Having a sound marriage and healthy
relationship in a time where divorce seem to be overtaking many people would
seem to a great achievement; but it is by far better to build a marriage that
keeps growing stronger over time in spite of challenges and obstacles.
This is God’s expectation for you and
your spouse. It is not just trying to hang onto your marriage or to endure; but
for you and your spouse to grow closer to him and each other every new day of
your lives together.
Here are a few ways
to build a lasting marriage and overcoming life’s obstacles
together as a couple:
1. Put
Your Trust in God:
Yes, the future is largely unknown
and couples can’t tell the future circumstances or challenges that might arise;
but you and your spouse that press on if you trust God – who knows.
When we ask for God’s help daily, He
strengthens our bond and our resolve to face challenges. He gives us wisdom to know
how best to deal with situations as they arise.
2. Surround
Yourselves With Positive People
Marriage is
like a community. It does not solely begin and end with you and your spouse.
You need strong network of positive people around.
As a couple, you need to build close
relationships with friends and family who are God fearing and who believe in
the sanctity of marriage. It is always helpful to have married positive friends
because you can support each other in ways that strengthen each other’s
marriages.
A positive friend will pray with you,
encourage you, teach you accountability, and also give useful help when needed.
3. Always
Communicate With Your Spouse
When you and your spouse are
communicating honestly and openly about the decisions that each of you faces on
a regular basis it reduce misconceptions, tension and friction.
Keep a line of communication open all
the time. Don’t surprise your spouse by deciding something that affects both of
you without first discussing it together. Check in with each other for regular
conversations to stay in touch with each other.
4. Disagree,
But Always Respond With Love And Respect
Disagreements in marriage are bound
to occur occasionally in marriage essentially because you are different people
with different points of view. But focus on understanding each other’s
perspectives rather than trying to figure out who’s right and who’s wrong.
Carefully listen to each other and
value your spouse’s opinions. Reaching a mutual agreement at such times is the
best way to go.
But after lovingly and respectfully
discussing the issue and yet you both can’t
agree, the husband should make the final decision based on what he thinks is
best, bearing in mind that he should love his wife sacrificially, take her viewpoint
seriously, and make every effort to meet her needs in the decision process.
5. Don’t
Stop Dating Each Other
The world may be busy and running on
rocket speed, but make time in your schedules regularly to go on dates together
so you can enjoy fun and relaxing time as just the two of you.
Note that your dates don’t have to be
complicated or expensive. After all he/she is your spouse. But your marriage would
benefit from dates as simple as evening walks around your neighborhood or
lunches out while your kids are in school or on play dates.
6. Work
Together As A Team
The strength of every team lies in
everyone manning where they are strong. A team draws upon each other’s strengths to work effectively.
As a couple, don’t force each other
into rigid roles based on what husbands and wives traditionally do at home. Instead,
let each person do the household tasks that he/she can do best, according to
the abilities that God has given him/her.
You and your spouse uniquely endowed
by God to do certain things better. So if your wife is better at mechanical
repairs than you, let her fix whatever breaks down at your house. If your
husband is better at cooking than you, let him prepare your family’s meals.
Find a way to discover how you both
function best and use those strengths so your home will function well as a team.
7. Cast
Your Burdens Onto God Through Prayer
Whenever situations make you or your
spouse anxious, pray about them, trusting God to intervene in those situations
and guide and empower you to deal with them well.
As you trust God, He will give you
peace. Simply trade your worries for His peace.
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