Signs Of An Abusive Marriage And How To Protect Yourself

Here are signs that demonstrate that you are in an abusive relationship:

Financial Abuse

If you share your finances, you should both have a say in how you invest and spend your money, where it goes, etc.

You are in an abusive relationship if your spouse will not let you work or takes the money you earn away from you. If he or she will not allow you to further your education or gives you a small allowance that is not enough to live on, then he or she is using money to control your whereabouts and your ability to leave him or her more easily.

Emotional Abuse

Most people are guilty of calling their spouse a name or two in the middle of a heated argument. But if your husband or wife is constantly belittling you – referring to you by offensive names, degrading you in front of others, criticizing your housework or behavior, putting down your appearance, and making you feel badly about yourself, then you are a victim of emotional abuse.

Wearing you down emotionally might make you feel as though no one else will ever love you and that you deserve to be treated badly. No one deserves that.

Stalking/Harassment

Some jealousy in a relationship can be healthy. It’s understandable if your husband would rather you didn’t e-mail your ex-boyfriend now that you’re married. But if he checks all your e-mails and interrogates you about the men with whom you work, friends, or even relatives, then there’s something more sinister going on.

Certainly, if he begins following you to work, the gym, etc. or calling constantly to know exactly what you’re doing, then you have a problem. This is a sign that he wants to control your every move and that he doesn’t trust you. A marriage – or any relationship for that matter – without trust lacks true love and is broken.

Threats to You or Your Family

When your spouse is threatening to hurt you, your family, or your children, you must take it seriously – even if you don’t think he or she would actually follow through.

People would not threaten you if they didn’t want to scare you, which is abuse in and of itself. Plus, what if he or she did make good on the threat? After all, he or she said it. Is that a risk you really want to take?

Sexual Abuse

Fewer people come out and talk about sexual abuse in their romantic relationships and marriages. But it happens. Many boyfriends or husbands force their partner to perform sexual acts that are painful, violent, or make them feel uncomfortable, she adds. If your spouse forces you to do something you don’t want to do, it is abuse and it’s another way to control the relationship and you.

Physical Abuse

Some people say that the abuser did not leave a mark or only lightly slapped them, and he or she apologized and won’t do it again. This is still abuse. And it will probably happen again, she adds.

If your husband hit you once, he’ll likely do it again. You alone can not help him. You must first think about your own safety.

Still, it’s difficult for some people to know when they are in danger.

About 25 percent of 172 couples from Los Angeles who participated in a recent study on couples during their first five years of marriage admitted to getting physically aggressive with one another. Although the researchers in that study explained that what they were researching was not domestic violence, this research makes it easy to see how blurry the line can be.

If you feel threatened or harmed in any way, you need to seek help as soon as possible. Period. That goes for women and men who are abused. It’s rarer – at least in part because of the stigma – but men seek help too.

Source