Love Is Not Enough: Building Marriage on a Solid Foundation

 

Many couples enter marriage with deep love, but love alone cannot sustain a lifelong union. Without vision, values, and shared commitment, love may fizzle under the weight of life's challenges.

The Four Pillars of Lasting Marriage:

Vision & Purpose - Couples need a shared picture of their future together. Where are you headed as a team? What legacy do you want to build? Without common goals, you're two people walking parallel paths instead of one united journey.

Aligned Values - Your core beliefs about money, family, career, and faith must complement each other. Mismatched values create constant friction that erodes even the strongest feelings.

Daily Disciplines - Building a marriage requires patience, mutual respect, financial responsibility, and above all, faith in God. Love is the seed, but daily actions and intentional growth are what nurture it into a thriving marriage.

Communication & Conflict Resolution - Learn to fight fair, listen actively, and address issues before they become resentments. Many marriages fail not from lack of love, but from poor communication patterns.

Practical Steps:

• Weekly check-ins about goals and concerns
• Monthly budget reviews together
• Regular date nights without distractions
• Shared spiritual practices or values discussions

Love provides the motivation, but these foundations provide the structure. Without both, even the most passionate relationships crumble.

What are you doing daily to strengthen your marriage beyond feelings? Share in the comments.

 

The Power of Forgiveness in Marriage: The Foundation That Keeps Love Alive

 

Marriage is one of life's greatest adventures filled with joy, laughter, shared dreams, and deep connection. Yet even the strongest marriages face moments of tension, disappointment, and hurt. The difference between marriages that thrive and those that merely survive often comes down to one crucial element: forgiveness.

Why Every Marriage Needs Forgiveness

No marriage exists without conflict. Whether it's a thoughtless comment during a stressful day, a forgotten anniversary, a financial disagreement, or a deeper betrayal of trust, every couple will face moments where one spouse hurts the other. This isn't a sign of a failed relationship; it's simply part of being human.

The real question isn't whether these moments will happen, but how we respond when they do. When we hold onto resentment, replay past hurts, or keep mental tallies of our spouse's mistakes, we're building walls instead of bridges. These invisible barriers gradually erode intimacy, creating distance where there should be closeness.

What Forgiveness Really Means

Forgiveness is perhaps one of the most misunderstood concepts in marriage. Let's be clear about what it is and what it isn't.

Forgiveness is not:

• Pretending the hurt never happened
• Excusing harmful behavior
• Immediately forgetting what occurred
• Avoiding necessary conversations about the issue
• Becoming a doormat or enabling destructive patterns

True forgiveness is:

• A conscious choice to release resentment
• Choosing your marriage's future over your pain's past
• Opening the door for healing and restoration
• Refusing to let bitterness poison your heart
• Creating space for genuine reconciliation

When you forgive, you're not saying the offense was okay you're saying your marriage is worth more than your right to stay angry.

The Transformative Power of Grace

Forgiveness has the remarkable ability to transform not just individual hearts, but entire relationships. When you choose to forgive your spouse:

Trust begins to rebuild. While trust may take time to fully restore, forgiveness creates the foundation necessary for that rebuilding process to begin.

Emotional intimacy returns. Walls of resentment crumble, allowing couples to reconnect on a deeper level and share their hearts freely again.

Communication improves. When the fear of judgment decreases, both spouses feel safer to be vulnerable and honest with each other.

Love flourishes. Forgiveness clears away the debris of past hurts, allowing love to grow and mature in new ways.

Drawing from the Ultimate Example

For many couples, the motivation for forgiveness comes from recognizing the grace they've already received. The Christian understanding of marriage is deeply rooted in the love Christ demonstrated, a love that forgave completely, sacrificially, and unconditionally.

Just as Christ chose to forgive our failures, shortcomings, and deliberate wrongs, we're called to extend that same grace to our spouse. This doesn't diminish the pain we may feel, but it reminds us that we too have been recipients of incredible mercy.

When we remember how much we've been forgiven, it becomes easier to forgive others—even when they've hurt us deeply.

Practical Steps Toward Forgiveness

Forgiveness is both a decision and a process. Here are some practical ways to cultivate a forgiving heart in your marriage:

Choose forgiveness daily. Some hurts require us to forgive not just once, but repeatedly as we process our emotions and heal.

Communicate your feelings honestly. Share your hurt with your spouse in a way that seeks understanding rather than punishment.

Set healthy boundaries. Forgiveness doesn't mean removing all consequences or failing to protect yourself from ongoing harm.

Seek counseling when needed. Some issues benefit from professional guidance to navigate the forgiveness and healing process.

Practice gratitude. Regularly acknowledge the good things about your spouse and your marriage, creating a positive foundation for when difficulties arise.

The Choice That Changes Everything

Every marriage will face its share of storms. The couples who weather these challenges successfully aren't those who never face difficulties. They're the ones who choose forgiveness over resentment, grace over grudges, and love over lingering hurt.

Forgiveness isn't always easy, and it's rarely quick. But it's always worth it. When you choose to forgive your spouse, you're choosing to invest in your marriage's future rather than remain trapped by its past.

Your marriage can't survive without forgiveness, but with it, your relationship has the potential to become stronger, deeper, and more beautiful than you ever imagined possible.

What step toward forgiveness might you take in your marriage today?

 

Building Family Legacy

 Samson ruled Israel for 20 years—he was a national hero, a judge, a man of renown. Yet when his strength failed and his story ended tragically in the land of the Philistines, only his family came to bury him. Not the nation he led. Not the people he delivered. Just his family.

Pause and think: What does this reveal about family, relationships, and true loyalty?

When all is said and done—when the applause fades, the wealth disappears, the influence wanes—who will be there for you? Who truly stands by you not for what you have, but for who you are?

Let’s reflect on a few hard, but necessary questions:

Who are your real friends, and who is your family in heart and deed?

How do you treat your spouse, children, and close ones when things are going well?

Are you investing in relationships that will outlive your position, possessions, and power?

When life’s storms come, who will come for you—not out of duty, but out of love?

In a world obsessed with status, achievement, and public image, Samson's story reminds us: Family and genuine relationships are the only true wealth a man can rely on at the end of his journey.

💭 Let’s Talk:

Are you prioritizing the people who matter most?

How do we build families and marriages that stand the test of time and trials?

What kind of legacy are you leaving behind—not just in accomplishments, but in love and loyalty?

Let’s explore this together.

"My Husband, Wayne Rooney Cheated, But I Love Him Still!" - Coleen Rooney

When former Manchester United and England star and striker made national and international headlines not too long ago, for infidelity, many people expected the union to break. 

Indeed, Wayne and Coleen’s 20-year relationship has been marred with various cheating scandals – with the footballer making national headlines when he was found to have visited three prostitutes as a teenager.

Coleen, 37, married former footballer Wayne, also 37, in 2008 and their union has been at the centre of several scandals, with Wayne allegedly being involved with other women.

However, unlike many other Celebrity couple's whose marriages hit the rocks for related issues, the Rooney's are still waxing stronger. 

According Coleen Rooney her home and love life is her choice. She said she held on her husband Wayne after he cheated on her and insists her marriage is nobody’s business but hers.

In Coleen's views, the public may not know the full story despite people’s assumptions.

Together, Wayne and Coleen are parents to Kai, 13, Klay, 10, Kit, seven, and Cass, five.

Wouldn't you rather build your home than tie it apart? 

Did Marriage Change Manchester United's Andre' Onana?

It is usually said that marriage settles people, especially sportsmen and women.

It is true that a football player or athlete for instance, will be more focused on his professional career and the general tenets of the society where he lives.

Could this be the reason for the steady rise of Andre Onana, a professional Cameroonian footballer and Manchester United goalkeeper who has made tremendous mark in European football?

Andre Onana got married, Dr. Melanie Kamayou, a pharmacist, adding to their dynamic and accomplished partnership. Melanie is also a businesswoman and a philanthropist.

The couple got married when Onana was still the goalkeeper of Serie A giants, Inter Milan.

Melanie is reported to have been born in Paris, France and once lived in Algeria, Cameroon, France, and the USA, where she attended Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences.

As a multifaceted person, has become reputable in lifestyle and fashion.

Melanie won the Miss Cameroon USA 2010, thus underlining her sophistication, intelligence, and devotion to her heritage and culture.

The Onana’s co-chair and run the NGO @foundation_andreonana, a vehicle through which Andre gives back to the community and impacting the lives of so many people.

As Melanie inspires and uplifts those around her, we trust she would do same for Andre even as he soars in his career.

Snoop Dogg And His Wife...

So many celebrities marry and suddenly we hear the same old story of separation and divorce.

Why do celebrities suffer this trend?

In the case of Snoop Dogg, his marriage has grown over the years and he and his wife, Shante Broadus are still waxing strong 25 years later after marriage.

What then did this couple do right?

When you marry your soul mate, a friend and a wife combined, the bond is stronger and marriage becomes fun, not an institution like a military regiment.

Kudos to Snoop Dogg and Shante Broadus. We celebrate you guys. Keep the bar up there!

Understanding Why You Can't Find Your Self-Worth in Someone Else

Self-worth, self-esteem, a sense of self, etc. are all terms used to describe a feeling that is very hard to put a finger on. Some people call it confidence, others call it courage and many call it independence.

If you truly looked at it, what it all really boils down to is how much you love yourself. When growing up, it was common to judge yourself based on your grades, the number of friends you have, and so on.

As we get older, we still play the same ‘game’ in our mind. Only this time we compare wages, cars, houses and how good looking our partner or spouse is. We constantly measure our self-worth by comparing ourselves with someone else.

This is a HUGE mistake and it’s one of the reasons why so many people are dissatisfied, stressed out and never truly happy. Even when they progress, instead of being happy that they achieved a goal, after a short while they look at someone else who seems better off than them and they feel dissatisfied again.

This applies to relationships too. Men who are married for years suddenly feel old and crave the attention of a younger woman. They may cheat on their spouse or they may lose interest in life.

Their self-worth is tied to another human being or an idea of how life should be. Looking at ‘Casanovas’ who have numerous affairs makes them feel like a failure. Instead of appreciating their own life and partner, they crave for more.

If one gives in to these temptations, the consequences can be disastrous. Marriages can end in divorce. Finances can be sent into turmoil… and when one looks back on it all, they will feel hollow and realize that it was all for nothing. So many people look back in regret and have no idea why they did what they did.

They fail to realize that their self-worth was intertwined with external results, appearances and lofty goals. As long as your self-worth is linked to achievements and an impressive ‘image’, you will be on an emotional rollercoaster.

Life is full of ups and downs. What truly stands the test of time is knowing who you are despite your current position in life. There have been millionaires who have felt like they were at the top of the world, and all of a sudden, a financial crisis causes them to lose everything and they feel worthless.

Yet, they’re the same person. Your money and position in life do not determine your value. The man or lady who is a millionaire has the same amount of self-worth when they are broke and homeless. Who you are doesn’t change. Only circumstances have changed… and guess what?

You can always change them and make them better.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re looking to your partner to constantly assure you of your self-worth, this will be very stressful for them. Your “stores” will always get depleted and you’ll expect your partner to constantly replenish them make you feel good.

However, they have their own lives and needs too. They may need you to be supportive of them and motivate them too. So, how will you do that if your self-worth is running on empty and you’re depressed yourself?

Spend time deep in thought. Self-reflect often. Write down your achievements and goals. Appreciate how far you’ve come. Work on loving the person in the mirror who has weathered many storms and is still standing tall.

When you love yourself and respect yourself, you will feel better and be able to stay strong no matter what life throws at you. Your relationships will be better because you’ll stop expecting your partner to constantly like you. You will like yourself.

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do You Really Want Your Ex Back or Do You Fear Being Alone?

A relationship break-up is one of the most painful experiences in life to most people. It could either be a couple that breaks up after a few years or a marriage that ends in divorce. Either way, it feels like your heart has been ripped out and left in shreds.

Generally, there’s one party that feels worse than the other. The one who initiates the break up tends to be less hurt because they knew it was coming and made the final decision.

It’s the one getting dumped or divorced who feels the real impact. Not only does the entire relationship feel like a failure but it’s a huge blow to their ego too.

There are two ways to react when you’re thrust in such a situation. You can either accept the break up and move on, or try to work things out with your ex.

The problem here is that the one who got ditched is in a more vulnerable position. Their pain may make them do desperate things like texting their exes multiple times daily or begging for a second chance or resorting to other dramatic displays of desperation while hoping to tug at the heartstrings of the one who left them.

The unfortunate reality is that the more one pleads and begs, the more their ex shuns them. There is a power play at work here and understanding it is of paramount importance.

Never forget that you are a human being who is worthy of love and respect. Do not let your fear of being alone confuse you and make you think that you really want your ex back. All relationships are destined to go through hell, but the really strong ones get through it.

If you’ve been abandoned, it’s usually better to move on and find someone who will love you for who you are. Begging, pleading and cajoling your ex is pointless. A relationship is worth fighting for, but you shouldn’t be the only one doing the fighting.

Find your sense of self and appreciate yourself for who you are. Find new activities to take up your time. Time is your best ally. All pain dissipates with time. You just need to allow yourself the time to recover from the break up.

Forcing a relationship to work is pointless if your ex is not someone that can give you what you want. It’s fine to have a few bad relationships. These will teach you to recognize the good ones when they arrive.

Don’t fear dying single. This is a common fear that millions have. They worry about going through life all alone without a partner to share life with. They then end up hastily picking the wrong people as their partner and life becomes a living hell.

It’s better to let your ex go and understand that the relationship had to happen but it’s now time to move on. At the end of the day, you don’t need someone to complete you. You just need someone to love you completely… and you will find the right partner with time. Have faith.

 

 

Why Do Some People Seem to Have No 'Luck' in Finding Love?

You’ve probably seen or know someone who is constantly in and out of relationships. Every new partner that they choose turns out to be another ‘playa’ or ‘scumbag’ or ‘crazy woman’.

Despite their numerous relationships, one would expect them to do better and choose a better partner - but that’s never the case. Every new lover turns out to become just like the previous one. Maybe worse!

People in these situations even have a laugh and say that they’re a magnet that attracts all the wrong partners. But is this really the case?

Do they really have a case of no luck or bad luck? Or is there a root cause for all this confusion and disappointment.

Common sense will indicate that it can’t be a coincidence that these people keep choosing the wrong partners. There is another factor at play here – your sense of self-worth.

A common mistake made by many people is to choose Mr. Right Now, instead of waiting for Mr. Right. The whole idea of taking one’s time to carefully select a partner has become outdated.

The general idea is that no one is perfect so it’s just best to grab what is closest to you. The end result is you pick someone that’s easily available only to discover that they’re totally not right for you.

If you have a good sense of self-worth, you’ll be confident in your ability to find a good partner even if it takes you time. You’ll be less likely to tolerate abuse or nonsense from a partner too.

Many women endure partners who completely neglect them. The relationship is long dead, but they cling on to it hoping that it will work. Rarely do the relationships work, and the woman finally quits and feels bitter that she wasted so much time clinging to a husk of a relationship.

After that failed relationship, she mopes for a bit and jumps back into the dating scene and once again picks a man that is not right for her.

The same applies to men too. They want a woman who is faithful and someone level-headed, but they find a lady at the bar who is dressed in revealing clothing and acts wild.

She excites them and is merely ‘misunderstood’… and the knights in shining armor decide to try to make a “good woman” out of her. Rarely does that work out and to their horror, the princess they picked turns out to be a harlot. So, they end up cursing their bad luck when the relationship collapses and run for the hills.

You must spend time deciding what you want in a partner. If you’re a woman who is looking for someone emotionally and financially stable, don’t pick an out-of-work actor who is 5 years younger than you just because he has a set of washboard abs.

Once you get involved and try to “make it work”, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Either he never becomes the next Tom Cruise and ends up living off you, or he loses interest and goes off to find a younger woman. There may be a positive ending… but the odds are rarely in your favor.

This is the hard truth and so many people don’t wish to believe it. They hope for the candlelit dinners and happily ever afters… which never come. What happens is they move from one relationship to the next and the next… and keep losing their faith and hope of things ever working out.

Know what you want and choose your partner wisely. Spend time getting to know and love yourself. Once you can do that you will find a partner who is most suitable for you and you’ll no longer be unlucky in love.

 

 

Are You Attracting the Partner You Deserve?

 We live in a world where there are more divorces than successful marriages, more break ups than happy relationships and more unhappy singles than joyful couples. We’ve traded intimacy and sharing with one partner for quickies and superficial exchanges with multiple partners.

Sites like Tinder encourage quick meetups and people choose whom to go out with based on a small blurb on a website. Is it then any wonder that so many people have bitter and unfulfilled relationships?

The truth of the matter is that you must know your own self-worth before choosing a partner. This applies in two ways. Firstly, you need to understand that you are worthy of a partner who will treat you right.

There are millions of women in abusive relationships, but they stay on because of the occasional tidbit of love and attention that is thrown their way by their partner. They cling on to these little gestures while ignoring the fact that they are subjected to either emotional or physical abuse constantly.

It all comes down to how you view yourself. What is your self-worth?

If you feel like you’re unworthy of love, you’ll be grateful for any little bit of love or kindness that is shown your way. Having a partner (even if he or she is an abusive one) will seem better than having no partner at all.

Your sense of self needs to be better. You MUST understand that you deserve better and can get better. So many women feel trapped in a relationship and don’t leave because they fear being alone or not being able to get better.

What they don’t realize is that they can never find better unless they leave the current toxic relationship they’re in. You can only sail to new lands if you’re willing to lose sight of the shore.

Make a list of all the qualities you want to see in your potential partner. Know what you want and tell yourself that you deserve to be treated well. You do not have to be in a relationship when you’re constantly unhappy.

On the flip side, one also needs to be realistic when looking for a mate. There are thousands of women who post on their profiles a list of criteria that their partner should meet.

He needs to be over six feet, have good credit, have a muscular body and a great job and look better than a movie star. Yet, if you looked at the women’s profile, she is probably a single mother with two kids and on welfare.

Her demands are high, but she brings nothing to the table. In most cases, she will not find a partner who gives her the time of day and she will rue her fate and blame it on bad luck.

The key to getting the partner you deserve is to also be someone who is deserving of a good partner. Improve on yourself and strive to be the best possible you that you can be.

Once you do that, you’ll develop a healthy self esteem and be much more likely to attract partners who are on the same wavelength as you.

“Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery.” – H. Jackson Brown

 

Does Your Partner Consider You Attractive?

Many married people fell in love at first-sight with their partners and then other things fell in place that culminated in wedlock. However, many of such couples tend to lose the charm that attracted their partners to them in the beginning.

 

I have argued severally that love at first-sight began with the very first couple on earth - Adam and Eve.

 

To create the woman, the first man was put to sleep and the woman was formed out of his ribs. When he woke up from the sleep, did he reject or run away from the woman that was presented to him?

 

Of course no! It was love at first sight! The simple reason for this was the charm they both exuded.

 

They were both charming and attractive and there was a compelling attraction, beauty far beyond any other consideration. However, they did not lose this charm and lived many years together.

 

The question to married people today is: why do we lose our charm after marriage? Why do we fail to make our partners to continually crave for the sparks they saw in the beginning? 

·        No matter the job you do, always freshen up. Use perfume or deodorants if you have body odour.

·        Look good and presentable.

·        Shave those beards and cut those nails.

·        Untidiness is not a sign of humility.

·        Check your weight, eating habits, and other things that might put off your partner.

 

If your spouse dislikes your appearance, he/she will despise your presence. It is extremely dangerous for your other-half to be uncomfortable in your presence.

 

Humbly ask your partner to give you a list of what they wish you correct in your appearance and personality.

 

Your partner must be confident with you around. If you are a woman, note that if your dressing and appearance is a reflection of whom you belong to or represent. Don't misrepresent your husband or wife in public.

 

This is why couples are proud to show off their partners at ceremonies and social gatherings and they sometimes tell their partners to change their attires to conform to their taste or expectation.

 

No matter how long you may have been married or how old you are, make yourself attractive and charming to your partner. This is important because if a person runs away from one thing, he or she finds comfort in another and clings to it.

 

Don't be repulsive to your wife or husband. Don’t drive your beloved away! Do all you can now to refine your appearance to put a fresh spark into your marriage. 

Be attractive!

 

“We are Incompatible…” (Resolving Marriage Issues)

 

A popular adage says, “Love is blind”. Yes, this might be true. Love may be blind; but (marital) life isn't! The marriage setting is a place for reality. It comes with complexities and it is filled with tales of the unexpected.  

Note that automatic and inevitable stages of change emerge within the marriage union because when two people come from extremely different backgrounds, there are bound to be compulsory re-adjustments of values, character, and expectations. The ability and willingness to make these adjustments even as the couple remains sweet and loving will determine the success of the marriage. 

When couples get married, they necessarily come from two entirely different families. And even though we seek to marry partners we are compatible with, it is very unlikely that you find someone with no differences at all. 

Some people get married to those whose stardom, opulence, affluence and or beauty infatuated them, yet they do not share the same beliefs and values.  Some are forced to wrongly marry spouses, to cement or sustain family ties, even when the couple not compatible.

 So how would such marriages work; how would they resolve their differences?

If you perhaps suddenly realize that your spouse is not who (or what) you bargained for, do you just run away or give up? Or do you just fold your arms and conclude that whatever will be, will be? No!

 According to John Fischer, “The success of marriage comes not in finding 'the right' person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married!” This is very crucial.

 As married person, you must realize that when you focus on your spouse's weaknesses, you would end up weakening your marriage relationship. You must be determined to blend your differences rather than forcing your partner to become like you.

 It is important to note that men and women think differently. Women are usually moved by feelings or intuition while men focus on depths of issues. There is therefore bound to be differences in the way husbands and wives act or react to things.

 No matter how bad your beginning may be or how incompatible you are, you can turn things around and become successful lovers. Indeed, “What counts in making a marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility”

 Understanding, compromise and acceptance will help you overcome your differences. This can be achieved firstly through communication and sharing information with your spouse. 

·        What is it that makes your partner tick?

·        What loving thing can you do to make your partner react and relate with you positively? 

What are the things your partner will responds to? These could involve:

·        Spending time together

·        Helping at home and other personal tasks

·        Giving each other gifts

·        And verbal appreciation 

        

Another strong way to handle incompatibility is that you must realize that, loving your partner is a choice. You have to develop the will to love your partner and communicate this to them.

 Communication enhances change. It opens a person up for correction, education and direction. It enables you to carry your spouse along and get her (or him) to believe in your values and goals. 

Communicating with your partner will enable you to candidly and honestly resolve issues, which will definitely emerge.

 As a couple, you need to patiently take time to identify such issues or problems, and resolve them promptly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DIVORCE CASE: "My Husband Feels I am Am Burden..."

A couple from Kogi State living in Mararaba, Nasarawa state have set for the dissolution of their five year-old marriage.

Sadinatu Adamu, married to Yakubu Abdulmajid, approached the Upper Area Court in Mararaba on Thursday that her husband perceives her a burden on him.

Mrs Adamu in her divorce petition accused Abdulmajid of battery and maltreatment.

“My marriage brought me no peace and happiness.

“I married Abdulmajid in April, 2017 according to Islamic Laws and customs of Ankpa in Kogi and we have two children.

“He beats and humiliates me at the slightest provocation. I cannot take any longer. I am afraid that one day he’ll kill me.

“He refers to me as a burden,” she told the court.

She alleged that he flogs her with sticks and his waist belt.

“I told my husband’s family, but they did not get him to change rather, he threatened to kill me,” she said.

The petitioner pleaded with the court to dissolve the marriage and to compel the respondent to allow her move her remaining belongings from his house.

The respondent, who was present in court, did not object to the allegations levelled against him.

The judge, Mohammed Jibril, however, adjourned the case until Dec. 7 for ruling or consideration of settlement

NAN

"I Don't Control My Husband.."

Popular comedienne, Anita Asuoha, aka Real Warri Pikin, has opened up on the challenges she faces being a public figure.

Real Warri Pikin and husband, Ikechukwu

She disclosed that people often insinuate that she controls her husband because of the support he gives her.

Speaking with Saturday Beats, Anita said, “They say I am controlling Ikechukwu. They should leave my husband for me. Once a marriage is happy, people will say the husband is a ‘mumu’ (fool), and that the woman is controlling the husband. I hear that a lot of times.”

Noting that her husband and children completely support her brand, she said, “My husband and my children support me a hundred per cent. If my husband does not support me, I would not grow. Seeing that it is what makes me happy, he supports me.”

Regarding those who give her unsolicited advice about her marriage, she said, “If the person is older, I would just say ‘thank you’. But, I would go ahead to do whatever I want to do that I know is right. But if they are younger, I might insult them. If a man wants to be part of his children’s life, let him. It mustn’t be the woman’s responsibility alone.”

The comedienne, who made a social media post during the week referring to some married women as single mothers, emphasised what she meant. “Many married women are single mothers because they are left to take care of the children alone with little or no support from their husbands,” she said.

Proffering suggestions on how women can get their husbands to help them, she said, “Women should stop being enablers. If your husband does not support you with chores and childcare, or if he used to support you and stopped, especially if the two of you are both working, you need to communicate with him about it. Two people are working but only one person comes back to do the chores; that is wickedness. If you are a housewife, that is an entirely different situation.”

Selflessness: The Key To Successful Marriage

The marriage bond is the highest relationship man and woman can ever experience; and its integrity, security and success can only be guaranteed when the couple is truly love each other and pursue selfless ideals.

It is a common fact that every husband (or man) wants to lead; he wants to be praised, obeyed and respected. But can a husband get all these by just seeking it? 

In marriage, we grow love and receive authority/submission when we care, give and serve our spouse. And doing this gives you greater joy and marital fulfillment in return. 

We need to learn how to give our partners what we know they need. Rather than push them away, give them what they want.

Successful marriages are built on love and selflessness; and it is achievable. The simple way to do this is to firstly accept that God loves you and wants you to enjoy your marriage. God has placed His love inside of you, because without having love, you cannot give love.

Secondly, allow sincere love to genuinely flow through you to your spouse and children. If you do away with selfish desires and become open to your husband or wife, you would not only please your beloved, your home will become sweeter.

Living a life of compromise which leads to fulfillment and sweetness in marriage comes by choice. Put your spouse first and watch your marriage transform. 

Three things you must note include:

Your character and what you give out determines who you are.

Marriage runs smoother on the wheels of compromise. 

You must shed every garment of ego, pride and selfishness.

Someone once said that love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. This is love and compromise at work. 

My Wife Is Too Stubborn…

Your spouse may be stubborn, lazy, rude, aggressive, and uncompromising. She may  perhaps be contrary to your expectations. Do you just send her away? 

Indeed it is your responsibility to build you spouse to become what you desire. It takes compromise, tolerance and patience.

Before you label your partner as a misfit, you need to ask yourself these questions: 

What value have I contributed or added to my wife since we got married? 

How have I assisted her to fulfill her dreams? 

What changes or adjustments have I personally made to make my marriage better? 

What habits do I need to drop to grow my marriage?

As a wife, in spite of your background or the circumstances surrounding the consummation of your marriage, don't condemn your partner. 

Be submissive to your husband.

Honour him. 

Be interested in his business, values, beliefs and spirituality.

Fellowship with him and go to church with him. 

Serve and honour his God. 

Remember that you are not only a wife to him; you are a mother to him, his friend and lover.

Let him know you trust him. 

Don't criticize or question his authority in public. 

Don't insult him.

Don't discourage him or disparage his achievements. 

Praise his efforts (even if they are little). 

Note that, you are his greatest encourager as well as his worst critic. If other people kill his ego and self-esteem, don't help them to bury him.   

How To Build Your Marriage Through Compromise - Give and Take

Building and enjoying a successful marriage is perhaps the most fulfilling thing we could ever achieve. If your marriage is not right, it consumes you and you can become bitter, impatient, frustrated and dissatisfied.

Marriage makes many couples find a new purpose and meaning to life. This is why successful homes are fertile grounds to grow stable children and good springboards to lunch successful career in diverse fields.  

Having a successful marriage involves:

- Compromise

- Giving and expecting no reward in return

- It is a setting where forbearance thrives. 

You must realize that your spouse becomes charming, sweet and special to you if you love and nurture him/her. But if you wait for spouse to be perfect before you truly love him or her, then your marriage would be unsettled.

Don't expect to enjoy your marriage if your sole philosophy is “as you lay your bed, so you lie on it!” Your partner can ruffle things. But you just have to tag along. 

Marriage is an alliance between a man who like to sleep with the lamp on and a woman who likes it off. Perhaps the lamp would be half on and half off!

It is indeed easy to love and be kind to people who love us and are kind to us. However, if someone is a little terse or critical, we become resentful and as critical and unkind as they are. 

But this would not work in marriage. If your partner is pulling the other way, you can turn the situation around by just a little compromise, which is an act of love.

Allowing your spouse to have his or her way is not weakness. Rather, it is love. Marriage is place to give preference to your partners.

- Praise your wife or compliment her new hair style even if you had a bad day at the office. 

- Compliment her cooking even if she forced the wrong meal on you. 

- And, Madam, tell your husband that he is doing great even if times are hard and you wish to scream at him.