Marriage Without Love...

Marriage without love is immoral! But is love ever enough?

5 Investments Every Married Couple Should Make

 

If you want to grow your finances, the best way is investment and deliberately making plans and taking steps to change your lot. But do we really do the same for our marriages and family?

Do you want to grow your marriage? Here are a few bite-sized things to consider doing as a way to invest in your marriage:

1.         Connect Spiritually 

One of the most beautiful aspects of marriage comes with the opportunity to emotionally and spiritually connect with another human being. Add to that, the gift of Christian marriage that gives us an opportunity to connect, not only with one another, but with a holy and almighty God.

Oftentimes, believing couples tend to take their spiritual connection for granted, forgetting that some of the most intimate moments in marriage are when we’re sharing our hearts, communicating what’s in our spirit, and interacting about our relationship with God.

If you’re looking for a really powerful way of investing in your marriage, consider setting some time aside weekly or even daily to pray together and share about what God is doing in each of your lives.

2.         Communicate Regularly 

Believe it or not, the average married couple spends just minutes a day in active and meaningful communication. It’s also a known fact that communication gets less and less with each year of marriage.

This is saddening, because there is so much joy in being able to communicate with your spouse. 

Each level of conversation is important, and has to be deliberately worked into conversation. If you want to do something small that will have a big impact on your marriage, set aside 10-20 minutes a day sitting face to face with your spouse, for the sole purpose of communicating.

Don’t let this be the time to discuss conflict or problems, but just a time to catch up and keep up with one another. 

What was the best part of your day today? or What’s something I can do to help you out this week? The goal of this time is to enjoy each other and encourage one another. 

3.         Touch Often

Before having children, many couples many couples tag along fine. But what happens afterwards?

Many couples hardly ever have any physical contact with each other. No hand-holding. No snuggling on the couch. No arms around the shoulder.

But fast forward a few years and a few kids later, and I totally understand the struggle of trying to connect physically with your spouse, all while being pulled in a million different directions.

But even during seasons of life when it’s hard to come by, physical touch is such an important part of investing in your marriage. Take inventory of your marriage, and find times (or even schedule times if you have to!) where you can be deliberate about holding hands, kissing often, making love, or even doing something as simple as touching your spouse’s back as you pass them in the kitchen.

Physical touch conveys to your spouse that: I notice you, I desire you, and I want to be near you. Talk about a great investment!

4.         Confess and Forgive Frequently

As much as we talk about confession and forgiveness, I believe we often fail to apply it in the context of our marriages, because let’s be honest, it’s a hard task!

The idea of being vulnerable and sharing your weaknesses and shortcomings with another person can be a really hard pill to swallow…which is precisely why God calls us to do it. The practice of letting down our pride in the act of confession opens the door for the opportunity to forgive, which is the sacred glue that holds marriages together.

The couples who are highly satisfied in marriage, are not the ones who have the least amount of disagreement, but the ones who have the most forgiveness. God has forgiven each one of us of so much, and those who live in that freedom are freed to forgive others.

Invest in your marriage by taking the time to search your heart frequently, being honest with your spouse about the things you are longing to change and the areas you need to ask for forgiveness.

5.         "Get Away" Weekly

They say that couples who “pray together stay together”. But I think it can also be said that couples who play together, have the most fun! Life can get busy, and the stress of it all can make us lose sight of the fact that God wants us to enjoy one another and the life he’s given us.

Invest in your marriage by taking one time a week and setting aside the time to go out (or stay in if you can’t afford a weekly sitter) and do something fun!

Play a board game on the living room floor, go out for a fun dinner, take a hike, pack a picnic lunch, or even go on a scenic drive. 

Rekindle your love for one another, by rekindling your friendship.

Investing in your marriage often means doing small things deliberately that will ultimately have a huge impact. Whether you’ve been married for 5 days, or 50 years, it’s never too early or too late to start making a difference in your marriage.

5 Things You Must Know When Your Spouse Struggles with Depression

1.                  Depression is a whole-body problem. It affects our thoughts, actions, feelings, relationships and even our faith-walk. It can literally take over and distort every aspect of our life.

2.                  People don't ask to get this problem and they can't simply will it away. While treatment of depression is very effective, it often requires individual counseling, couples counseling as well as medications. Most people experience relief when they are willing to aggressively tackle the problem.

3.                  Depression impacts marriages. It steals joy and life. It robs not only the person suffering from it, but their mate, their children, their friends and family. This compounds the problem, creating even more distance, and more abandonment and isolation.

4.                  Depression is treatable. If you are willing to seek treatment through individual, couples and medication intervention, most recover. Communication in marriage improves, helping the individual rise out of their depression.      

5.                  Finally, seeking God's help is critical. He is the ultimate source of our joy and promises to give to us life in abundance. Faith in God often leads to seeking wise counsel in these other areas of our lives. Developing a comprehensive treatment plan includes looking at the way we think, dealing effectively with the concrete problems in our lives, obtaining the support of our family as well as enriching our faith-life.

Finding joy is possible, though this may have been missing in your life for some time. Consider whether or not depression has been a secret part of your relationship struggles and if so, seek help.

Adapted from Dr. David Hawkins

15 Cancer Warning Signs Men Ignore

 

As the New Year unfolds, people, especially fathers and husbands get preoccupied with a lot of planning and expectations for career, finances and for the family. For many, New Year resolutions are the order of the day. But for a lot of men, a trip to the doctor or a medical plan would be the least conceivable thing at this time.

However, as a father and husband, if you must stay alive for your family’s sake, this is time to begin to take stock of your health, especially early warning signs of cancer.

One of the best ways to fight the disease is to catch it in the early stages, when it’s more treatable. The problem is that the warning signs for many kinds of cancer can seem pretty mild and people tend to just ignore them.

Here are 15 signs and symptoms. Some are linked more strongly to cancer than others, but all are worth knowing about - and even talking over with your doctor.

1.         Problems When You Pee

Many men have some problems peeing as they get older, like:

•           A need to pee more often, especially at night

•           Dribbling, leaking, or an urgent need to go

•           Trouble starting to pee, or a weak stream

An enlarged prostate gland usually causes these symptoms, but so can prostate cancer. See your doctor to check on the cause of the problem. He’ll give you an exam to look for an enlarged prostate, and he may talk to you about a blood test (called a PSA test) for prostate cancer.

2.         Changes in Your Testicles

 "If you notice a lump, heaviness, or any other change in your testicle, never delay having it looked at," says Herbert Lepor, MD, urology chairman at New York University Langone Medical Center. 

"Unlike prostate cancer, which grows slowly, testicular cancer can take off overnight." Your doctor will look for any problems with a physical exam, blood tests, and an ultrasound of your scrotum.

3.         Blood in Your Pee or Stool

These can be among the first signs of cancer of the bladder, kidneys, or colon. It's a good idea to see your doctor for any bleeding that’s not normal, even if you don't have other symptoms, Lepor says. Although you're more likely to have a problem that's not cancer, like hemorrhoids or a urinary infection, it's important to find and treat the cause.

4.         Skin Changes

When you notice a change in the size, shape, or color of a mole or other spot on your skin, see your doctor as soon as you can. 

Spots that are new or look different are top signs of skin cancer. You’ll need an exam and perhaps a biopsy, which means doctors remove a small piece of tissue for testing. 

With skin cancer, you don't want to wait, says Marleen Meyers, MD, an oncologist at NYU Perlmutter Cancer Center.

5.         Changes in Lymph Nodes

Swollen lymph nodes, small bean-shaped glands found in your neck, armpits, and other places, often signal that something's going on in your body. Usually, they mean your immune system is fighting a sore throat or cold, but certain cancers also can make them change. Have your doctor check any swelling that doesn't get better in 2 to 4 weeks, Meyers says.

6.         Trouble Swallowing

Some people have trouble swallowing from time to time. But if your problems don’t go away and you’re also losing weight or vomiting, your doctor may want to check you for throat or stomach cancer. He’ll start with a throat exam and barium X-ray

.

During a barium test, you drink a special liquid that makes your throat stand out on the X-ray.

7.         Heartburn

You can take care of most cases of heartburn with changes to your diet, drinking habits, and stress levels. If that doesn’t help, ask your doctor to look into your symptoms. Heartburn that doesn't go away or gets worse could mean stomach or throat cancer.

8.         Mouth Changes

If you smoke or chew tobacco, you have a higher risk of mouth cancer. Keep an eye out for white or red patches inside your mouth or on your lips. Talk to your doctor or dentist about tests and treatments.

9.         Weight Loss Without Trying

Pants fitting a little looser? If you haven’t changed your diet or exercise habits, it could mean that stress or a thyroid problem is taking a toll. But losing 10 pounds or more without trying isn’t normal. 

Although most unintended weight loss is not cancer, it’s one of the signs of cancer of the pancreas, stomach, or lungs. Your doctor can find out more with blood tests and tools that make detailed pictures of the inside of your body, like a CT or PET scan.

10.       Fever

A fever is usually not a bad thing -- it means your body is fighting an infection. But one that won't go away and doesn’t have an explanation could signal leukemia or another blood cancer. Your doctor should take your medical history and give you a physical exam to check on the cause.

11.       Breast Changes

"Men tend to ignore breast lumps because breast cancer isn't on their radar," Meyers says. "But 1% of all breast cancers occur in men, although they're usually diagnosed much later." 

Don’t take any chances. If you find a lump, tell your doctor and have it checked.

12.       Fatigue

Many types of cancer cause a bone-deep tiredness that never gets better, no matter how much rest you get. It’s different from the exhaustion you feel after a hectic week or a lot of activity.

If fatigue is affecting your daily life, talk to your doctor. He can help you find the cause and let you know if there are ways to treat it.

13.       Cough

In nonsmokers, a nagging cough is almost never cancer. Most go away after 3 to 4 weeks. If yours doesn’t, and you’re short of breath or cough up blood, don't delay a visit to your doctor, especially if you smoke. 

A cough is the most common sign of lung cancer. Your doctor can test mucus from your lungs to see if you have an infection. He may also give you a chest X-ray to check for another problem.

14.       Pain

Cancer doesn’t cause most aches and pains, but if you’re hurting for more than a month, don’t just grin and bear it. Ongoing pain can be a signal of many types of cancer, especially those that have spread, Lepor says.

15.       Belly Pain and Depression

It’s rare, but depression along with stomach pain can be a sign of cancer of the pancreas. Should you worry? Not unless this cancer runs in your family, Meyers says. Then you need to see your doctor.

Culled& Adapted