A lot of couples go through stress
and anxiety due to infertility and many seem to get lost in the crisis that
follow such issues.
But should infertility cause
problem in a marriage?
Kemi and Akpan are the perfect
couple. They met and dated during their senior year in high school and had been
inseparable ever since. After a long
wait, they were finally engaged right after finishing college. After less than
a year of university, they decided to tie the knot.
The first few months as newlyweds
were a bliss. They were so in love that
there wasn't even room for even a single petty quarrel. But on their second year as husband and wife,
things began to change. Suddenly, both began to feel the pressure and
frustration of still having an empty nest.
Their romance and intimacy was slowly eroded by the sense of
incompleteness – childlessness!
Kemi was so consumed about having
her own child that she eventually drifted away from Akpan. In her mind, marriage was all about having a
family. At times, she would feel very
depressed and think that maybe she was at fault. At the back of her mind, she
was worried that something was wrong with her and that is reason why she has
not been able to conceive.
Akpan had his own share of stress
and anxiety in their marriage. Even if he tried to hide his frustrations, he
could not help but express his envy whenever his best friend Kunle spoke about his one-year old son and how his
wife Aisha was expecting their second child.
The couple found family reunions
and other occasions with relatives to be particularly difficult. The couple was always bombarded with
questions about when they would finally have children of their own. The sight of nephews and nieces made them
more sensitive to the fact that they were childless.
Both of them had to endure
endless questions, jokes, stares, and the noise of happy children. They would not have minded the laughter,
crying, and screams of the children - except that these little packages of
energy and fun were not their own.
For such a long time, Akpan and
Kemi exchanged accusation and blame for not having a child of their own. The
stress and anxiety of not having a child almost took a toll on their
marriage. Fights became more frequent
and the moments of intimacy became rarer - which further complicated their
problem. How could they have a child if
they were always fighting?
With the prodding of a mutual
friend, Kemi finally agreed to go with Akpan to go see a doctor. After a series of tests, the doctor told them
that Kemi was perfectly capable of getting pregnant. The doctor also said that Akpan had a very
low sperm count which could probably explain why Kemi still could not get
pregnant.
Like this couple, many couples
experience problems with infertility. In
fact, in Nigeria ,
about one in every ten couples face infertility challenges each year, or about
10 percent of all married couples.
Infertility is the failure of a couple to become pregnant after one year
of regular and unprotected intercourse.
Under ideal circumstances, the
probability that a woman will get pregnant during a single menstrual cycle is
only about 30%. In many cases, infertility is caused by a combination of
factors in both partners that conspire to prevent such conception from
occurring.
Infertility affects one in 25
American men. Men infertility cases are due to low sperm count or poor sperm
quality. In most industrialized countries like the U.S, sperms counts have been
found to be in a decline especially among busy, career-driven men.
But this can be effectively
treated with the right medication.
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