If you want
to grow your finances, the best way is investment and deliberately making plans
and taking steps to change your lot. But do we really do the same for our
marriages and family?
Do you want
to grow your marriage? Here are a few bite-sized things to consider doing as a
way to invest in your marriage:
1. Connect Spiritually
One of the
most beautiful aspects of marriage comes with the opportunity to emotionally
and spiritually connect with another human being. Add to that, the gift of
Christian marriage that gives us an opportunity to connect, not only with one
another, but with a holy and almighty God.
Oftentimes,
believing couples tend to take their spiritual connection for granted,
forgetting that some of the most intimate moments in marriage are when we’re
sharing our hearts, communicating what’s in our spirit, and interacting about
our relationship with God.
If you’re
looking for a really powerful way of investing in your marriage, consider setting
some time aside weekly or even daily to pray together and share about what God
is doing in each of your lives.
2. Communicate Regularly
Believe it
or not, the average married couple spends just minutes a day in active and
meaningful communication. It’s also a known fact that communication gets less
and less with each year of marriage.
This is
saddening, because there is so much joy in being able to communicate with your
spouse.
Each level
of conversation is important, and has to be deliberately worked into
conversation. If you want to do something small that will have a big impact on
your marriage, set aside 10-20 minutes a day sitting face to face with your
spouse, for the sole purpose of communicating.
Don’t let
this be the time to discuss conflict or problems, but just a time to catch up
and keep up with one another.
What was the
best part of your day today? or What’s something I can do to help you out this
week? The goal of this time is to enjoy each other and encourage one
another.
3. Touch Often
Before having
children, many couples many couples tag along fine. But what happens
afterwards?
Many couples
hardly ever have any physical contact with each other. No hand-holding. No
snuggling on the couch. No arms around the shoulder.
But fast
forward a few years and a few kids later, and I totally understand the struggle
of trying to connect physically with your spouse, all while being pulled in a
million different directions.
But even
during seasons of life when it’s hard to come by, physical touch is such an
important part of investing in your marriage. Take inventory of your marriage,
and find times (or even schedule times if you have to!) where you can be
deliberate about holding hands, kissing often, making love, or even doing
something as simple as touching your spouse’s back as you pass them in the
kitchen.
Physical
touch conveys to your spouse that: I notice you, I desire you, and I want to be
near you. Talk about a great investment!
4. Confess and Forgive Frequently
As much as
we talk about confession and forgiveness, I believe we often fail to apply it
in the context of our marriages, because let’s be honest, it’s a hard task!
The idea of
being vulnerable and sharing your weaknesses and shortcomings with another
person can be a really hard pill to swallow…which is precisely why God calls us
to do it. The practice of letting down our pride in the act of confession opens
the door for the opportunity to forgive, which is the sacred glue that holds
marriages together.
The couples who
are highly satisfied in marriage, are not the ones who have the least amount of
disagreement, but the ones who have the most forgiveness. God has forgiven each one of us of so much, and those who live in that
freedom are freed to forgive others.
Invest in
your marriage by taking the time to search your heart frequently, being honest
with your spouse about the things you are longing to change and the areas you
need to ask for forgiveness.
5. "Get Away" Weekly
They say
that couples who “pray together stay together”. But I think it can also be said
that couples who play together, have the most fun! Life can get busy, and the
stress of it all can make us lose sight of the fact that God wants us to enjoy
one another and the life he’s given us.
Invest in
your marriage by taking one time a week and setting aside the time to go out
(or stay in if you can’t afford a weekly sitter) and do something fun!
Play a board
game on the living room floor, go out for a fun dinner, take a hike, pack a
picnic lunch, or even go on a scenic drive.
Rekindle
your love for one another, by rekindling your friendship.
Investing in
your marriage often means doing small things deliberately that will ultimately
have a huge impact. Whether you’ve been married for 5
days, or 50 years, it’s never too early or too late to start making a
difference in your marriage.
