Husband Muslim, Wife Pastor… Would You Allow This in Your Marriage?

 

A lot of couples worship together in the same place, but circumstances sometimes compels some couples to worship in separate centres. But as a married person, would you tolerate your spouse being of a different religion?  

I don’t know what your answer would be, but a couple is daring the odds! 

Pastor (Mrs) Mayowa Ikuforiji is the wife of the Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Adeyemi Ikuforiji. While the wife is a pastor, her husband is a Muslim and they have been together for 30 years. 

In a recent interview with Vanguard, Mrs. Ikuforiji shared how she and her muslim husband have tolerated each other in the home front.

You are a pastor married to a Muslim. How have you sustained the relationship without rancour?

I will say it is the grace of God and basically we worship the same God. We love and understand each other. You know it is natural if members of your husband’s family want his wife to convert to Islam. It is also natural if a Christian marries a Muslim they would want her to convert, but in his case he is understanding and it is some sort of an agreement that he will allow me practice my religion. There is no problem about religion. In fact, at times he would pray with me. Maybe because he studied abroad he was attending churches. He is very conversant with the Bible; he can quote from Genesis to Revelation and it was easier for him to tolerate my religion because of his exposure. If he had been a Muslim who doesn’t know much about the Bible it may have been difficult, but he understands the Bible very well.

Was there no opposition to the wedding from either of the families?

When we met, he was a young man who just came from abroad. I don’t think he believed religion is something that was so important then; and when you love someone, regardless of his religion, you are bound to understand him. When we were courting too, we didn’t see religion as an issue. 

I knew his people may want to complain but they were also very friendly and warm and they did not mind that he was bringing a Christian lady home. In actual fact, it was my father who spoke against our plan to marry when he called me to say for three generations of our family there had never been anyone who married a Christian. He gave me six months to go and think about it and come back to tell him my mind. After six months I went back to him to say I wanted to marry Adeyemi and he gave his approval.

How has it been since then, with both of you practising different religions?

We don’t have any problem. What I know is that we both believe in God and that we must serve Him. He had lost his dad when I met him but his mum was a prayer warrior. If you wake up in the middle of the night, you will see the mother praying. He also doesn’t joke with his prayer and he allows me to practice my own religion. 

Sometimes he would take me to the Anglican Church in Isolo, that was where we stayed when we got married. We got married at Saint Paul Anglican Church, it was a church wedding and court wedding. So religion has never been a problem in our home.

What were those things you saw in him then that made you decide that he was the one you will marry?

When I first met him, it was during my graduation ceremony. He came with my friend’s fiancé but I did not even notice him. When that my friend was now getting married, I was the chief bridesmaid and he was also there. But what I noticed was that he was very caring. He was all over the place making sure that the whole ceremony went well; people were calling him, he was very popular and ready to assist. I saw that he was also jovial. He drove all of us from Oyo to Iree because the wedding took place in Iree. I forgot the dress I was supposed to wear to the church thanksgiving on Sunday. The wrapper I wore to the wedding on Saturday, he had to wash the top for me in the night so that it would be dry before Sunday morning. 

 Most educated young men at that time wouldn’t do that. I saw that in him that he was very caring. He wants you to be happy; if he sees anyone that is sad, he will try as much as possible to make him happy and he believes he can solve everybody’s problem. And then he has the fear of God in him. There are certain things he will never do. We have been married for 30 years now; he has never touched alcohol, not even wine.

You never envisaged that he would become a prominent politician that he is today. Was there any talk of him going to politics when you first met?

There wasn’t anything like that. He was working in a bank then. I just wanted to be with him and he wanted to be with me too. We were both too young anyway to start projecting about the future; it was just God that made it to work out fine. We are just two people in love and we felt we could make a go of it, not that I thought that he was going to be Speaker or anything like that.

Were you apprehensive when he eventually dabbled into politics?

You know people believe that when you are into politics, you are someone without integrity and that you are there to make money for yourself. But I told him that if he wanted to go into politics, people were going to give him a name that was not his, but he said his life had always been that of service. 

He believes that when he is into politics, that is when he would be able to touch more lives than what he was actually doing and i believe that when you commit any journey into the hand of God, there won’t be any problem. And I told him that I will give him my support and God has been there for him too. That was how we committed it into the hand of God.

How about the kids now? Do they toe your line or that of the dad in religious practice?

For my son, he has the inclination to be a Muslim. He went on Umrah with his dad. The first time the son was in Saudi, he went with some prayer requests and he said if God answered him, he would continue to go with his dad. 

To my amazement he said all the prayer requests were answered . So he has been a Muslim. But the girls maybe because they had more inclination towards their mother are more into Christianity, but they don’t follow me to my church. They are all grown up and we allow them to follow their minds.

I am a pastor and very serious about my religion. My husband is a Muslim and very serious about Islam.

He is seeking to become the next governor of Lagos State. Have you committed the journey into the hand of God?

If you want to take such a step in life, the first thing anybody needs to do is to seek the face of God. He is the only one that can do such a thing for you. I wouldn’t encourage him if we had not committed the whole project into God’s hand.

When do you get the revelation to become a pastor?

You don’t get a revelation to become a pastor, it is your work of faith, how you have been working in the Lord’s vineyard. Before you could be ordained, there are certain things God would have revealed to you and confirmed by others that would make them say this person is now qualified to be a pastor. The work you doing with God is important; some people will be noticing you and you may not know. How close are you to God? Those are the issues that would come into play before you could be considered to be a pastor. I became a pastor five years ago.

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