The Greatest Needs of A Wife

Marriages may be different just as people are different. But there are principles that are similar or run fairly consistent within each marriage.

Most couples are actually not that different from each other. There are common needs most men and women bring to a marriage in order to make the marriage the best it can be. 

Here are 7 of the greatest needs of a wife irrespective of who she marries:

1.         Love:

Men, do you love your wife above everything else in your life (apart from your Christ relationship), including your work, your hobbies, your friends, family, and even the children?

And, more importantly, do your actions prove your words?

This is one of the strongest injunctions God gave to men on marriage: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) 

2.         Attention:

Wives want to be listened to (even when the television is on) and know that we believe what they have to say is important. 

Our wives would prefer to talk with us over other women, even though another woman might better understand.

•          Men, are you truly listening to what your wife is saying? Again, do your actions prove this?

3.         Protection:

Wives want their husbands to be the defender of the family; not just against the strange sounds in the night, but against all the threats in society. 

Wives want their husbands to take the ownership in leading the family spiritually and in teaching the kids how to defend themselves and stay strong in an evil world. 

•         Men, are you working to protect your family—from all threats?

4.         Security/Commitment:

The wife wants to know you are going to be there forever. Wives often see their visually stimulated husbands looking at other women. Does she know you won’t cheat on her? Are you going to be faithful always?

•          Men, can she trust you? Do your actions build that confidence?

5.         Appreciation/Value:

Wives want to be valued for who they are as much as for what they do. Wives want to know we see them with value beyond just what she does to keep the household running. Is she more important than the stuff she does? Is she still beautiful?

•          Men, do you regular tell her what you admire about her? Do you genuinely compliment her—not just what she does?

6.         Compassion:

Women are referred to as the “weaker vessels.” Of course this doesn’t mean they are less than men, but that men and women are different. 

Women are going to respond differently to situations. They may cry easier, take longer to resolve things emotionally, feel tired quicker. 

Also, wives want a little romance in the marriage. (For most of us, if we’ve been married over a week they already know that’s not going to happen with you.) We can all, however, be kind, loving, and occasionally romantic. 

•       Men, do you understand that your wife is not wired like you?

•   Are you patient with her, allowing her to process things differently than you?

•    Are you still attempting to be romantic at times—pursuing your wife—like you did before you were married?

7.         Partnership:

Wives don’t want to do life alone. They want their husband’s participation in raising the kids, making decisions around the house, and, yes, sometimes even picking out paint colors. 

Wives want their husbands to do life with them, not live two separate lives in the same household.

•          Men, would your wife say you are truly her partner? Are the two of you becoming one more everyday?

This list is just a personal observation. What would you add to the list?