Top 7 Warning Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble

In most cases, especially in divorces, one spouse is caught off guard when the union finally breaks. That is why it pays, to pay attention to what is going on in your marriage.

Getting comfortable with the status quo and taking things for granted is one of the biggest mistakes married couples make. Below is a list of warning signs of a marriage in trouble.

1. You no longer, have anything in common.

Do you and your partner spend hours together under the same roof, at social engagements or performing routine errands, yet rarely engage in meaningful conversation? Living in silence is a primary symptom of major marital problems.

2. You Are Always Wrong.

Do you feel like your every action is being watched and criticized by your partner? Can you do no right in their eyes? Do you feel intimidated or afraid because of your partner’s constant criticism? Too often partners will funnel larger relationship issues into negative criticism of day-to-day tasks.

3. You are the last to know.

Is you partner no longer sharing information with you about his career, personal problems or personal achievements? Is your partner sharing this information with a friend and you hear it second hand? When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge breakdown in communication.

4. Indifferent About personal appearance.

Over time, your comfort level will inevitably end that desire to look "perfect" for every encounter with your partner. However, a drastic decline in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse could be a sign of they no longer care or, are happy in the marriage.

5. Hiding Away From the problems.

If the television is on constantly, you both sit with your face buried in a book or you always have something else that needs to be done there may be a problem. It is common for individuals to find such distractions to avoid dealing with a troubled marriage.

6. Repeated Arguments Over trivial issues.

If your arguments become routine with all the same issues and no resolution, then your marriage is either standing still or dying fast. You may need the assistance of a counselor to help find solutions to the problems that don't seem to go away.

7. Intimacy no longer matters to you.

A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife. If your partner is showing no or very little interest intimacy with you then they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband/wife.

Top 10 Causes Of Marital Discord

 

Below is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict; consider how you are currently dealing with these issues, and how you could better deal with these issues:

1.         Money problems.

Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues. How you decide to deal with money problems in your marriage will determine whether these problems have a negative or positive effect on your marriage.

2.         Children.

Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples. A child could become the number one source of pressure in a marriage and can accentuate differences in beliefs on issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what educational options to choose.

3.         Sex.

Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of stress and disharmony in a marriage.

4.         Time apart.

Time apart and a lack of quality time together serves to get people out of sync with each other.

5.         Household Responsibilities.

Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it. Instead of sitting down and dividing household chores fairly they quibble over who did or didn’t do what.

6.         Friends.

Not all friends are helpful to relationships some of them are toxic. Be sure you know the difference between a friend who will enhance your relationship and one who will break it down.

7.         Irritating habits.

Many people are married to someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable. My ex never got angry with me. I ask him once why and told him there had to be things I did that irritated him. He responded by telling me he “loved everything about me.”

This was shortly before he decided he no longer loved me! So, don’t be afraid to point out habits that irritate you, just be sure you do it in a non-defensive way.

8.         Family.

In-laws, siblings, children and step-children can all create stress within a marriage. When coping with negative issues because of family step gently. Our spouse should come first but there are times you have to be willing to take a backseat and bite your tongue. 

9.         Expectations.

We all go into marriage with certain expectations. Most of the time, marriage is the opposite of what we expected. We romanticize marriage and become disillusioned once those romantic expectations aren’t met. Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages.

10.       Personality conflicts.

Is your personality ruining your marriage? There are personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure. Are you a conflict avoider? Do you like to “one-up your spouse? Do you bend over backwards to please your spouse, neglecting your needs in the process? If you answered yes to any of these, your need to work on changes these negative personality traits.

Each of the above is a very common problem dealt with in a marriage. Although they are problems, they can also be opportunities for growth, learning and accord. Whether these issues remain problems causing stress in your marriage or become an opportunity for growth is up to you.