

•           A need to pee more often, especially at night

•           Dribbling, leaking, or an urgent need to go

•           Trouble starting to pee, or a weak stream

An enlarged prostate gland usually causes these symptoms, but so can prostate cancer. See your doctor to check on the cause of the problem. He’ll give you an exam to look for an enlarged prostate, and he may talk to you about a blood test (called a PSA test) for prostate cancer.

2.         Changes in Your Testicles

"If you notice a lump, heaviness, or any other change in your testicle, never delay having it looked at," says Herbert Lepor, MD, urology chairman at New York University Langone Medical Center.

"Unlike prostate cancer, which grows slowly, testicular cancer can take off overnight." Your doctor will look for any problems with a physical exam, blood tests, and an ultrasound of your scrotum.

3.         Blood in Your Pee or Stool

These can be among the first signs of cancer of the bladder, kidneys, or colon. It's a good idea to see your doctor for any bleeding that’s not normal, even if you don't have other symptoms.

Although you're more likely to have a problem that's not cancer, like hemorrhoids or a urinary infection, it's important to find and treat the cause.

4.         Skin Changes

When you notice a change in the size, shape, or color of a mole or other spot on your skin, see your doctor as soon as you can. Spots that are new or look different are top signs of skin cancer.

You’ll need an exam and perhaps a biopsy, which means doctors remove a small piece of tissue for testing. With skin cancer, you don't want to wait, says Marleen Meyers, MD, an oncologist at NYU Perlmutter Cancer Center.

5.         Changes in Lymph Nodes

Swollen lymph nodes, small bean-shaped glands found in your neck, armpits, and other places, often signal that something's going on in your body. Usually, they mean your immune system is fighting a sore throat or cold, but certain cancers also can make them change.

Have your doctor check any swelling that doesn't get better in 2 to 4 weeks.

6.         Trouble Swallowing

Some people have trouble swallowing from time to time. But if your problems don’t go away and you’re also losing weight or vomiting, your doctor may want to check you for throat or stomach cancer.

He’ll start with a throat exam and barium X-ray. During a barium test, you drink a special liquid that makes your throat stand out on the X-ray.

7.         Heartburn

You can take care of most cases of heartburn with changes to your diet, drinking habits, and stress levels. If that doesn’t help, ask your doctor to look into your symptoms. Heartburn that doesn't go away or gets worse could mean stomach or throat cancer.

8.         Mouth Changes

If you smoke or chew tobacco, you have a higher risk of mouth cancer. Keep an eye out for white or red patches inside your mouth or on your lips. Talk to your doctor or dentist about tests and treatments.

9.         Weight Loss Without Trying

Pants fitting a little looser? If you haven’t changed your diet or exercise habits, it could mean that stress or a thyroid problem is taking a toll.

But losing 10 pounds or more without trying isn’t normal. Although most unintended weight loss is not cancer, it’s one of the signs of cancer of the pancreas, stomach, or lungs. Your doctor can find out more with blood tests and tools that make detailed pictures of the inside of your body, like a CT or PET scan.

10.       Fever

A fever is usually not a bad thing -- it means your body is fighting an infection. But one that won't go away and doesn’t have an explanation could signal leukemia or another blood cancer. Your doctor should take your medical history and give you a physical exam to check on the cause.

11.       Breast Changes

"Men tend to ignore breast lumps because breast cancer isn't on their radar," Meyers says. "But 1% of all breast cancers occur in men, although they're usually diagnosed much later."

Don’t take any chances. If you find a lump, tell your doctor and have it checked.

12.       Fatigue

Many types of cancer cause a bone-deep tiredness that never gets better, no matter how much rest you get. It’s different from the exhaustion you feel after a hectic week or a lot of activity.

If fatigue is affecting your daily life, talk to your doctor. She can help you find the cause and let you know if there are ways to treat it.

13.       Cough

In nonsmokers, a nagging cough is almost never cancer. Most go away after 3 to 4 weeks. If yours doesn’t, and you’re short of breath or cough up blood, don't delay a visit to your doctor, especially if you smoke.

A cough is the most common sign of lung cancer. Your doctor can test mucus from your lungs to see if you have an infection. He may also give you a chest X-ray to check for another problem.

14.       Pain

Cancer doesn’t cause most aches and pains, but if you’re hurting for more than a month, don’t just grin and bear it. Ongoing pain can be a signal of many types of cancer, especially those that have spread.

15.       Belly Pain and Depression

It’s rare, but depression along with stomach pain can be a sign of cancer of the pancreas. Should you worry? Not unless this cancer runs in your family, Meyers says. Then you need to see your doctor.

Culled:

15 Cancer Symptoms No Woman Should Ignore

 Women's bodies are always changing. Sometimes changes that seem normal can be signs of cancer, though.

The key is to pay attention to your body so you can notice when something's different, says Robyn Andersen, PhD, of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle. "New symptoms indicate something has changed in your body, and you want to know what that means."

So, what should you watch for?

1.         Breast changes

Most breast lumps aren't cancer, but your doctor should always check them. Let her know about these changes, too:

• Skin dimpling or puckering
• Nipples that turn inward
• Nipple discharge
• Redness or scaling of your nipple or breast skin

To look for the cause of your symptoms, your doctor will do a physical exam and ask you questions about your medical history. You may also have tests like a mammogram or a biopsy, when doctors remove a tiny piece of tissue for testing.

2.         Bloating

"Women are natural bloaters," says Marleen Meyers, MD, an oncologist at NYU Langone Medical Center. "It's OK to wait a week or two to see if it goes away."

If your symptoms don't get better with time, or if they happen with weight loss or bleeding, see a doctor. Constant bloating can sometimes mean ovarian cancer. 

You'll have a pelvic exam as well as blood tests, and sometimes an ultrasound, to look for the cause of the problem, Andersen says. 

3.         Between-Period Bleeding

If you’re still getting periods, tell your doctor if you’re spotting between them. Bleeding that’s not a part of your usual monthly cycle can have many causes, but your doctor will want to rule out endometrial cancer (cancer of the lining of your uterus). 

Bleeding after menopause is never normal and should be checked right away.

4:         Skin Changes

A change in the size, shape, or color of a mole or other spot is a common sign of skin cancer. See your doctor for a thorough exam and perhaps a biopsy. This is one time you don't want to wait, Meyers says.

5.         Blood in Your Pee or Stool

Talk to your doctor if you're bleeding from a part of your body that normally doesn't, especially if the bleeding lasts more than a day or two, Meyers says.

Bloody stool is often from hemorrhoids, but it can also be a symptom of colon cancer. Bloody urine is usually the first sign of cancer of the bladder or kidneys.

6.         Changes in Lymph Nodes

Lymph nodes are small, bean-shaped glands around the body. Most changes in them come from common infections. But some cancers, including leukemia and lymphoma, can also cause lymph nodes to swell.

It's a good idea to see your doctor if you have a lump or swelling anywhere in your body that lasts a month or more, Meyers says.

7.         Trouble Swallowing

Occasional trouble swallowing is nothing to worry about. But when it happens often, especially with vomiting or weight loss, your doctor may want to check you for throat or stomach cancer. 

He'll look into your symptoms with a throat exam and a barium X-ray. During a barium test, you drink a special liquid that makes your throat stand out on the X-ray.

8.         Weight Loss Without Trying

Most women wish extra pounds would magically melt away. But losing 10 pounds or more without a change in your diet or exercise habits could signal a problem.

Most unintended weight loss is not cancer, Meyers says. It's often caused by stress or your thyroid, but it can be a sign of pancreatic cancer. Stomach and lung cancers are also possible. 

Your doctor may ask for a lot of tests to look for a problem, including blood tests and imaging tests, like a CT scan.

9.         Heartburn

Too much food, alcohol, or stress (or all three) can cause serious heartburn. Meyers suggests that you change your diet for a week or two to see if your symptoms get better. 

If that doesn't help, talk to your doctor. Heartburn that doesn't go away or gets worse could mean cancer of the stomach, throat, or ovaries.

10.       Mouth Changes

If you smoke, watch for white or bright-red patches inside your mouth or on your lips. Both can signal oral cancer. Ask your doctor or dentist about tests and treatment.

11.       Fever

A fever that doesn’t go away and can't be explained could mean leukemia or another blood cancer. Your doctor should get the details of your medical history and give you a physical exam to check for the cause.

12.       Fatigue

A lot of women are tired because they lead hectic lives. But extreme tiredness that won’t go away isn’t normal.

Talk to your doctor if your fatigue never gets better or if you have other symptoms, like blood in your stool. Your doctor will ask for your complete medical history and give you blood tests. 

13.       Cough

Most coughs go away on their own in 3 to 4 weeks. Don't ignore one that lasts longer than that, especially if you smoke or are short of breath. If you cough up blood, go to the doctor. A cough is the most common symptom of lung cancer.

14.       Pain

Cancer doesn’t cause most aches. But ongoing pain can signal bone, brain, or other cancers. Ask your doctor about any unexplained aches that last a month or longer.

15.       Belly Pain and Depression

It’s rare, but belly pain plus depression can be a sign of pancreatic cancer. Should you worry? Not unless pancreatic cancer runs in your family, Meyers says. "Then you need a prompt [exam]."

Culled:

Sex Drive Killers for Married People

Sex is a necessary part of marriage. But many married people do not really enjoy their sex lives while some are confined to sexless marriages, where a spouse feels there isn’t enough sex or there is no sex at all.

One spouse may want sex every night and the other spouse only wants it a couple of a week. For some, their partners can stay off six for even up to six weeks without blinking an eye. 

The problem for many people is simple low sex drive, and this makes a huge difference in the sexual needs of spouses. 

There are many causes of differing sex drives in the marriage.  Here are some of the commonest ones:

1.         Stress

For some people, many things may go well even when they're stressed. But feeling sexy usually isn't one of them. 

Stress at work, home, or in relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how to handle it in a healthy way really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a counselor or doctor can also help.

2.         Partner Problems

Problems with spouses are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. 

For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. If it's tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples’ counselor.

3.         Alcohol

Just a simple drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive. Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help.

4.         Too Little Sleep

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you're not getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? 

Anything that messes with a good night's rest can mess with sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn't help, talk to your doctor.

5.         Having Kids

You don't lose your sex drive once you're a parent. However, you do lose some time to be close with kids under foot. 

To solve this, hire a babysitter to nurture some time to be partners as well as parents. If you have a new baby, try sex during baby's nap time.

6.         Medication

Some drugs can turn down sex desire. Some of these types of medications include:

• Antidepressants
• Blood pressure medications
• Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don't)
• Chemotherapy
• Anti-HIV drugs
• Finasteride

Switching drugs or dosages may help - ask your doctor about that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if your sex drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.

7.         Poor Body Image

Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even if you're working to get in shape. 

Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure them that they're sexy.

8.         Obesity

When you're overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could be that you don't enjoy sex, can't perform like you want to, or are held back by low self-esteem. 

Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if needed, may make a big difference.

9.         Erection Problems

Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. 

Note that ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship. 

10.       Low Testosterone

The "T" hormone, testosterone, fuels sex drive. As men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the desire for sex as this happens, but some do. 

Many other things - from relationships to weight - also affect a man's sex drive and testosterone levels, so there's not a one-size-fits-all answer for every man.

11.       Depression

Being depressed can shut off pleasure in many things, including sex. That's one of many reasons to get help. 

If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some (but not all) depression drugs lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, too.  

12.       Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims around menopause. That's partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex.

But every woman is different, and it's possible to have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship, self esteem, and overall health.

13.       Lack of Closeness

Intimacy provokes strong emotional feelings. Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. 

Talk, cuddle, exchange messages, etc. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.

Adapted: 

 

Erectile Dysfunction in Married Men: Real Causes And Solutions

 

Many people associate erectile dysfunction with growing older; and married men are more susceptible to the problem. But the simple truth is, Erectile dysfunction (ED) is NOT a natural part of aging. Men can have loving, fulfilling, and active sex lives well into old age.

ED is more common than people realize. According to the US National Institutes of Health, approximately 5 percent of men age 40 and between 15 percent and 25 percent of men age 65 experience ED on a long-term basis.

In the USA alone, an estimated 30 million men struggle with ED. The risk of erectile dysfunction increases with age but is not caused by age. About 40 percent of 40-year-olds struggle with ED and 70 percent of 70-year-olds have the same problem.

More and more researchers are recognizing the link between sexual health and chronic diseases like diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure. The more advanced these diseases are, the more at risk a man is of erectile dysfunction.

ED has a strong association to cardiovascular disease. Studies have found that ED may precede a patient's heart attack by five years.

Many people don’t realize that ED actually starts when a man doesn't sustain his erections for as long as he or his partner would like. The good news is that ED can be corrected, and often times, reversed. Several studies have shown that changing your diet, exercise levels or other health habits have been shown to improve the symptoms of ED in men.

Correcting Erectile Dysfunction:

1.         Exercise
A study of almost 300 racially diverse men showed that physical activity was linked to improved sexual function and erectile dysfunction symptoms. More studies have revealed that men were able to improve ED symptoms after regular exercise.

2.         Quit Smoking
An extensive study showed that men with ED who were able to quit smoking cigarettes were able to improve their ED symptoms after one year, compared to the men who continued their tobacco habit.

3.         Diet
A study found that men who chose a more Mediterranean diet and ate more vegetables, fruits, nuts, whole grains and olive oil improved their vascular health and "reduced the prevalence of ED in men with the metabolic syndrome."

4.         Weight
A massive study surveyed over 30,000 men between the ages of 53 and 90 years old and found that men who became obese had a 40 percent increased risk of developing ED than those who didn’t become obese.

It's never too late to make a lifestyle change. However, too often physicians treat ED with erectile enhancement drugs and ignore the underlying problems, but those pills may not be all that they claim to be.

According to research, Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra have less than a 50 percent refill rate, despite the happy guys that you see on the television commercials. And for those that continue taking them, these erectile-enhancing drugs impact your whole body and can produce dangerous side effects outside of the much talked-about four-hour erection.

A 2010 study from the Archives of Otolaryngology - Head and Neck Surgery demonstrated that men over age 40 who were taking erectile dysfunction drugs had a doubled risk for hearing loss.

So if things in the bedroom aren't quite what they used to be, first see your doctor to rule out other underlying health concerns. Then follow your doctor’s prescription and recommendations.

Adapted:

Requirements For Court Marriage In Nigeria

 "I Brother Wale accept Sister Nneka as my wife today, to have and to hold, for better, for worse…”

“As Bother Wale and Sister Nneka have agreed to be joined in holy matrimony …I pronounce they should both live together as husband and wife from today…!”

Marriage, the time-honoured institution, is built on the premise or foundation that a man joins a woman to become one. And over the years, similar words as these above have marked the joining of a man and his wife in marriage.

It is the dream of most young people to see their relationships end in marriage and in spite of diverse cultures and traditions, the consummation of marriage evokes the same joy and emotive feelings everywhere.

But in present day Nigeria with harsh living situation resulting from the economy and other conditions where people live and take decisions on the spur of the moment, many young people – intending couples do not consider court marriage as necessary. To many people, once they do the traditional rites or traditional marriage and go for church blessing, they are done.

But the court marriage is an essential part Nigeria’s customary law which guides.

According to a Marriage Registry Officer in Lagos, “The reason why many intending couples shy away from court marriage is simply ignorance. They think the process is cumbersome or very expensive. People seem to have a fear for anything government and attribute misconceptions to the process”.

So what are the requirements?

1.         A registration fee (of about of N7, 500:00) is mandatory. But in Lagos, this fee varies according to the category of the local government office where the Registry is located. In Lagos for instance, there bare categories A, B, and C. In most cases, with an average cost of N12,000 the entire process would be completed.

2.         The intending couples are to present valid copies birth certificates or declaration of age.

3.         Two passport photographs each of the intending couple

4.         The notification to marry will be posted on the board of the Registry for 21 working days from the date of filing registration to marry. The 21 days is to allow time for objection to the union by any concerned member of the public. At the expiration of the 21 days, the intending couple and Marriage Registry would proceed with the wedding.

An official of a Marriage Registry in Lagos informed marriage Alive Digest that no case of a queried marriage has been experienced for over three years. 

But at the pint if joining the couple, if there is a query from anyone, the Registry would attempt to resolve the matter as best as it could. And it can defer a wedding for a maximum of three months. If the matter is not resolved after the three months, the intending couple is expected to file for a new registration and the previous one become void.

5.         Most weddings fall on Thursdays. But on special demand (which attracts special fees) the wedding could be done on Saturday

6.         The intending couple is expected to undergo two days marriage counseling at the Registry before the wedding date.

7.         Official photographs on the wedding day. 2 copies are to be in the custody of the Registry for record purposes. Professional photographers are usually found in the premises of the Marriage Registry

8.         Couples are expected to wear wedding gowns or to dress formal as they wish. The basic need here is for couples to dress neat and formal as much as possible. At least, it is a happy day!

9.         Two witness to sign the marriage register – for the bride and the groom. The witnesses must be present as this cannot be done in proxy.

10.       A wedding ring is required. But in place of this, the Bible or Koran is a substitute. It should be note that the marriage law in Nigeria is based on the English common law.

From all indications, intending couples do not need to fear formalizing or legalizing their union. The demands or requirements are simple and straight forward.

There are more benefits to gain in legalizing your marriage than there is to lose if you don’t. And even if you have been married traditionally or otherwise for many years, you can still approach the marriage registry near you. There is no penalty for coming late!

Signs Of An Abusive Marriage And How To Protect Yourself

Here are signs that demonstrate that you are in an abusive relationship:

Financial Abuse

If you share your finances, you should both have a say in how you invest and spend your money, where it goes, etc.

You are in an abusive relationship if your spouse will not let you work or takes the money you earn away from you. If he or she will not allow you to further your education or gives you a small allowance that is not enough to live on, then he or she is using money to control your whereabouts and your ability to leave him or her more easily.

Emotional Abuse

Most people are guilty of calling their spouse a name or two in the middle of a heated argument. But if your husband or wife is constantly belittling you – referring to you by offensive names, degrading you in front of others, criticizing your housework or behavior, putting down your appearance, and making you feel badly about yourself, then you are a victim of emotional abuse.

Wearing you down emotionally might make you feel as though no one else will ever love you and that you deserve to be treated badly. No one deserves that.

Stalking/Harassment

Some jealousy in a relationship can be healthy. It’s understandable if your husband would rather you didn’t e-mail your ex-boyfriend now that you’re married. But if he checks all your e-mails and interrogates you about the men with whom you work, friends, or even relatives, then there’s something more sinister going on.

Certainly, if he begins following you to work, the gym, etc. or calling constantly to know exactly what you’re doing, then you have a problem. This is a sign that he wants to control your every move and that he doesn’t trust you. A marriage – or any relationship for that matter – without trust lacks true love and is broken.

Threats to You or Your Family

When your spouse is threatening to hurt you, your family, or your children, you must take it seriously – even if you don’t think he or she would actually follow through.

People would not threaten you if they didn’t want to scare you, which is abuse in and of itself. Plus, what if he or she did make good on the threat? After all, he or she said it. Is that a risk you really want to take?

Sexual Abuse

Fewer people come out and talk about sexual abuse in their romantic relationships and marriages. But it happens. Many boyfriends or husbands force their partner to perform sexual acts that are painful, violent, or make them feel uncomfortable, she adds. If your spouse forces you to do something you don’t want to do, it is abuse and it’s another way to control the relationship and you.

Physical Abuse

Some people say that the abuser did not leave a mark or only lightly slapped them, and he or she apologized and won’t do it again. This is still abuse. And it will probably happen again, she adds.

If your husband hit you once, he’ll likely do it again. You alone can not help him. You must first think about your own safety.

Still, it’s difficult for some people to know when they are in danger.

About 25 percent of 172 couples from Los Angeles who participated in a recent study on couples during their first five years of marriage admitted to getting physically aggressive with one another. Although the researchers in that study explained that what they were researching was not domestic violence, this research makes it easy to see how blurry the line can be.

If you feel threatened or harmed in any way, you need to seek help as soon as possible. Period. That goes for women and men who are abused. It’s rarer – at least in part because of the stigma – but men seek help too.

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