6 Ways To Get Closer To Your Spouse When Work Interfere With Your Marriage

A wonderful holiday period has just past, and another is coming around. Yes, this should be a time when couples spend time together, but unfortunately, finding time to enjoy moments and seasons as a family is usually the problem.

This is true because so many things are demanding for our time. From football matches to other games; from homework and class projects to school plays, church programmes; and on top of the everyday chores and to-do lists at work, people tend to get and feel distant from their spouses – because they are pulled in a million different directions.

For married people, this is certainly cause problems. This leads to loads of worldly pressures and anxiety.  

When your holiday and other schedules, which seem to be dominated by the demands of parenting, stretch our marriages and spiritual lives, it’s time to take a closer look. Yes, it is a problem; but it’s not one without a solution. 

Here are six things to consider to fine tune your life, for the sake of your marriage and to have a sound spiritual life and good career.

1.         Sometimes, it's okay to say no:

Most of us extend ourselves beyond capacity. That’s because it can be hard to say no. Often our hearts are in the right place. We are doing good things. But sometimes we need to make sure we are saying yes to only the things that are truly important, and declining on the things that are ultimately inconsequential. 

This could also mean saying no to your children. You obviously can’t spend your days visiting every playground in town just because your holidaying kids want to do so.

2.         Prioritize and guard dinner time:

There should be a time each day in the life of your family that is sacred. For many, late sports practices or games, hectic work travel schedules and more can keep this from becoming consistent. But, there’s not a much better way for a family to grow closer together than to have the consistency of breaking bread together around the same dinner table.

3.         Make Date Night important:

To remain connected to your spouse, date night has to be a priority. This can be easier said than done. It doesn't happen near enough in our house. But, if you are able to get out of the house together, it’s a beautiful time of reconnecting with each other. 

It enables a couple to see each other as husband and wife, not the roles we play as dad and mom the rest of the time.

4.         Keep Conversations alive:

Any growing relationship has to be watered, and there’s no better nourishment than conversation. 

Interpersonal relationships are built by communication, same as marriage. When we lack communication, it’s hard for us to truly know each other. Spend time daily conversing with your spouse and your children, and with God.

5.         In Marriage, compromise is King:

If the rule in your house is “it’s my way, or the highway,” then you might need to hitchhike your way to a better plan. 

You can’t always do what YOU want to do. This means, you have to take your daughter to her friends’ birthday parties when you would rather be watching football. 

For the wife, it means she occasionally watches football when she’d rather watch a soap opera. And for the kids, it means they have to go home early from the park so their baby brother can take a nap. 

Compromise isn’t a bad word; it’s mandatory in a happy home!

6.         Don’t be fixated; unplug:

We are so connected to the world around us, and this easily gets us disconnected from the home we live in. 

We are constantly checking our phones for new emails, updated news headlines and sports scores. This certainly doesn’t bring us closer to God and our spouse. 

What we read today on Facebook or Twitter, or see on Instagram or Pinterest, isn’t going to drastically change our lives for the better. Every minute you spend playing games online is a minute you could pour into your spouse or kids. 

We need to regularly force ourselves to disconnect from the electronic devices, and connect with our families instead.

There’s no doubt that family problems, busy schedules and everyday concerns can pull you away from God and your spouse. Don’t let the hectic nature of life – especially your work schedules - lead you to burnout, both at home and at work!

Adapted form Brent Rinehart ‘s

Working Couples And Stress

Women, wives go through a lot of stress while trying to balance the pressure of work and managing the home front. A lot of women actually find it hard to relax due to stressful conditions under which they work, and affect their health and overall productivity.

The way to solve this is for woman to enhance their oxytocin production. Oxytocin is a hormone which helps to reduce stress in a woman’s life so they can have more time to relax:

Here are three things men can do to promote the production of oxytocin in their wives:

OFFER TO HELP: Women often feel as if they have to do everything by themselves. When you offer to help, this reduces that pressure, and she can feel as if you are her back-up system and support. This helps her oxytocin levels rise, and she feels less stress and gains more energy in order to do all the things she needs to do.

DISPLAY AFFECTION: Another way to stimulate oxytocin is through displaying affection. Hug her every chance you get - in the morning, when you leave each other, before bed. Men think if she wants a hug, she can come get one - but this does not stimulate the hormone. A woman hugging a man does not cause the man to feel more relaxed, because men do not need oxytocin; they need testosterone to relax. When you display affection to a woman, it can help her relax and gain more energy.

COMMUNICATE: Another thing that stimulates oxytocin is communication. Showing interest, asking questions, trying to understand a problem rather than solve it can all help. Men often try to solve problems as quickly as possible and then take a nap because of their testosterone - but it doesn’t work this way for women. Often, the best thing for men to do is just listen, and because her hormones are rising, she’ll feel more energy and feel better about the situation.

The answer to helping couples balance this evolving role of work and relationships all comes down to understanding the science behind managing stress. Once couples can reduce the amount of stress in their lives, they then have the energy to come up with a system that works effectively for them both.

Lazy Husband; Hard Working Wife…

As a woman, have you ever felt resentment towards your spouse because you think he is lazy and leaves you to do all the work at home? Do you feel he isn’t responsible? You work just like he does, but he wants you to still take care of the house and the kids. Why is this so?

While filming the movie LoveTalk, John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, explained the science behind what causes so many working couples to struggle with the evolving roles of men and women.

For thousands of years, men acted as the providers while women took on the role of the nurturers. Men went to work, while women took on the tasks of taking care of the home and children. Today everything is completely different and couples face a new challenge: balancing both women and men in the workplace.

The woman spends most of her day at work, but when she comes home she has housework and children to tend to - resulting in a lot of pressure to take on all of the responsibilities.

Women have a “never ending to-do list” and so when she finds her husband coming home after a long day of work to come home and sit on the couch to stare blankly at the TV while she has so many responsibilities to do, a lot of resentment can build up.

The biggest problem is nobody knows how to deal with this - women think that men should act more like women, and men can even attempt to adopt more of the woman’s roles, but what results is both people becoming overwhelmed and exhausted.

According to John Gray, there are three elements that men need to do to help achieve this balance between work and home - and there’s actually quite a lot of science behind it.

When women are stressed out, they cannot burn fat, which the body uses for energy and fuel. To feel less stressed, women need an abundant supply of the hormone oxytocin. Men, because of their bodies being made up of more muscle, do not have this; instead they need testosterone, which they can build up by resting and relaxing.

To help couples balance work and their relationship more effectively, both people need the things that stimulate their hormones and help them achieve more with less stress.