Tuesday 11 November 2014

Coping With Love (When Infertility Comes Between Your Marriage)

   
A lot of couples go through stress and anxiety due to infertility and many seem to get lost in the crisis that follow such issues.

But should infertility cause problem in a marriage?

Kemi and Akpan are the perfect couple. They met and dated during their senior year in high school and had been inseparable ever since.  After a long wait, they were finally engaged right after finishing college. After less than a year of university, they decided to tie the knot.

The first few months as newlyweds were a bliss.  They were so in love that there wasn't even room for even a single petty quarrel.  But on their second year as husband and wife, things began to change. Suddenly, both began to feel the pressure and frustration of still having an empty nest.  Their romance and intimacy was slowly eroded by the sense of incompleteness – childlessness!

Kemi was so consumed about having her own child that she eventually drifted away from Akpan.  In her mind, marriage was all about having a family.  At times, she would feel very depressed and think that maybe she was at fault. At the back of her mind, she was worried that something was wrong with her and that is reason why she has not been able to conceive.

Akpan had his own share of stress and anxiety in their marriage. Even if he tried to hide his frustrations, he could not help but express his envy whenever his best friend Kunle  spoke about his one-year old son and how his wife Aisha was expecting their second child.

The couple found family reunions and other occasions with relatives to be particularly difficult.  The couple was always bombarded with questions about when they would finally have children of their own.  The sight of nephews and nieces made them more sensitive to the fact that they were childless. 

Both of them had to endure endless questions, jokes, stares, and the noise of happy children.  They would not have minded the laughter, crying, and screams of the children - except that these little packages of energy and fun were not their own. 

For such a long time, Akpan and Kemi exchanged accusation and blame for not having a child of their own. The stress and anxiety of not having a child almost took a toll on their marriage.   Fights became more frequent and the moments of intimacy became rarer - which further complicated their problem.  How could they have a child if they were always fighting?

With the prodding of a mutual friend, Kemi finally agreed to go with Akpan to go see a doctor.  After a series of tests, the doctor told them that Kemi was perfectly capable of getting pregnant.  The doctor also said that Akpan had a very low sperm count which could probably explain why Kemi still could not get pregnant.

Like this couple, many couples experience problems with infertility.  In fact, in Nigeria, about one in every ten couples face infertility challenges each year, or about 10 percent of all married couples.  Infertility is the failure of a couple to become pregnant after one year of regular and unprotected intercourse.

Under ideal circumstances, the probability that a woman will get pregnant during a single menstrual cycle is only about 30%. In many cases, infertility is caused by a combination of factors in both partners that conspire to prevent such conception from occurring.

Infertility affects one in 25 American men. Men infertility cases are due to low sperm count or poor sperm quality. In most industrialized countries like the U.S, sperms counts have been found to be in a decline especially among busy, career-driven men.

But this can be effectively treated with the right medication.



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