Simple Ways To Build A Lasting Marriage (Part 2)

Marriage involves uniting two different people with the expectation of facing life’s challenges together as one. This is God’s expectation for you and your spouse. 

But for couples to essentially overcome life’s obstacles, they must first be a team. The ability of you and your spouse to overcoming issues and becoming fulfilled is tied to how close you are to each other and to God. 

This may seem hard, but it is the key to happiness in marriage and you can achieve it.

Here are a few ways to build a lasting marriage and overcoming life’s obstacles together as a couple:

1.         Pray Together Regularly

Praying together helps in taking away some pressures of your shoulders, especially for the husband and helps everyone align their expectations. 

Establish and maintain a habit of praying with your spouse for wisdom, direction, and strength in your marriage – and to communicate with God concerning specific issues that each of you have. 

If circumstances (such as distance, nature of work, etc) do not permit you to pray face-to-face, pray over the phone together or arrange a time and pray over itemized issues.

2.         Don’t Fight Over Every Issue

Disagreements would surely come in marriage; but choose your battles wisely. Don’t let minor irritations in your relationship grow to become problems. 

Note that you both have personal habits, idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and you need to allow your spouse some space and grace. Use time and energy only on disagreements about major issues that you all really need to work through and resolve for the health of your marriage.

3.         Encourage Each Other’s Dreams And Goals

Spouses ought to help themselves bring out the best in each other by encouraging each other to pursue their God-given dreams.

Don’t compel your spouse to follow your path if he or she is not cut out for that. Don’t let one spouse’s dreams get neglected. Strive to allocate your shared attention, time, energy, and money so that both of you can pursue your God-given dreams to bring the best out of your union.

4.         Kill Anger

“Till death do us part…”we normally say. But a lot of spouses kill each other daily with their mouths and actions. 

Be careful not to hurt your spouse through the ways you express your anger (such as by speaking harsh words or throwing objects).

Ask God to give you the self-control you need to direct your anger in healthy, productive ways (like motivation for solving problems) rather than in destructive ways. 

When you’re arguing with your spouse and are having trouble controlling your anger, take a break and resume discussing the issue later when you’re not too tired or stressed.

5.         Always Remember Your Commitment To Each Other

Please note that love is never constant. It fluctuates. As your marital love matures, the intense romantic feelings you had for each other initially will fade, because they’ve already accomplished their purpose of getting you all to focus on each other. 

How do you then progress in marriage? You need to build your love on the commitment you and your spouse made to each other, which is much more reliable than your feelings. Fall back on your commitment when your feelings seem to falter.

6.         Grieve When You Lose; But Hold Hands Still And Don’t Quit

 Marriage is simply not a bed of roses. Challenges would inevitably come. Expect to experience some difficult losses and disappointments together sometimes in this fallen world. 

But whenever that happens, deal with each other gracefully, supporting each other with whatever you all need to grieve in your own ways while relying on God to help you through the process. Don’t jump ship when the times are tough!

7.         Keep Learning, Growing, And Adjusting Together

Marriage is a school, an institution where no permanent solutions are found. It is a union where you keep refining and re-shaping yourself. 

During every new day of your marriage that God gives you and your spouse, choose to follow God as He leads you on new adventures, so you both can become the people God intends you to become.