Signs Of A Solid Relationship (Building A Solid Relationship / Marriage In 2016 - 2)

In our last post on building a solid marriage/relationship (read it here), we mentioned there are 5 signs to tell if your relationship is solid and how you can make that desired improvement.

Here are what you must do in 2016:

1.         There is Mutual Enjoyment:

The Union should bring benefits to both parties in the marriage. If only one person is favoured, then such a relationship is like a table with two legs waiting to fall.  The marriage union provides:

•                   Sexual benefits:    Romance and sex should be mutually enjoyed by the husband and the wife; not one using the other as a toy or tool.  Do you satisfy your spouse in the bedroom?

•                   Emotional enjoyment:    Feelings of affection, love and being wanted, cherished and cared for is a prerequisite for joy in marriage. Can your spouse confidently say you cherish him/her? Do you do the same?

•                   Psychological Enjoyment:  Marriage affects how we talk, act and how we relate with others. The union should have a positive impact on the mental state, attitude and character of the parties.

•                   Societal Enjoyment:  Are you happy you married your spouse? If you are ashamed to go out or walk with your in public, then you don’t have a solid marriage. If you marry your spouse merely to keep him/her away as a secret weapon who must never have dealings with other people, yet you do, that union is not solid. It is one-sided.

2.         There is Mutual Respect:

A solid union is one where there is respect for each other’s feelings, opinions, values and expectations. Do you take decisions that affect your spouse and expect him/her to just endorse them? Do you put down your spouse in public or before his/her friends, colleagues, relatives, and /or children?

Besides, does your being married to spouse convey any respect or value on him/her? How is he/she viewed outside?

3.         There is Mutual Trust:

Without trust, the very foundation of any relationship would be shaky. A union without trust but filled with repeated suspicion is nothing but an accident waiting to happen.

Marriage is like a garment. When it is torn, it cannot be sewn with ‘cellotape’. The only thread that keeps couples bonded together is trust.

Trust does not involve fidelity or infidelity issues alone. It includes morals, character discipline and how you handle your spouse’s finances. Can your spouse trust you to remain faithful to him/her when money is involved? Can you be trusted to manage your spouse’s?

4.         There is Shared Challenges / Experiences:

In a solid relationship, things bothering one party bother the other. Challenges, problems and trials are shared just as victories and successes are jointly celebrated.

A marriage where each person is left to fight their own battles and only meet in bed or the dinning table is not solid.  A marriage where the couples does not concern themselves with what affects the other party is not solid.

5.         There is Give & take – Reciprocity:

A solid marriage is not where only one person gives or contributes to the union. Such a relationship would not last, and if it does, it would not be enjoyable.

Couples need to reciprocate kind gestures, affection and love. But reciprocating does not necessarily mean you give back in same quantity. Rather you give in truth, sincerity and openness, the measure you can realistically give back.

Now you can tell if your relationship is solid or not. But remember, marriage is a house you build everyday, continually. Keep improving what you can and cut off things that threaten your relationship.

I wish you happy union in 2016.